praying. I remember her most often at prayer. She made long, rambling prayers out of suffering and hope, having seen many things. I was never sure that I had the right to hear, so exclusive were they of all mere custom and company. The last time I saw her she prayed standing by the side of her bed at night, naked to the waist, the light of a kerosene lamp moving upon her dark skin. Her long, black hair, always drawn and braided in the day, lay upon her shoulders and against her breasts like a shawl. I do not speak Kiowa, and I never understood her prayers, but there was something inherently sad in the sound, some merest hesitation upon the syllables of sorrow. She began in a high and descending pitch, exhausting her breath to silence; then again and again—and always the same intensity of effort, of something that is, and is not, like urgency in the human voice. Transported so in the dancing light among the shadows of her room, she seemed beyond the reach of time. But that was illusion; I think I knew then that I should not see her again.
我記憶最多的就是祈禱中的她。由于一生中見過太多事情而產(chǎn)生了痛苦和希望的情緒,于是她總是做長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的、不連貫的禱吿。我從不確定我有權(quán)利聽她禱告,這些禱告從不按照那些純粹的習(xí)俗進(jìn)行。我最后一次見到她是在一個(gè)晚上,她正站在床邊禱告,上身赤裸,煤油燈光在她黝黑的皮膚上晃動(dòng)。她那白天里總是攏起或編成辮子的長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的黑發(fā)如今像披肩一樣散落在肩膀上,垂在胸前。我不會(huì)說克爾瓦語,因此從來也聽不懂她的禱告,但是我能聽出她的聲音里固有的悲傷和悲傷的音節(jié)中流露的某種遲疑。她以一種高亢的、逐漸遞減的聲調(diào)開始,竭盡全身力氣,直到最后減不出聲音來;然后一次又一次——總是用同樣強(qiáng)烈的力度,有時(shí)像有時(shí)又不像人類聲音中急促的感覺。她對(duì)房間陰影里眺躍的燈光欣喜若狂,她看起來已經(jīng)擺脫了時(shí)間的控制。但是那只是幻覺,那時(shí)我就知道我不會(huì)再見到她了。
Houses are like sentinels in the plain, old keepers of the weather watch. There, in a very little while, wood takes on the appearance of great age. All colors wear soon away in the wind and rain, and then the wood is burned gray and the grain appears and the nails turn red with rust. The windowpanes are black and opaque; you imagine there is nothing within, and indeed there are many ghosts, bones given up to the land. They stand here and there against the sky, and you approach them for a longer time than you expect. They belong in the distance; it is their domain.
房屋就像平原上的哨兵,是監(jiān)測(cè)天氣的古老的守衛(wèi)者。在那里,在很短的時(shí)間里樹木就會(huì)顯得老態(tài)龍鐘。所有的顏色不久就會(huì)在風(fēng)雨的洗禮中褪掉,然后樹木被烤成灰色,出現(xiàn)粗糙的紋理,釘子由于生銹而變紅。窗戶玻璃黑暗不透光;你會(huì)想象窗戶里面什么都沒有,但是其實(shí)有許多魔鬼和埋于地下的尸骨。他們站在各個(gè)地方擋住天空,你接近他們所用的時(shí)間比你想象的要長(zhǎng)。他們屬于遠(yuǎn)方,那是他們的領(lǐng)地。