SAT經典范文賞析

Eminem
Peter J. Another example of this universal truth is shown through the story of Eminem.Throughout his life Marshall Mathers had been discriminated against,growing up in a town where he was the only white kid on the block.Furthermore Eminem aspired to be a famous rapper.Finally after a year of being addicted to cocaine Marshall found the key to his success.Since he could't be like all other black rappers,he used a combination of his creativity and anger to create some of the most influential rap lyrics in the history of the concept.In 1995,he released his first album the Slim Shady LP which was a huge hit.When later asked about the key to his success he said that he all he did was kept his head high and believed that he could achieve his goal eventually.

點評：
為了文章的豐富性，Peter 在中間加上了一個白人說唱家，只有這樣才是最合適的了。大量精美的從句和過渡出現在段落中。該段句子結構多樣化，除了開頭外，沒有一句話是以主語開頭的。如”Throughout...Furthermore...Finally...Since...In...When”，語法豐富，用詞優美流暢。