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3. Schedule Time For Each Other
If you were worried about killing spontaneous romance by scheduling time with your partner, you wouldn’t be reading this. For the rest of us with busy lives and hectic schedules, an exhausting Wednesday is easier to handle knowing that Thursday at 6pm we get a few hours with our best friend.
All that’s left is to actually be present with your partner during the focused time you have together. This, according to all voices heard in my less-than-scientific survey, is one of the hardest parts of any long-term relationship.
Dinner with kids at the table doesn’t count as real presence. Sitting on the couch while you both have laptops running in front of you doesn’t count either. In fact, most of the things we do as couples fall into the realm of proximity instead of true presence. A simple test (thanks, Debbie!) is to see if you need to get your partner’s attention before talking for them to hear what you say. If you do, they weren’t really there to begin with.
You’ll be tempted to use your regular time together as the time for you to angrily vent and argue. Don’t do it! This is your time to catch up with the person you love. If you can’t think of something wondrous and warm to say, chew on silence and just be. There’s something about focused presence with a loved one that helps troubles sink away just a bit. Make the most of your time together!
3、為對方排出時間
如果你擔心和你的愛人安排時間相處會扼殺隨意地浪漫，你不會閱讀這些。對剩下過著匆忙生活和繁忙行程的我們來說，一個精疲力盡的周三更容易掌控知道周四晚上6點我們會有一些時間與最好的朋友相處。
現在剩下的是實際與愛人在重點時間內共同度過的時間。根據我的不能稱為科學的調查中的聲音，這些，是所有長久愛情關系中最難的一部分。
與孩子在飯桌前吃晚飯不能算作真正的共處，你們一起坐在沙發上使用著筆記本電腦也不算真正的共處。事實上，大多數我們以情侶身份做的事掉進了以“接近”取代“真正”共處的范圍。一個簡單的測試（謝謝Debbie!)是，在對他們談話前看看是否你需要去引起愛人注意去傾聽你說的是什么。如果你需要的話，他們不是真的準備好 了。
你會被誘惑去使用經常一起的時間去發泄憤怒和爭吵。不要這么做！這是你用來迷住你愛的那個人的時間。如果你不能想到出色的、熱情的話去說，就僅僅仔細考慮。盡可能多的共處！
