評論
打印
STRIFE.
爭吵
Monday, 26th.
周一，二十六日。
However, it is not out of envy, because he got the prize and I did not, that I quarrelled with Coretti this morning. It was not out of envy. But I was in the wrong. The teacher had placed him beside me, and I was writing in my copy-book for calligraphy; he jogged my elbow and made me blot and soil the monthly story, _Blood of Romagna_, which I was to copy for the little mason, who is ill. I got angry, and said a rude word to him. He replied, with a smile, "I did not do it intentionally." I should have believed him, because I know him; but it displeased me that he should smile, and I thought:--
今天我和可萊諦相罵，并不是因為他受了獎品而嫉妒他，只是我的過失。我坐在他的近旁，正謄寫這次每月例話《洛馬格那的血》，——因為“小石匠”病了，我替他謄寫。——他碰了一下我的臂膀，墨水把紙弄污了。我罵了他，他卻微笑著說：“我不是故意如此的羅。”我是知道他的品格的，照理應該信任他，不再與他計較。可是他的微笑實在使我不快，我想：
"Oh! now that he has had a prize, he has grown saucy!" and a little while afterwards, to revenge myself, I gave him a jog which made him spoil his page. Then, all crimson with wrath, "You did that on purpose," he said to me, and raised his hand: the teacher saw it; he drew it back. But he added:--
“這家伙受了獎品，就像煞有介事了哩！”于是忍不住也在他的臂膀上撞了一下，把他的習字帖也弄污了。可萊諦漲紅了臉：“你是故意的！”說著擎起手來。恰巧先生把頭回過來了，他縮住了手，
"I shall wait for you outside!" I felt ill at ease; my wrath had simmered away; I repented. No; Coretti could not have done it intentionally. He is good, I thought. I recalled how I had seen him in his own home; how he had worked and helped his sick mother; and then how heartily he had been welcomed in my house; and how he had pleased my father. What would I not have given not to have said that word to him; not to have insulted him thus! And I thought of the advice that my father had given to me: "Have you done wrong?"--"Yes."--"Then beg his pardon." But this I did not dare to do; I was ashamed to humiliate myself. I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, and I saw his coat ripped on the shoulder,--perhaps because he had carried too much wood,--and I felt that I loved him; and I said to myself, "Courage!" But the words, "excuse me," stuck in my throat. He looked at me askance from time to time, and he seemed to me to be more grieved than angry. But at such times I looked malevolently at him, to show him that I was not afraid.
“我在外面等著你！”我難過了起來，怒氣消了，覺得實在是自己不好。可萊諦不會故意做那樣的事的，他本是好人。同時記起自己到可萊諦家里去望過他，把可萊諦在家勞動，服侍母親的病的情形，以及他到我家里來的時候大家歡迎他，父親看重他的事情，都一一記憶起來。自己想：我不說那樣的話，不做那樣對不住人的事，多么好啊！又想到父親平日教訓我的話來：“你覺得錯了，就立刻謝罪！”可是謝罪總有些不情愿，覺得那樣屈辱的事，無論如何是做不到的。我把眼睛向可萊諦橫去，見他上衣的肩部已破了，大概是多背了柴的緣故吧。我見了這個，覺得可萊諦可愛。自己對自己說：“漸呀！謝罪吧！”但是口里總說不出“對你不起”的話來。可萊諦時時把眼斜過來看我，他那神情好像不是怒惱我，倒似在憐憫我呢。但是我因為要表示不怕他，仍用白眼回答他。
