評論
打印
Rachel: Hello.
喂。
Monica: Hey, Rach, it's me.
嘿，瑞秋，是我。
Rachel: Hi!
嗨！
Monica: OK, I just got to Chandler's room and I caught him molesting himself.
我剛到錢德的房間，然后看到他正在猥褻他自己。
Rachel: Oh, that couldn't've been pretty. But you know, guys do that.
那畫面可能不是很好看。但是你知道的，男生常那樣做的。
Monica: Yeah, well, the weird part is...he was getting off to a shark attack show!
但是，很奇怪的是他在看的是鯊魚攻擊影片耶！
Rachel: Nooo!
好惡心！
Monica: Yes! Chandler watches shark porn!
是的！錢德竟然在看鯊魚色情片！
Rachel: Well, watching sharks? Are you sure that's what he was doing?
在看鯊魚的時候？你確定他是在做那檔事嗎？
Monica: Do you know how many times I've seen him jump up like that?
你知道我看他那樣跳起來過多少次了嗎？
Monica:Believe me, I know what he was doing.
相信我，我知道他在做什么。
Rachel: Man, sharks. I always knew there was something weird about that dude.
天啊！鯊魚！我就知道那個人有地方不對勁。
Rachel:But you promised to love him no matter what.
但是你發(fā)誓過無論如何都要愛他的。
Monica: What means like if he gets like a disease or kills someone.
“無論如何”講的是像如果他得病還是殺了人什么的。
Monica:Not if he gets his jollies to Jaws!
而不是如果他把小弟弟放到鯊魚嘴里。
Rachel: Ah!
嗷！
Rachel:You know what hell honey? Guys are just different.
你知道嗎？親愛的男生是很不一樣的。
Rachel:They like things that we can't understand.
他們喜歡一些我們無法理解的東西。
Rachel:You know, I once dated this guy who wanted to pretend that he was an archeologist and that I was this naughty cave woman who he unfroze from a block of ice.
我曾經(jīng)約會過一個男的，總是想要假裝……他是考古學(xué)家，而我是……他從冰塊中解救出來調(diào)皮的山頂洞女人。
Monica: Eww, are-are you talking about my bother?
你是在說我哥嗎？
Rachel: Yeah, I didn't disguise that very well, did I.
我裝得不像，對不對？
Joey: Hey!
嘿！
Rachel: Hi.
嗨。
Joey: Listen to this...I went out with this girl last night. Half way through our date, I realized, I already slept with her!
我昨晚跟一個女孩子出去。我到一半的時候才發(fā)現(xiàn)，我已經(jīng)跟她上過床了！
Rachel: So basically, you've slept with all the woman in New York and now you're just going around again.
所以你已經(jīng)跟全紐約的女人上過床了，現(xiàn)在只是從頭開始再來一次？
Joey: Well that's not even the weird part.
這還不是最奇怪的地方。
Joey:I don't think she remembered sleeping with me.
她竟然不記得跟我上過床了。
Monica: But you don't remember sleeping with her.
你也不記得跟她上過床啊。
Joey: Yeah, but she should remember sleeping with me! I am very memorable, you guys know.
但是她應(yīng)該要記得的！我可是很令人難忘的，你們知道的。
Rachel: What, how do we know, we never slept with you.
我們怎么會知道呢？我們又沒有跟你上過床。
Joey: And whose fault is that?
那是誰的錯呢？
Monica: What's the big deal, you forgot, she forgot, maybe you were having an off night.
又沒有什么大不了的，你忘了，她忘了，或許那天晚上你沒有達(dá)陣。
Joey: Hey! I never have an off night, OK, although, sometimes if I'm a little bloated I don't feel that sexy, but even that I'm better than most!
嘿！我向來都有達(dá)陣的，好嗎？雖然有時候如果我吃太脹可能就不會覺得很性感，但是即使是那樣，我都比別人強(qiáng)！
Monica: Honey, why don't you just let it go and ask her out again?
親愛的，你何不就此釋懷再約她出去呢？
Rachel: Yeah, you're both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with! You're made for each other.
你們都是騷貨，你們根本都不記得跟誰上過床！你們是天生的一對。
Joey: Interesting. You know. All right, Well I'll-I'll go out with her again and I'll try to get past it Oh salt, bloaty!
真有趣。好吧，我會再跟她出去，然后忘了過去，不吃鹽，會脹氣！
Monica: Joey.
喬伊？
Joey: What?
干嘛？
Monica: Joey, You don't think sharks are sexy do you?
你會覺得鯊魚很性感嗎？
Joey: No. Wait a minute, what was the little mermaid?
不會。等一下，等等，小美人魚是鯊魚嗎？
Phoebe: It's open.
門沒鎖！
Ross: Hey!
嘿！
Phoebe: Hey! Mike called, we're going out again! Yay! Yay!
麥克打電話來了，我們要再約會了！
Ross: Yay! Quick thing, Um, I went to talk to Mike.
件小事，我去找麥克談過。
Phoebe: What? Wh-what did you, what did you do, Ross!
什么？你做……你做了什么？羅斯！
Ross: Oh boy, you got mad at that part.
喔，天啊，光這樣你就生氣了。
Ross:I-I went over there you know to-to tell him how-how great you are, but, well you-you know me, blah blah blah, and I-I ended up telling him, um...that...
我過去找他，告訴他你是個很棒的人，但是……嗯，你知道我的，話太多了，然后我最后竟然告訴他……
Phoebe: What? !
什么？
Ross: Umm...you had a six-year-long relationship with a guy named Vicrum.
你有過六年的戀情……跟一個叫做偉軟的人。
Phoebe: What? Why!
什么？為什么？
Ross: Well, he seemed bummed hard that you'd never been in a serious relationship.
因為，他……在我說你從未談過認(rèn)真的戀情之后，好像有點驚訝。
Phoebe: If you hadn't just had a baby with my best friend, I swear to Lucifer, a rabid dog would be feasting on your danglers right now!
如果你不是剛跟我最要好的朋友生下小孩，我跟撤旦發(fā)誓，一只狂犬病瘋狗正要吃掉你褲檔里的那根東西了！
Ross: Well Phoebe, I think you'll feel differently when you know a little bit about Vicrum.
我想如果你知道多一點關(guān)于偉軟的事，你會感覺好多了。
Ross:Ok, he's a, um, he's a kite designer!
好的，他是……他是風(fēng)箏設(shè)計師！
Ross:And he used to date Oprah!
而且他曾經(jīng)跟于美人約會過！
Phoebe: I'm not going along with some lie you made up, Ross. No, I'm just, I'm just gonna be honest with him.
我不會跟你唱雙簧說謊的，羅斯。我會跟他老實說。
Ross: Good, yeah, just-just be honest with him.
很好跟他老實說。
Phoebe: Yeah, I've nothing to be ashamed of.
我沒有什么好隱瞞的。
Phoebe:OK, so, all right, I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month.
沒錯，就算我的每段感情沒都有超過1個月，那又如何呢？
Phoebe:OK, I-I haven't had a real boyfriend.
是啊，我是沒有過真正的男朋友。
Phoebe:You know, if he can't handle that, then he can leave.
如果他無法接受，那他可以離開。
Phoebe:Which he will, and you know, that's OK. So, I'll just be alone forever, you know, alright, I'll be...it'll be fine, it'll be fine. I'll go on, I'll go on walking tours with widows and lesbians.
我想他會離開的，而這一切都沒有關(guān)系。我只不過會永遠(yuǎn)孤單而己，都沒關(guān)系了，一切都會沒事的，我就跟寡婦還有同性戀一起出去玩嘛。
Ross: I'll get it.
我去開門。
Phoebe: OK.
好的。
Mike: I'm trying to remember the last time I opened a door and you weren't there. Phoebe, are you OK?
讓我想想有哪一次，開門的人不是你。菲比，你還好嗎？
Phoebe: Uh huh, yeah. There's just, umm, there's something you should know... Vicrum just called.
還好，只不過是……有件事你必須要知道……偉軟剛打電話來。
Hayley: So it was really a shock. After 25 years of marriage, my parents, a perfect couple, are getting divorced.
所以在經(jīng)歷二十五年的婚姻之后，這真是很讓人驚訝，我的模范父母竟然要離婚。
Hayley:I kinda took it the hardest 'cause I was the youngest.
我真的很難接受，因為我年齡最小。
Joey: Uh huh, sure, yeah. How can you not remember me?
當(dāng)然咯。你怎么會忘了我是誰？
Hayley: What?
什么？
Joey: How could you not remember that we slept together?
你怎么會忘了我們上過床？
Hayley: What! When?
什么？何時？
Joey: I don't know!
我不知道！
Hayley: I really, really think I would remember sleeping with you.
我真的、真的認(rèn)為如果有我會記得的。
Joey: Come on, come on, search your brain. All right. it was...a certain amount of time ago, ok, I was here, you were here, we had sex here, here, here, not there. Anything?
快點，快點，仔細(xì)回想，好嗎？那就在……之前某個時候，我在這里，你在這里，我們在這里，這里，這里，沒有那里，嘿咻。想起來了嗎？
Hayley: No, it's not ringing any bells.
沒，一點印象也沒有。
Joey: My God, woman! How many people do you have to have been with not to remember any of this?
天啊，女人！你跟多少人上過床讓你根本不記得我？
Joey:Hayley's roommate: Hey Hayley, you've really gotta fix that doorknob. Joey? !
嘿，海莉，我們真的要修理那個門把了。喬伊？
Joey: Oooooh, I slept with you!
我跟你上過床！
Joey:And you obviously remember me.
而且很明顯的你記得我。
Joey:Hey! I still got it. So we're good. I'll let myself out.
嘿，表示我還不賴！所以我們還好嘛。我自己出去。
Phoebe: and I-I said, ok, Vicrum, you can't just call every time you get lonely, you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
然后我說，偉軟……你不能每次寂寞就打電話給我，在你跟瑞秋上床之后你就沒有那個權(quán)力了。
Mike: But Rachel, I thought she just had a baby with Ross.
瑞秋？我以為她才剛生下羅斯的小孩。
Phoebe: Yeah, well yeah, you know, but Emma's birth certificate might say Geller but her eyes say Mookurgee.
是啊，嗯……是啊，艾瑪?shù)某錾C明上或許生父是羅斯，但是她長得像偉軟。
Mike: That is so wrong and on top of that he's a glue sniffer?
這實在太糟了，而且他還吸強(qiáng)力膠？
Phoebe: I know but he calls and my heart goes to him.
我知道，但是他打來時我的心就飛向他了。
Phoebe:You know that bastard is one smooth-talking freelance kite designer.
你知道的，那個渾蛋是個很會說話的風(fēng)箏設(shè)計師。
Mike: If you want, you know, I'll mess him up for you.
如果你要的話，我可以幫你修理他。
Phoebe: You would do that?
真的嗎？
Mike: Yeah! Unless he's big. I mean, if he's really big, I'll send the bum... a rude letter.
除非他很大只。如果他真的很大只，我會給他一封信，罵死他。
Mike:I just, I think there's somebody better out there for you, I mean you know, I'm not saying me, but... maybe me.
我想有更好的人在等著你，我是說，你知道的，我…… 我不是指我，但是……或許是我。
Phoebe: Oh.
哦。
Mike: And you don't have to worry about glue sniffing with me.
而且你不用擔(dān)心我會吸強(qiáng)力膠。
Mike:Although I do smell the occasional magic marker, yeah. Ah anyway, I just, I think I can make you happy.
雖然有時候我會聞麥克筆的味道，是啊，反正，我只是……我想我可以讓你快樂。
Phoebe: OK I can't do this.
好了，我辦不到。
Mike: What's wrong?
怎么了？
Phoebe: Well, there is no Vicrum, Ross made him up because I-I really never have been in a long-term relationship, I've never, I've never lived with a guy, and I've never even celebrated an anniversary so...
根本沒有偉軟這個人，羅斯亂扯的，因為我……我從未有過愛情長跑，我從未跟男人同居過，從來沒有慶祝交往一周年，所以……
Phoebe:you know if that's, that's too weird for you and-and you wanna leave I totally understand. In fact I'll-I'll close my eyes, make it less awkward.
如果這對你而言太奇怪……所以你想現(xiàn)在就走人我可以理解。事實上，我要閉上雙眼，讓這一切不至于太尷尬。
Phoebe:You kissed me.
你親了我。
Mike: Uh huh.
嗯。
Phoebe: So you don't think I'm a total freak.
你不認(rèn)為我是怪人嗎？
Mike: No. Well...look, can I, can I think you're a little weird and also cool for telling me the truth and also wanna kiss you?
不。那么……那，我可不……我可不可以認(rèn)為你有點怪，但又有點酷……因為你告訴我事情的真相，而且讓我想親你？
Phoebe: I guess so, can I, can I think it's cool that you kiss me and also wanna kiss you again? And umm, be a little concerned about the magic markers?
我想應(yīng)該可以，我可不可以認(rèn)為，你親我真是很酷，而且我想要親回去？有一點擔(dān)心奇異筆的事可以嗎？
Mike: Definitely.
當(dāng)然可以。
Ross: This is Vicrum. I need to talk to you about the long-term relationship we had. Call me. I am in my kite-making studio.
我是偉軟。我需要跟你談我們之間那段長期的戀情。回電給我，我在我的風(fēng)箏工作室。
Chandler: Hi honey, I'm home.
嗨，親愛的，我回來了。
Monica: Hey, how was your flight?
嗨，旅途還好嗎？
Chandler: Oh, It was great. I ordered a pool float from the Sky Mall.
不錯，我從飛機(jī)上的購物目錄訂了浮板。
Chandler: Why'd I do that?
為什么我要訂呢？
Monica: Why don't you sit down. Get yourself comfortable. Because I have a little surprise for you.
過來坐下吧。放輕松、舒服點。因為我有個小……驚喜要給你。
Chandler: Well, well, well. It must be 5:00 in Tulsa because it's "sex o'clock" in N.Y.C. !
哦，哦，哦。土爾沙現(xiàn)在一定是五點因為紐約現(xiàn)在是“六”點(音近性)！
Monica: OK.This is how much I love you.
好了，這代表我有多愛你。
Monica:The great white...
大白鯊……
Chandler: Honey, why am I watching a bunch of sharks swimming around?
親愛的？為什么要我看一群鯊魚游來游去呢？
Monica: Is this, is this not the good part? Do you want me to fast forward to something toothier?
這不是……這不是你愛看的嗎？要我快轉(zhuǎn)嗎？轉(zhuǎn)到露齒……比較多的地方嗎？
Chandler: No, I'm-I'm just not sure that you got the right movie, that's all.
不，我只是想確定你是不是拿錯了錄影帶。
Monica: Oh, this is the only one they had at our video store, but they did have something called crocodile killers. Or does it always have to be sharks?
錄影帶店里只有這一卷，不過他們倒是有一部叫“鱷魚殺手”的。還是說，你非要鯊魚不可呢？
Chandler: Does what always have to be sharks?
為什么我非要鯊魚不可？
Monica: Honey, look, we can do something else, do you want me to get into the tub and thrash?
聽著，我們可以來點別的，你要我到浴缸里……再用力扭嗎？
Chandler: What's going on?
到底是怎么回事？
Monica: Sweetie it's OK, it's OK, I still love you, let me be a part of this.
沒關(guān)系，沒關(guān)系的，我還是愛你的，讓我了解這一切。
Chandler: Let me be a part of this!
是你應(yīng)該讓我了解這一切！
Monica: I saw what you were doing in Tulsa. Angry sharks turn you on!
我看到你在土爾沙做的事。憤怒的鯊魚讓你“性”奮！
Chandler: No they don't.
不，并沒有。
Monica: Then why were you watching them and giving yourself a treat?
那為什么你一邊看著它們一邊自己玩呢？
Chandler: Oh my God! When you came in, I switched the channel, I was just watching regular porn!
哦，天啊！當(dāng)你一進(jìn)來我就轉(zhuǎn)臺了，我本來只是在看一般的色情片。
Monica: Really?
真的嗎？
Chandler: Yes, just some good old-fashioned American girl-on-girl action.
是的，只不過是一些正常老套、美式的女對女動作片。
Monica: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me!
這件事真是讓我太高興了！
Chandler: You are an amazing wife.
你是個不可思議的老婆。
Chandler:No really, you're amazing! I mean, you were actually gonna do this for me? I mean, where do you find the strength and understanding over something like that?
真的，太不可思議了！你真的愿意為我這樣做？你是怎么會有這樣的意志跟諒解呢？
Monica: I'm very, very drunk right now.
因為我現(xiàn)在非常、非常地醉。
Joey: See, ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken...did I sleep with her? did I not sleep with her?
通常我會去跟她搭汕的，但是我的自信已經(jīng)動搖了……我有跟她上床嗎？我沒有跟她上床嗎？
Phoebe: You know, maybe this is a wake-up call, you know, about-about your whole dating attitude.
或許該是你反省的時候了，檢討你的整個約會態(tài)度。
Phoebe:You're in your 30's and you have never been in a long-term relationship, you know you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience, never even worrying that it doesn't turn into something more serious?
你已經(jīng)三十好幾了，沒有談過一個長期的戀愛女人，從一個換到另一個……沒有意義的關(guān)系換到另一個沒有意義的關(guān)系，從不擔(dān)心這些戀情都沒有任何的發(fā)展。
Joey: You're right! I love my life!
你說的沒錯！我愛死我的人生了！
Joey:Actually did sleep with her.
事實上我跟她上過床了。
