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When people hear that my husband and I just celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary,
在人們得知我和丈夫剛剛慶祝了我們的結婚60周年紀念日后，
they inevitably ask us the secret to our long, successful marriage.
他們免不了要問我們婚姻長久成功的秘密是什么。
In response, my husband will smile sweetly, nod my way, and explain, "We both love me."
作為回應，我的丈夫會親切地笑著，朝我點點頭，然后解釋說：“我們兩個都愛我。”
My friend took her teenage daughter to a new doctor for a checkup.
我朋友帶她十幾歲的女兒去一個新醫生那里做檢查，
The nurse asked the usual questions, including if she had an STD. "No," said the teen. "We have a Toyota."
護士問了常規的問題，包括問她是否有性傳播疾病（雷諾的一款車型）。她女兒說：“沒有，我們有一輛豐田。”
One day, my physician father treated himself to a plate of raw oysters and offered to share them with me.
有一天，身為醫生的父親搞了一盤生蠔，并且主動提出要和我分享。
Just as I was about to dig in, he picked up an oyster, examined it, and commented, "They remind me of infected tonsils."
正當我要吃的時候，他拿起一個生蠔，檢查了一番，說道：“它們讓我想起了受感染的扁桃體。”
And that’s the story of how he ended up eating the entire plate of oysters himself.
這就是他如何自己吃完整盤生蠔的故事。
I accidentally threw away my four-year-old’s favorite candy wrapper. Please keep us both in your thoughts during this difficult time.
我不小心把我四歲孩子最喜歡的糖紙扔掉了。在這困難的時刻，請把我們都放在你的心里。
My 11-year-old takes his homework seriously. One question required him to write a sentence using the word version.
我11歲的兒子寫作業很認真。其中一個問題要求他用“version”這個詞寫一個句子。
His sentence: "Have you heard of the version Mary?"
他造的句子是：“瑪麗你聽說過版本這個詞嗎？”
I held a garage sale with my little blond cairn terrier for company. Soon came the first customer.
我和我的金發凱恩狗進行了一次車庫拍賣。很快，第一位顧客來了。
He took his time browsing and examining everything I had out for sale.
他不慌不忙地瀏覽和檢查我出售的每一樣東西。
Eventually he found something that interested him. "Excuse me," he said. "How much for the dog?"
最后他找到了令他感興趣的東西。“打擾一下，”他說。“這只狗多少錢？”
After my 91-year-old mother finished having her hair cut and shaped, the stylist announced, "There, now you look ten years younger."
在我91歲的母親剪好頭發后，發型師對她說：“瞧，你現在看起來年輕了10歲。”
My mother, unimpressed, replied, "Who wants to look 81 years old?"
我的母親無動于衷地回答說：“誰想看起來像81歲？”
