評(píng)論
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Different ways of speaking are part of gender. As adults, men and women sometimes face difficulties in their communication with each other. Studies of communication show that if a woman tells her husband about a problem, she will expect him to listen and offer sympathy. She may be annoyed when he simply tells her how to solve the problem. Similarly, a husband may be annoyed when his wife wants to stop and ask a stranger for directions to a park or restaurant. Unlike his wife, he would rather use a map and find his way by himself.
不同的說(shuō)話方式是社會(huì)性別差異的表現(xiàn)之一。作為成年人，男人和女人有時(shí)還會(huì)陷人彼此間無(wú)法交流的困境。人際交流方面的研究表明，如果一位女人向丈夫訴說(shuō)某個(gè)問題時(shí)，她希望對(duì)方傾聽并給予同情。丈夫如果直截了當(dāng)?shù)靥岢鼋鉀Q問題的方法，妻子可能會(huì)很生氣。同樣，妻子停下來(lái)向陌生人詢問去公園或飯店的路時(shí)，丈夫也會(huì)感到不快。他寧愿自己用地圖確定方向，也不會(huì)像妻子那樣問路。
Language is also part of the different ways that men and women think about friendship. Most North American men believe that friendship means doing things together such as camping or playing tennis. Talking is not an important part of friendship for most of them. American women, on the other hand, usually identify their best friend as someone with whom they talk frequently. Tannen believes that for women, talking with friends and agreeing with them is very important. Tannen has found that women, in contrast to men, often use tag questions. For example, a woman might say, "This is a great restaurant, isn't it?" By adding a tag question to her speech ("isn't it?"), she is giving other people a chance to agree with her. Likewise, many women use more polite forms ― "Can you close the door?" "Could you help me?" "Would you come here?" Men, however, often speak more directly, giving direct commands ― "Close the door." "Help me." "Come here."
語(yǔ)言使用上的差異還體現(xiàn)在男性和女性對(duì)友誼的看法上。大多數(shù)北美男性認(rèn)為友誼就是合作共事，比如一起野營(yíng)或者打網(wǎng)球。他們大多都認(rèn)為聊天并不是友誼的重要組成部分。而美國(guó)女性卻往往把經(jīng)常在一起聊天的人視為最好的朋友。坦嫩認(rèn)為，對(duì)女性而言，跟朋友聊天并獲得共鳴是非常重要的。坦嫩還發(fā)現(xiàn)，女性經(jīng)常使用附加疑問句，這一點(diǎn)與男性截然不同。比如，女性可能說(shuō)：“這家餐館很棒，對(duì)吧？”通過一個(gè)附加疑問句（“對(duì)吧？”），以獲得別人的認(rèn)可。同樣，很多女性使用更為禮貌的句式——“你能關(guān)上門嗎？”，“你能幫助我嗎？”，“你能來(lái)這里嗎？”然而，男性的語(yǔ)氣通常更為直接，帶有命令的口氣——“關(guān)上門?！保皫蛶臀摇！?，“到這里來(lái)?！?/div>
These differences seem to be part of growing up in the culture of the United States and following its rules of gender. If men and women can understand that many of their differences are cultural, not personal, they may be able to improve their relationships. They may begin to understand that because of gender differences in language, there is more than one way to communicate.
這些差異似乎是在伴隨著人們?cè)诿绹?guó)文化中的成長(zhǎng)，也是遵循其性別規(guī)則的結(jié)果。許多性別差異是由文化造成的，而非個(gè)人的原因所致。如果男性與女性都清楚這一點(diǎn)，兩性之間的關(guān)系可能會(huì)得到改善。他們會(huì)逐漸明白，正是由于在語(yǔ)言層面存在性別差異，兩性之間交流的方式自然不止一種。
