Step #4: Then... stop talking!

第四步：然后……停止講話！

Bill Keith, 29, from Hudson, OH, has a knack for charming everyone around him. He says his secret is knowing when to stop yapping and start listening. “People aren’t used to having other people really listen to them, so that’s how I win a lot of people over,” he says. So whether he’s remarking about an old Madonna song that just came on the supermarket muzak (which is how he met his best friend) or asking someone at Starbucks which shaker has cocoa and which has cinnamon and whether really makes a difference, Keith opens the door to a chat and then shuts his mouth. His new acquaintance walks away feeling connected since Keith lavished on some personal attention.z

　　比爾·凱思（Bill Keith），29歲，來自俄亥俄州的哈德遜河流域，在將別人都吸引到自己身邊來，他有絕招。他說秘密就在于他知道什么時候該閉嘴，開始傾聽?！叭藗儾涣晳T叫別人傾聽自己說的話，那是我贏得很多的注意的關鍵，”他說道。所以不管他對商場里（在那里他遇到了自己最好的朋友）播放的麥當娜的一首老歌評論時還是在星巴克咖啡廳問別人哪個混合器里的是可可豆，哪個是肉桂，還問道它們中哪一個味道好一點。凱思為別人開啟了一扇談話之門，然后自己閉嘴。他新認識的人在和他談完話走開后感到他與凱思的心境是相同的，因為凱思給了他一些特別的注意。

How to practice it: Next time you start a conversation, make an effort to ask the person you’re chatting with at least three questions before making another observation of your own. That will get you in the groove of letting the other person open up to you... and it shows your level of appreciation for what someone else has to say. And when people feel appreciated, chances are, they’ll want to continue that conversation.

　　怎樣實行：下次在開始一段對話前，問正在與你談話的人三個問題，然后再發表你的另一個意見。那樣一來，你就處于有利地位，別人就會在你面前開口講話…… 同時也展示出你對別人要說的話的欣賞態度。然而一旦別人感覺自己被欣賞，機會就來了。他們會想要繼續跟你談話。