評論
打印
Bernie Bunny Has Two Daddies Now. That's probably about homosexual rabbits.
兔子波尼有兩個爸爸了，估計是同志兔子的故事。
Gerry the Gerbil and the Bullies on the Bus. Read it. Not helpful.
沙鼠杰瑞和惡霸在公車上。讀過了，沒啥用。
Oh, here we go. Stu the Cockatoo Is New at the Zoo.
哦有了，動物園的新成員鸚鵡斯圖。
Author Sarah Carpenter lives in Fort Wayne, Indiana with her husband and best friend, Mark, and their cockatoo Stu.
Sarah Carpenter作，現與其愛人朋友馬克以及鸚鵡斯圖，居住于印第安納州韋恩堡。
Hardly makes her an expert in making friends, wouldn't you agree?
沒有點交友專家的樣子，你說是吧？
I don't like birds. They scare me. Me, too. Most people don't see it.
我不喜歡鳥類，它們多嚇人。我也是。很多人都意識不到。
What are you reading? Curious George. Oh, I do like monkeys. Curious George is a monkey.
你讀啥呢？好奇的喬治。哦，猴子我最喜歡。好奇喬治就是猴子。
Somewhat anthropomorphized, but yes.
算是人格化的，但沒錯。
Say, maybe sometime you and I could go see monkeys together. Would you like that? Okay.
或許啥時候咱倆去看猴子，你覺得好不？好哇。
Sheldon, what are you doing? I'm making friends with this little girl. What's your name? Rebecca.
謝爾頓你干嘛呢？我和這小女孩交朋友呢，你叫什么名字？麗貝卡。
Hi, Rebecca. I'm your new friend, Sheldon. No, you're not. Let's go.
嗨麗貝卡，我是你的新朋友謝爾頓。不別搞了，走吧。
We were really hitting it off. Don't look up. There's cameras.
我倆聊得正投機呢。別抬頭，上面有攝像頭。
I'm curious, the "How well do you know Sheldon" section, what did you put for his favorite amino acid? Lysine. Lysine.
我想知道， 在“你有多了解謝爾頓”那項他最喜歡的氨基酸你們填的啥？賴氨酸。
Damn it, I had lysine and changed it.
完了，我本來寫了賴氨酸又改了。
Oh, good, you're just in time. I believe I've isolated the algorithm for making friends.
太好了，正好，我想我解開了交友解題步驟。
Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends.
謝爾頓，交友哪有解題步驟啊。
Well, hear him out. If he's really onto something, we could open a booth at ComicCon. Make a fortune.
聽他講完，要是真有什么發現，我們就在動漫大會上弄個展臺大賺一筆。
See, my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies as those that plagued Stu the Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo.
是這樣，我最初和克里普柯搭話就跟鸚鵡斯圖剛到公園時一樣有著缺陷。
Stu the Cockatoo? Yes. He's new at the zoo.
鸚鵡斯圖？沒錯，他是動物園新成員。
It's a terrific book. I've distilled its essence into a simple flow chart that will guide me through the process.
超贊的書。我摘錄它的精華制作了流程圖來指導我。
Have you thought about putting him in a crate while you're out of the apartment?
有沒有考慮過出門時把他裝進大木箱里？
Hello, Kripke? Sheldon Cooper here.
你好克里普柯。我是謝爾頓?庫珀。
It occurred to me that you hadn't returned any of my calls because I hadn't offered any concrete suggestions for pursuing our friendship.
我想到了，你沒回我的電話是因為我沒為發展友情提出實際建議，
Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together.
或許咱倆該一起吃個飯。
I see. Well, then perhaps you'd have time for a hot beverage? Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa.
了解。那有沒有時間喝個熱飲？最受歡迎的有茶，咖啡，可可。
I see. No, no, no, wait. Don't hang up yet. What about a recreational activity?
了解，別，先別掛，娛樂活動怎么樣呢？
I bet we share some common interests. Tell me an interest of yours.
我們肯定有共同愛好。說說你有啥興趣愛好？
Really? On actual horses? Tell me another interest of yours.
真的呀？騎真馬？再說個興趣愛好。
I'm sorry. I have no desire to get in the water till I absolutely have to. Tell me another interest of yours.
抱歉，不到逼不得已我才不下水游泳。再說個興趣愛好。
Uhoh, he's stuck in an infinite loop. I can fix it.
哦這問題要無限循環下去了。我來搞定。
Interesting, but isn't ventriloquism by definition a solo activity?
有意思，但口技不是個人娛樂項目嗎？
Yeah. Tell me another interest of yours. Is there any chance you like monkeys?
再說個興趣愛好。你喜不喜歡猴子呀？
What is wrong with you? Everybody likes monkeys.
你咋回事嘛？人人都喜歡猴子。
Hang on, Kripke. A loop counter and an escape to the least objectionable activity. Howard, that's brilliant. I'm surprised you saw that.
別掛克里普柯，沒辦法時選擇不太討厭的項目。霍華德聰明啊，你居然想到了。
Gee, why can't Sheldon make friends?
天呀，謝爾頓咋交不到朋友呢？
All right, Kripke, that last interest strikes me as the least objectionable, and I would like to propose that we do that together. Tomorrow. Yes, I'll pay.
好了克里普柯，你剛說那興趣愛好是我不太討厭的，我提議咱一起去玩，明天。是的我付錢。
All right. Time to learn rock climbing. You know, I am a fan of ventriloquism.
好啦，該學學攀巖了。要知道，我超喜歡口技。
Maybe you, me and your dummy could go get a hot beverage. He could talk while you drink. Nope. I wanna climb some rocks.
要不你我還有你的小假人去喝個熱飲，你喝時他表演。算了，我想攀巖。
This appears significantly more monolithic than it did on my laptop.
這家伙比在電腦上看起來大啊。
One expects to see hominids learning to use bones as weapons. You afraid of heights, Cooper?
想看原始人怎么用骨頭當武器呢。你恐高啊庫珀？
Hardly. A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.
哪能啊，恐高完全不合理。然而害怕掉下來才是有發展眼光的說法。
What would you say is the minimum altitude I need to achieve to cement our newfound friendship?
你說要鞏固我們的友情，我最少要爬多高呀？
Come on, they have birthday parties here. Little kids climb this. Little kid hominids perhaps.
好啦，這開生日會呢，小盆友都爬。小原始人吧。
So is this your entire job? Your parents must be so proud.
你工作就干這點事啊？父母一定很驕傲。
Let's go, Cooper. I'm coming, Kripke. Okay, the harness seems to be secure.
來啊庫珀。來了克里普柯。好的，繩子貌似很結實
A small amount of incontinence just now, but the Web site said that's to be expected.
剛才有點不能自制，但網上說那是正常情況。
This isn't so bad. It's like vertical swimming.
也不咋難嘛，像是垂直游泳。
Hey, look at you, Cooper. You're almost halfway to the top. I am?
嘿，瞧瞧庫珀，都爬到一半了。是嗎？
I was wrong. It is a fear of heights. You all right there, Cooper?
我錯了，我恐高。你還好嗎庫珀？
Not really. I feel somewhat like an inverse tangent function that's approached an asymptote. Are you saying you're stuck?
不太好，感覺像是反正切曲線接近漸近線了。你是說你卡住了？
What part of inverse tangent function approaching an asymptote did you not understand?
反正切曲線接近漸近線，哪個字你不明白？
I understood all of it. I'm not a moron. Just keep going.
我都明白，我又不是白癡，接著爬啦。
Yeah, I don't think I can. Well, then climb back down.
我想我做不到。那就爬下去。
No, that doesn't seem any more likely. What's your plan, Cooper?
不行，更沒可能了。你打算咋辦庫珀？
Well, it's not exactly a plan, but I think I'm going to pass out.
不能算是啥打算，我想我要暈菜了。
I'm sorry, can we please just do it one more time?
抱歉，咱再做一次行嗎？
Okay. One, two, one, two, three, and... It's a little thing, but you really do miss it.
好的，一二，一二三...小事一件，但真是懷念啊。
Hello, everyone. I brought my new friend Barry Kripke home for dinner. Hello to you, too.
大家好。我帶新朋友貝瑞?克里普柯回家吃飯了。你們也好啊。
How was rock climbing? He passed out. Just hung there like a big salami.
攀巖怎樣？他暈過去了，跟個意大利臘腸一樣吊在那。
Tha that hat's where I sit. Ooh, you have a special spot? What kind of wacko are you?
那那那是我的座。你還有固定座位呢？咋這么怪呢？
How much time you got? You want some Chinese food? Terrific. Got any dental floss? In the bathroom.
看你能忍多久。來點中餐？太好了，有牙線沒？在洗手間。
Be right back. I got to floss the Indian food out of my teeth if I'm gonna eat Chinese.
馬上回來。吃中餐前要先把牙里的印度菜弄出來。
Sheldon, are you okay? Oh, yes, I pass out all the time, but it was worth it.
謝爾頓，還好嗎？哦好呀，全暈過去了，但值了。
I've made substantial progress in bonding with Kripke, which brings me to an awkward moment.
我和克里普柯的友情有了質的進展，但這也產生了一個尷尬的問題。
What's that? Maintaing five friendships promises to be a Herculean task, so...I'm going to have to let one of you go.
那是什么？維持五個朋友的友情太難了，所以我要開除你們其中一個。
Me, me, let it be me.
我我，選我吧。
Leonard, you are my roommate, my source of transportation, and you help me fold my sheets when they come out of the dryer. You are safe.
蘭納德，你是我的室友，我的出行工具，床單烘干后你會為我疊好。你安全了。
Can I whistle? Don't be silly.
能吹口哨不？別犯傻。
Howard, you do not have a PhD; your cologne is an assault on the senses; and you're not available for video games during the Jewish high holidays.
霍華德，你沒有博士學位，你的古龍水刺激感官，猶太重大節日期間你不能參與電子游戲。
Guilty as charged. I'm out. No. You too are safe. Oh, come on. What do I have to do?
我有罪啊，我淘汰了。不，你也安全。哦不是吧，我該怎么做呀？
Okay, you know what? I see where this is going. I'm not one of you guys. I'm not a scientist, so just tell me...
好了，我知道怎么個意思了，我不屬于你們中的一員，我也不是科學家，直接告訴我...
Penny, Penny, Penny, everything you're saying is true, but please allow me to continue.
佩妮，佩妮，佩妮，你說的都對，但請聽我說完，
Raj, you're out. That's a good question.
拉杰你被淘汰了。問的好。
While you do provide a certain cultural diversity to an otherwise homogenous group, your responses to the questionnaire were truly disturbing.
你的確為這個同類的小團體注入了異域的文化，但你問卷的回答太鬧心了。
How could you for a moment think that my favorite amino acid is glutamine?
你怎么會覺得我最喜歡的氨基酸是谷氨酰胺？
He had lysine, but changed it. Shoulda, woulda, coulda, Raj.
他寫了賴氨酸又改了。早干啥了拉杰。
I like to floss before I eat so my gum pockets are open for new food.
我喜歡在吃東西前打牙線，以便牙縫迎接新的食物。
Hello! How did I walk past you? I'm Barry.
你好啊！我以前怎會沒注意到你？我是貝瑞。
Penny. Eh, that's not a very hot name. I'm going to call you Roxanne. Ooh, pot stickers.
佩妮。呃，這名字不咋性感嘛。我要叫你洛希娜。哦，鍋貼。
Suddenly, I'm looking pretty good, huh?
是不是突然間我變得如此優秀了？
So, Kripke, I was wondering if there's any chance you could get me some time on the open science grid computer?
克里普柯，我在想你能不能借我用用開放科學網格計算機呢？
No. No? But we're friends. I'm sorry. No, my friend.
不行。不行？我們是朋友啊。抱歉不行，我的盆友。
I'm confused. I was given to understand that you allow your friends time on the machine.
搞不懂了，我以為你會讓朋友用那機器的。
No, that's wrong. There's an official schedule. I have no control over it.
不，不是那么回事，有正式安排的，我做不了主。
Well, this entire endeavor seems to have been an exercise in futility. Raj, you're back in. He likes monkeys.
看來整個嘗試都是徒勞了。拉杰，你可以回來了。他喜歡猴子。
I gotta give him credit for sticking with it. I didn't think he had it in him. And he almost made it to the top this time.
我得表揚他的堅持精神。我看他是沒那細胞。這次差點就到頂了啊。
