評論
打印
I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
我什么都沒看到，謝爾頓。
Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound. Me, too.
你是醫生聽你的，但確實老有煩人的聲音在我耳邊響。和我一樣。
Is it a high frequency whistle? No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.
是一種高頻的口哨聲嗎？不，是一種時刻不停的自以為是的嘮叨。
Yup, there's no inflammation at all, Sheldon. Then it must be a tumor. I seriously doubt it.
沒有任何炎癥，謝爾頓。那我肯定得腫瘤了。我深表懷疑。
Maybe it's a lingering bacterial infection from all those childhood toilet swirlies.
也許是以前小時候常把頭塞進馬桶沖水造成的永久性細菌感染。
Is that possible? I used to get those all the time. Even in church.
真的會這樣嗎？我以前經常這么干的。甚至在教堂里。
Well you know if it is from a swirly, there something I can do.
如果是因為這個的話，我倒有個辦法。
Okay, circle, circle, dot, dot, now you have a cootie shot!
圈圈點點，虱子不再煩擾你。
I'm going to bed. Okay, I'll be right in.
我去睡覺了。好的，我馬上就來。
It's not enough that she mocks me, but that isn't even the correct procedure for a cootie shot.
她不光是在嘲笑我，而且把打預防針的流程也搞錯了。
Do you understand that Stephanie's not here to treat your imaginary ailments?
你知道斯蒂芬妮到這里來不是為了幫你治療你那些臆想的毛病吧？
How is it imaginary that I keep hearing an octave above Middle C?
怎么可能是臆想，我老是聽見一種高于中央C的八度音，
Is that imaginary? I don't think so.
這是臆想嗎？我看不是。
Good night. Leonard, there's one more thing.
晚安。萊納德，還有件事，
Under Article One, Section Three of our Roommate Agreement, I'm calling an emergency meeting. No, you're not.
根據我們的合租協議第一章第三段，我要召開一個緊急會議。你不是吧。
Leonard moves the meeting not occur. Is there a second? None heard, the motion fails.
萊納德提議不要開會，有人同意么？沒有。提議不予采納。
I'd like to begin the meeting by congratulating you on the progress in your relationship with Dr. Stephanie. Thank you.
在會議的開頭，我想祝賀你和斯蒂芬妮醫生戀情有了進展。謝謝。
That being said, we have to discuss the implementation of the agreed upon "cohabitation" rider which has been activated now that the two of you are living together.
那也就是說，我們必須討論對于同居附加條例的執行問題。因為你們兩人現在已經住在一起了。
We're not living together. I beg to disagree.
我們沒有啊。我有不同意見。
"A girlfriend shall be deemed quote living with unquote Leonard when she has stayed over for A: ten consecutive nights, or B: more than nine nights in three week period, or C: all the weekends of a given month plus three weeknights.
某女性被認定為跟萊納德前引號同居后引號的時間條件是，A，連續十晚或B，三周之內超過九晚，或C，一個月之內的所有周末再加上三個非周末。
That's absurd. You initialed it. See? L.H. , L.H. , L.H.
這太荒唐了。你自己都簽名了，看，萊萊萊
Wait, I only initialed it because I never thought it would happen!
我簽名的原因是因為我覺得這些條例永遠都用不上的。
I initialed another clause naming you my sidekick in case I get super powers.
我還簽了一條，上面說如果我有超能力的話就讓你做我搭檔。
Hmm, yes, you did. Now, here review the following provisions are hereby activated:
是啊，沒錯。我們再來溫故一下需要執行哪些條例。
In the refrigerator, as opposed to us having two separate shelves and one communal shelf,
在冰箱里我們不能再使用兩個單人層和一個公用層了。
the three of us now get individual shelves and the door becomes communal.
現在我們三個人每人使用一層，然后冰箱門變作公用。
Next, apartment vacuuming shall be increased from two to three times a week to accommodate the increased accumulation of dead skin cells.
下一條，房間清掃工作，應從每周兩次增加為每周三次，以解決日益增加的死皮細胞。
Third, the bathroom schedule. Now, I'm given to understand women have different needs, so, we'll have to discuss that.
第三，廁所使用時間表，我了解到女人對廁所的用法有所不同，所以我們應該討論一下。
I'm going to bed. At least take this with you.
我去睡覺了。你至少也得把這帶走吧。
Look, and have Stephanie initial here, here, here, here...and...here.
別忘了讓斯蒂芬妮簽名，這里，這里，這里還有這里。
This states that she does not now nor does she intend to play a percussive or brass instrument.
這一條規定，從現在起她不能也不準計劃演奏打擊樂器或者銅管樂器。
Sure sounds like a tumor pressing on the auditory nerve.
肯定是腫瘤壓迫聽覺神經了。
No, absolutely not. It's not a big deal. We have latex gloves.
絕對不行。這又沒什么，我們有衛生手套的。
I don't care what the symptoms are, my girlfriend is not going to give you a prostate exam.
我不管你出現了什么癥狀，我女朋友是不會幫你做前列腺檢查的。
Hi, Sheldon. Good morning, Dr. Stephanie. I trust Leonard satisfied you sexually last night.
謝爾頓。早上好，斯蒂芬妮醫生。我想萊納德昨晚肯定讓你性福了吧。
Sheldon, we don't ask questions like that. I heard you ask it over and over. How is it inappropriate for me to ask it once?
謝爾頓，這種問題不能隨便問的。那我怎么總聽到你在問啊，我只問一次怎么就錯了。
He did very nicely. See? She's not offended. And now you finally have an answer.
他非常棒。看見沒，她不生氣，而且你也知道結果了。
Out of coffee. Need coffee. Oh, hello. Hi! Stephanie, right? Uhhuh. And And And you are?
沒咖啡了，需要咖啡。你好。斯蒂芬妮是嗎？是，你...你是？
Penny, I live across the hall. I've heard a lot about you. Really? Mmhmm. I haven't heard a thing about you.
佩妮，我就住對門。我聽說了你很多事情。是嗎？怎么沒人跟我提起你啊。
Leonard, Why haven't I heard a thing about this woman who lives across the hall and comes into your apartment in the morning...in her underwear?
萊納德？為什么你從來都沒跟我說起過這個住在你對門的喜歡早上跑這兒來的女人，還穿著內衣？
She's heard about you because we're, you know, involved and you haven't heard about her because...
她聽說過你是因為你是我女朋友，而你沒聽說過她則是因為...
I never slept with her, I swear!
我從沒跟她上過床，我發誓。
In Leonard's defense, it wasn't for lack of trying.
不過話說回來，這倒并不是因為萊納德不想。
Thank you, Sheldon. You're welcome, Leonard.
謝謝你，謝爾頓。別客氣，萊納德。
Look, I'm just saying, um... Penny is one of our many neighbors, you know, and in our building, neighbors come and go, it's very casual, no dress code.
我的意思是佩妮是我們眾多鄰居中的一位，在我們這幢樓里，鄰居們進進出出很隨便的，不講究穿著。
In fact, some mornings I'll just mosey down to the third floor in my pajamas and have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
實際上有好幾天早上我都是穿著睡衣游蕩到三樓瓦塔比蒂安太太家里跟她一起吃麥片的。
Really? I have never once been invited to have cereal with Mrs. Vartabedian.
真的嗎？我怎么從來都沒被瓦塔比蒂安太太邀請去共進麥片的。
She doesn't like you.
她看你不爽。
You have a gall bladder to remove and I have to get in the shower and Penny has clothes to put on, so...
你不是要去切除什么膽囊么？我要去洗澡了，而佩妮要穿衣服了。
Well, it was very nice meeting you. Nice to finally meet you, too. And I'll see you tonight? Okay, byebye.
很高興能見到你。我也很高興終于見到你了。我們今天晚上見？好的，再見。
What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?
我到底做了什么事情招惹到了瓦塔比蒂安太太？
So, that's Stephanie, huh?
那就是斯蒂芬妮啊？
Why do I feel like I'm the one that just got the prostate exam?
為什么我感覺我被做了前列腺檢查？
You know, she seems very nice. Oh, she is. She's terrific. And she's proving to be a valuable roommate.
她看上去人挺好的。沒錯，她太棒了。真的是一位好室友。
Roommate? You guys are living together? Like hippies.
室友？你們住一起了？像嬉皮士一樣。
We're not living together. Do I have to pull out the paperwork again?
我們沒同居。你還想看看那些條款嗎？
We're not living together. Are you sure? How could I not be sure? Well, let's find out.
我們沒同居。你確定嗎？我怎么可能不確定。我們試試就知道了。
Don't you think if a woman was living with me I'd be the first one to know about it?
你不覺得如果一個女人和我同居的話我會第一個意識到么？
Oh, sweetie, you'd be the last one to know about it.
親愛的，你肯定是那個最后知道的。
Hmm, cute dresses. I bet this looks great on you!
很漂亮的衣服嘛。我打賭你穿這個會很好看。
We're not living together. Okay, hmm... Scented candles, fuzzy slippers, Ooh! Floral bed sheets?
我們沒有同居。好吧。香氛蠟燭，毛毛拖鞋，碎花床單。
We're not living together. Okay, moving on. Now, who are these guys at Disney World?
我們沒有同居。好吧，我繼續，迪斯尼樂園里這兩位是誰呀？
Uh, the big dog is Goofy, but the older couple with the mouse ears, I have no idea.
那個大狗叫高飛，那兩個戴米奇耳朵的大人我就不知道了。
We're not living together! You're going to go down swinging, huh?
我們沒有同居。還不承認嘛？
All right, well, we got your body lotion, your InStyle Magazine, your jewelry box. We're not Where's my Bat Signal?
好吧，看看你的護膚乳液，你的瑞麗雜志，你的首飾盒。我們沒有...我的蝙蝠俠信號燈去哪了？
You have a Bat Signal? I did. It was right here.
你有一個蝙蝠俠信號燈？我是有過，之前就放這了。
She must've Oh, my God, we're living together. Really? What was your first clue?
一定是她，天吶，我們是同居了。真的嗎，你是怎么發現的？
New pants? Yeah, Sthanie got them for me. Nice. Cotton?
新褲子？是啊，斯蒂芬妮買給我的。不錯嘛，棉的。
Actually, I think it's more of wool, fire ant blend.
事實上我覺得更像是羊毛和火紅蟻的混合物。
So, the girlfriend is buying clothes for you, huh? Sounds serious.
這么說你的女朋友替你買衣服啦，很親密嘛。
It is actually. In fact, I gave it a lot of thought and I decided it was time for us to live together.
沒錯。事實上我也想了很多，我覺得我們是時候搬到一起住了。
Oh, Leonard, huge mistake.
萊納德，大錯特錯，
There's a whole buffet of women out there and you're just standing in the corner eating the same deviled egg over and over again.
外面的女人多的就像自助餐廳里的食物，你卻站在角落里吃著同樣的芥末蛋，日復一日。
At least I have an egg. What do you have?
至少我有雞蛋吃，你有什么？
A veritable smorgasbord of potential sexual partners. See the blonde over there?
一打隨意取用的潛在性伴侶。看到那個金發美女了嗎？
I can hit on her and you can't. So, go hit on her.
我能去泡她你就不行。去泡啊。
She's not my type. Too bad, 'cause she was checking you out before.
她不是我喜歡的類型。真遺憾，她剛才還偷看你來著呢。
She was? Of course not. Look at her.
她有嘛？當然沒有，看看她。
I don't care what you guys think. Stephanie and I are very happy living together.
我不關心你們怎么想，斯蒂芬妮和我住在一起很開心。
I will give either of you 20 dollars, right now to trade pants with me.
我愿意給你們20塊錢，你們誰能跟我換換褲子呀。
Sheldon, what are you doing here? Hang on. 130 over 80. A little high.
謝爾頓，你干嘛呢？等下。高壓130低壓80，有點高，
We can attribute that to the stress of sneaking past the security desk.
可能是緊張的緣故，因為我得悄悄溜過保安室。
Where did you get the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff?
你哪來的聽診器，還有這個血壓袖帶？
My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday.
我阿姨瑪麗昂給我的12歲生日禮物。
She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on.
她覺得如果我掛了理論物理，得有個謀生的手藝。
And by the way, the blood pressure cuff is called a sphygmomanometer.
順便說一下，那個血壓袖帶叫做血壓計。
Thank you. Didn't they teach you that in medical school?
他們在醫學院沒有教過你嗎？
I'm kinda busy here, Sheldon. I understand. All I need is for you to authorize these tests.
我有點忙謝爾頓。我了解，我就是需要你授權這些檢查。
A cardiac stress test, a full body MRI, anlectromyogram, a CBC, baseline glucose. Upper GI?
心臟負荷檢查，全身磁共振成像，肌電圖，全血細胞計數，葡萄糖基線，上消化道？
Oh, and an exploratory laparoscopy. Last time I had hiccups, it felt like my diaphragm was just going through the motions.
還有腹腔鏡檢查。上次我打嗝了，感覺像是我的隔膜在向我示意。
Go home, Sheldon. Can I at least have the upper GI? I already drank the barium!
回家吧謝爾頓。至少給我做個上消化道檢查吧，我都已經喝了鋇水了。
