v. 減輕,救濟,解除
您現在的位置: 首頁 > 英語四級 > 英語四級作文 > 英語四級作文綜合輔導 > 正文
夏老師的點評
這篇作文寫得比較好,內容豐富,說理清楚,作者詞匯量比較大,表達也比較自如。不足的是文章組織不夠縝密,有些地方連貫性不夠理想。少數地方句子結構有錯,用詞不確切,詞語搭配不當,說明文字的基本功考(試大還不夠扎實。另外,如果作為考試,文章的篇幅過長。建議考試時不要超過200詞,剩下一點時間用于加工修改,以取得更好的成績。下面是幾點具體的修改建議,供習作者參考。
1. 第一段第三句中的 entertainment plays a major role in our daily lives 建議改為entertainment plays an important role in our daily lives。Major 雖有“重要的(important)”的意思,但其基本意思是“主要的(main, principal)”,用在這里在意思上有一點過了。
2. 第一段第四句中的 …covering from online computer games to lovely picnics, aiming at meeting the needs of all different groups 應改為 …– from online computer games to lovely picnics – that meet the needs of different groups of people。這里covering 是多余的,另外,語法有錯,因為cover是接物動詞,后面應接直接賓語。aiming at meeting 改為that meet更為直截了當。還有,different groups意思不清楚,加上of people意思就明確了。
3. 第二段第二句It can help us relax, have fun, divert ourselves from stress, etc. 宜改為 It can help us relax, have fun, and relieve stress. 原句語法沒有錯,但改過后,讀起來節奏感更強,去掉etc.也使文章更為簡潔有力。
4. 第二段第三句 I believe there is no better a thing than just relaxing and enjoying your favorite amusement when you’re free or stressed. 建議改為 In fact, I believe there is no better way to get exercise and relieve stress than to take an active part in recreational activities。原句中的there is no better a thing語法有錯,不定冠詞“a” 應去掉。從內容上講,改過后,更加確切。
5. 第二段倒數第三句 it may also waste us a lot of time, thereby being just the opposite of what we really want建議改為 it will numb our mind and destroy our creativity, which is exactly the opposite of what we really want。which使文章的意思更好理解。
6. 第二段最后一句中的watching TV also has its advantages and disadvantages. 應改為and watching TV is no exception,使句子更簡潔。
7. 第三段第二句和第三句After all, a proper balance between work and rest is the best. But this doesn’t mean we can choose whatever we like.建議改為But this doesn’t mean we can take up whatever recreational activities are available. Instead, we should strike a balance between work and rest。原句語法上沒有錯,但是內容組織得不好,句子間的連貫性差。
8. 第三段最后一句I believe in this case only, entertainment can bring its functions into full play and we can also truly understand the essence of life建議改為I believe moderate recreational activities will benefit us in many ways and help us live a full meaningful life。原句語法上沒有錯,但是this case不知所指,entertainment can bring its functions into full play這個句子內在邏輯上也有問題。
重點單詞 | 查看全部解釋 | |||
relieve | [ri'li:v] |
想一想再看 |
聯想記憶 | |
consequently | ['kɔnsikwəntli] |
想一想再看 adv. 所以,因此 |
||
absolutely | ['æbsəlu:tli] |
想一想再看 adv. 絕對地,完全地;獨立地 |
||
range | [reindʒ] |
想一想再看 n. 范圍,行列,射程,山脈,一系列 |
||
competitive | [kəm'petitiv] |
想一想再看 adj. 競爭的,比賽的 |
聯想記憶 | |
outline | ['əutlain] |
想一想再看 n. 輪廓,大綱 |
聯想記憶 | |
judgment | ['dʒʌdʒmənt] |
想一想再看 n. 裁判,宣告,該判決書 |
聯想記憶 | |
refresh | [ri'freʃ] |
想一想再看 v. 使 ... 生氣蓬勃,提起精神,恢復精神 |
||
moderate | ['mɔdəreit,'mɔdərit] |
想一想再看 adj. 適度的,穩健的,溫和的,中等的 |
聯想記憶 | |
entertainment | [.entə'teinmənt] |
想一想再看 n. 娛樂 |
聯想記憶 |

- 閱讀本文的人還閱讀了: