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Tannen has found that these differences are reflected in the ways that children use language while they play. Boys often use commands when they talk to each other. For instance, when Tommy is captain he might say, "You go first. Don't wait for me." As the leader of the other boys, he tells them exactly what to do. But when Joy wants to influence her friends, she uses different forms of language. Instead of using commands, she will say, "Let's try it this way. Let's do this." This is how she tries to direct the other girls without sounding bossy. By using the form "let's," she also emphasizes the fact that the girls all belong to the same group.
坦嫩發(fā)現(xiàn)，這些差異表現(xiàn)在孩子玩耍時使用的語言上。男孩習(xí)慣用命令的口氣交談。例如，擔(dān)任隊長的湯米會說：“你先來。不要等我。”作為領(lǐng)頭人，他明確告訴其他男孩該做什么。可是當喬伊想影響她的朋友時，卻用不同的語言形式。她不會用命令的口氣，而會這樣說：“讓我們來試試這個辦法。我們一起這樣做。”這就是她讓其他女孩聽從自己安排的說話方式，聽起來就沒有發(fā)號施令的意味了。使用“讓我們來……”這種表達方式，還可以強化女孩們的群體歸屬感。
As Joy and Tommy grow up, they will continue to speak differently. In junior high school, Joy's status will depend on her circle of friends. If her friends are popular, then Joy may enjoy high status at school. For this reason, Joy and many other girls are interested in gossip. If Joy has some information to share about a popular girl at school, this proves that she has a friendship with this girl. In this way Joy can use gossip to gain more status in her school.
隨著喬伊和湯米逐漸長大，他們的說話方式也日漸不同。在上初中時，喬伊的人氣來自她的朋友圈。如果她的朋友很受歡迎，那么喬伊在學(xué)校也會更有人氣。因此，喬伊和其他女孩們都喜歡八卦。如果喬伊和朋友分享了學(xué)校里一個頗受歡迎的女孩的八卦新聞，那說明她跟那個女孩很有交情。如此一來，喬伊就可以通過傳播八卦新聞的方式來提升人氣。
Tommy, on the other hand, may be less interested in gossip. His status does not depend on who his friends are at school. Tommy gains status through his own ability to play sports well or earn high grades. Later in life, Joy may continue to be interested in talking about other people and their lives. Tommy will be less interested in personal talk and more concerned with discussions of sports and news. These give him a chance to gain status by showing others his knowledge.
湯米對八卦卻不怎么感興趣。他在學(xué)校的地位并不靠朋友圈。湯米憑借自己的體育運動能力或優(yōu)異的學(xué)習(xí)成績贏得人氣。成年后，喬伊可能仍然喜歡議論身邊的人和他們的生活。但湯米會對私密的交談不太感興趣，而會更關(guān)注體育和時事。這些能讓他有機會展現(xiàn)自己的學(xué)識，為自己贏得人氣。
