I remember thinking at the time

我總是一直在想

that so many of the men that I admired most

我所欣賞的大部分人

that their lives were dedicated to something greater than themselves.

他們都為某些事情做出了犧牲

So you got married because men you admired were married?

所以你結婚是因為你欣賞的人都結婚了？

No, no. It's more like I had this-- This idea of my best self, you know?

不，不，是我的主意?

And I wanted to pursue that

我想做個高尚的人

even if it might have been overriding my honest self.

即使不是自己的真實愿望

You know what I'm saying?

你知道我在說什么嗎?

In the moment, I remember thinking it didn't much matter, the who of it all.

那一刻，我覺得是誰并不重要

I mean, that nobody is gonna be everything to you

我的意思是說， 沒有一個人可以意味著全部

and that it's just the action of committing yourself

只是自己的一種承諾

you know, meeting your responsibilities, that matters.

自己應該負起的責任，這才是重要的

I mean, what is love, right, if it's not respect, trust, admiration?

就是說，愛難道不是尊重、信任、欽仰么?

And l-- I felt all those things.

所有這些我都感覺到了

Cut to the present, and I feel like I'm running a nursery

回到現實， 我感覺自己是和以前的愛人

with somebody I used to date, you know.

在開托兒所

I mean, I'm like a monk, you know.

就是說我感覺自己像修道士

I mean, I've had sex less than 1 0 times in the last four years.

我的意思是說這4年來我只有過不到10次性生活