My duty will be to develop these germs: surely I shall find some happiness in discharging that office.
我的職責(zé)是幫助這些萌芽成長,當(dāng)然在盡責(zé)時我能獲得某種愉快。
Much enjoyment I do not expect in the life opening before me:
但我并不期望從展現(xiàn)在我面前的生活中嘗到多大樂趣。
yet it will, doubtless, if I regulate my mind, and exert my powers as I ought, yield me enough to live on from day to day.
不過無疑要是我調(diào)節(jié)自己的心態(tài),盡力去做,它也會給我以足夠的酬報,讓我一天天生活下去。
Was I very gleeful, settled, content, during the hours I passed in yonder bare, humble schoolroom this morning and afternoon?
今天上午和下午我在那邊四壁空空、簡陋不堪的教室里度過的幾小時,難道自己就快樂、安心、知足嗎,
Not to deceive myself, I must reply -- No: I felt desolate to a degree.
為了不自欺欺人,我得回答——沒有。我覺得有些孤寂。
I felt -- yes, idiot that I am -- I felt degraded.
我感到——是呀.自己真愚蠢——我感到有失身份。
I doubted I had taken a step which sank instead of raising me in the scale of social existence.
我對周圍見到和聽到的無知、貧窮和粗俗略微有點(diǎn)失望。
I was weakly dismayed at the ignorance, the poverty, the coarseness of all I heard and saw round me.
我懷疑我所跨出的一步不是提高而是降低了自己的社會地位。
But let me not hate and despise myself too much for these feelings;
但別讓我因?yàn)檫@些情感而痛恨和蔑視自己。
I know them to be wrong -- that is a great step gained; I shall strive to overcome them.
我知道這些情感是不對的——這是一大進(jìn)步。我要努力驅(qū)除這些情感。
To-morrow, I trust, I shall get the better of them partially;
我相信明天我將部分地戰(zhàn)勝它們;
and in a few weeks, perhaps, they will be quite subdued.
幾周之后或許完全征服它們;
In a few months, it is possible, the happiness of seeing progress,
幾個月后,我會高興地看到進(jìn)步,
and a change for the better in my scholars may substitute gratification for disgust.
看到學(xué)生們大有進(jìn)展,于是滿意就會取代厭惡了。
Meantime, let me ask myself one question-
同時,也讓我問自己一個問題