SAT經典范文賞析

社區服務Community Service
Amanda M. A final illustration of the notion that plans may go wrong is seen through my experience in my community service group. Last spring I was head of the entertainment and activities committee in the Moraga Youth Involvement Committee. We decided that it would be fun to plan a movie night featuring, The Incredibles, in the Moraga Commons Park on a weekend in late May. As a group we began planning the event early March gathering donations for the concession stand, finding a projection screen and sound system, and making sure that our event was publicized well to gather a promising crowd. Everything was in order and ready to go the day of the event when my commissioner received a phone call from an employee from Disney. The Disney employee explained that in order to show a film produced by Disney we needed to sign a $500 release form two weeks prior to the event. Unfortunately we had been unaware of the form and were forced to cancel the event. Even though we were certain that the event was a sure success, we skipped a very important detail in order to make the night become a reality.

點評：Amanda在本段中討論的是現實世界中的經濟問題，有很多令人印象深刻的細節。句子結構很豐富，過渡詞用得也很巧妙。我喜歡她一開始用“我”，然后迅速擴展成了“我們”，這樣就把一段個人經歷的含義擴大了。