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"Me? Don't even ask." She laughed, as she reeled off a line from a model revolutionary play. Then she stamped down the earth that I had shoveled in. "Eight years: I married twice and divorced twice. That was about it. Luckily there weren't any children."
“‘八年啦，別提啦！’”她笑著，學(xué)了一句革命樣板戲《智取威虎山》里的唱詞。隨后，兩腳倒著把我埋下的土踩瓷實，眼睛看著地面說，“這八年，結(jié)了兩次婚，離了兩次婚，就這些。幸虧沒生娃娃。”
I kept on working, not at all surprised. I had seen too much, and heard too much. In the end, there was very little that I could not imagine. If she didn't get along that way, how was she to live? Good fortune was a kind of miracle, misfortune was the norm. She, in turn, felt no surprise at my own experience. In that respect we both totally understood each other. Her lack of any commiseration was fine—through the years, I had come to dislike the simpering sympathy of other people.
我不停地干著活，一點也不驚奇。我看見、聽見的出乎意料的事太多了，到后來，竟沒有一件事能出乎我的意料。她不那樣生活還能怎樣生活？幸福是一種奇跡，不幸才是常規(guī)。她對我的坎坷也沒有感到驚奇。這樣，我們倒是真正地相互理解了。她不說那些安慰的話語也好，這些年，我最怕那種老太婆式的絮絮叨叨的同情。
"You've been in jail twice over these years, well, don't laugh, I've been married twice. Comes to the same thing. At times, I think jail must be easier to take than marriage. The first time, I didn't tell him I'd been in the camps, and I lived in fear that he would find out. When he eventually did, he asked for a divorce. The second time, at the White Sands Commune, I told him all about my past from the very start. After that, he was always bringing it up again holding it against me. In the end I couldn't take it, and I asked him for a divorce. First time, he didn't want me; second time, I didn't want him. One to one, even! So that's life, I'm not getting married again."
“你別笑話，”她接著說，“你蹲了兩次監(jiān)獄，我結(jié)了兩次婚，其實結(jié)婚跟蹲監(jiān)獄一樣，有的時候比蹲監(jiān)獄還要難受。前一次，我沒告訴他我勞改過，成天提心吊膽的，怕他知道了。可他還是知道了，跟我打了離婚。后一次，在白銀灘農(nóng)場，我一開始就跟他說清楚了，可他老把這事拿捏我，我受不了，跟他打了離婚。前一次是人家不要我，后一次是我不要人家，一比一，平了！唉，人一輩子就是這么回事。我以后再不結(jié)婚了！”
"That's easy enough. If you don't want to marry, you don't have to. But me, if I don't want to go to jail it isn't my decision." I teased her, "Marriage is up to you, jail's not up to me. You've been a lot better than I have."
“你打定主意再不結(jié)婚容易辦到，我打定主意再不蹲監(jiān)獄可不容易。”我笑著和她打趣。“結(jié)不結(jié)婚由你，蹲不蹲監(jiān)獄可不由我。這么說來，你還是比我強。”
From the start we spoke to each other like old friends. There are all kinds of patterns in friendship. With some, you find it natural to be close from the beginning, with others it takes some time before the wheel engage. If the gears don't mesh, the thing does not go at all. We both ignored the hardships of the other, because we had encountered enough in our own lives. At the same time, we understood each other, because although the form of suffering we each had endured was different the essence of what we had felt was the same.
我們一見面就像老朋友似地嘻嘻哈哈，無拘無束。友誼的關(guān)系有各種各樣的格局，有的格局是一見面就自然地很親切，有的是必須在一段時間里逐漸嚙合好齒輪，如果嚙合不到一起便不能運轉(zhuǎn)，我們都無視對方的痛苦，因為我們各自的遭遇就夠自己心煩的了。但我們卻能真正地同情對方，因為我們都親身經(jīng)歷過那種痛苦，雖然在形式上不同——蹲監(jiān)獄和結(jié)婚二者雖有區(qū)別，但感覺的實質(zhì)和程度是一樣的。
