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So in ourselves we can focus on a reward on our effort, on our process,
我們自己也可以關注我們付出的努力 關注過程本身
whether it's failure or success. Active acceptance. It will always be part of us.
不管它是失敗還是成功 主動地去接受 它將永遠是我們的一部分
You know one of the things that perfectionist very often do
完美主義者經常會做的一件事
when they realize they are perfectionists, and that is hurting them:
當他們意識到自己是完美主義者時 這讓他們很難受
they apply the perfectionist approach to overcoming perfectionism
他們就用完美主義的方式來克服完美主義
which means, I will become perfect person who is committed to excellence.
也就是說 我會成為一個完美的追求卓越的人
That doesn't work. That's just more perfectionism.
這不會起作用的 只是更進一步的完美主義
But what active acceptance is about saying, "OK. So I'm not...
但主動的接受意味著 “好吧
So I'm still a perfectionist. I will always probably have part of it in me.
我仍舊是個完美主義者 我可能永遠都會有這方面的性格
And that's OK. And that's OK." One of the things that Buddhists
這沒關系 沒有關系” 佛教徒
talk about is that very often, our greatest challenges,
會說的一句話是 通常情況下我們面臨的最大挑戰
what Karen Horney would call "our neurosis"-whether it's perfectionism,
卡倫·霍妮會稱之為“神經官能癥” 不管是完美主義
the fear of failure, whether it's anger that comes up once in a while,
對失敗的恐懼 還是時不時出現的憤怒
anxiety, whatever it is that we have-that "issue".
焦慮 不管我們的問題是什么
The Buddhists cognitively reframe it and say, "we need to look at it as a tool,
佛教徒很巧妙地重新定義了它 “我們要將其視為一種工具
as a tool for growth, as a way of learning about ourselves,
一種成長的工具 一種了解自己的方式
digging deep inside ourselves and growing. "
使我們深入挖掘自己 然后得以成長”
So to look at it-OK, so this is an opportunity for growth, for personal learning,
要這樣看它 這是個成長的機會 了解自我
for reflection, for more empathy toward other people-whatever it is.
反省自身的機會 能夠更設身處地為別人著想的機會 無論它是什么
But to look at it as a tool. Accept it. And then act.
將其視為一種工具 接受它 然后行動
