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Less than a year later LeClair met Sean Seward, a struggling actor, whom she persuaded to join the church.
不到一年之后，勒克萊爾遇到了肖恩·蘇厄德，一個(gè)正在上升時(shí)期的演員，她說(shuō)服他加入了教會(huì)。
Though she says she wasn't attracted to him, they got along well and wed in 1994.
雖然她說(shuō)她不喜歡他，但他們相處得很好，并于1994年結(jié)婚。
She began working as a regional manager at a non-Scientology-run life-insurance company, but even as her career took off and the couple had children, her marriage was foundering.
她開(kāi)始在一家非山達(dá)基教徒經(jīng)營(yíng)的人壽保險(xiǎn)公司擔(dān)任區(qū)域經(jīng)理，但就在她的事業(yè)起步并有了孩子的時(shí)候，她的婚姻卻在走下坡路。
Sean became increasingly aggressive and confrontational. Our arguments were mostly about money and sex.
肖恩變得越來(lái)越好斗，喜歡與人作對(duì)。我們的爭(zhēng)論主要是關(guān)于金錢和性。
He called me vile names: F---ing liar! Suppressive. B--ch. He threw things at me—pillows, keys.
他罵我卑鄙無(wú)恥：該死的騙子！強(qiáng)勢(shì)！婊子！他朝我扔?xùn)|西——枕頭、鑰匙。
But this good little Scientologist couldn't let anyone know how bad I was feeling.
但這位善良的山達(dá)基小教徒卻不能讓任何人知道我的感受有多糟糕。
I knew what my mom would say—what every Scientologist would say: "There are no such things as problems, just situations and solutions."
我知道我媽媽會(huì)說(shuō)什么——每一個(gè)山達(dá)基教徒都會(huì)說(shuō)：“沒(méi)有問(wèn)題，只有情況和解決方案。”
What are you withholding from Sean, Michelle? What have you done to cause this?
米歇爾，你對(duì)肖恩隱瞞了什么？你做了什么造成今天這個(gè)局面？
After running into the high school girlfriend with whom she'd had a dalliance, she confessed her past attraction to Seward, who reported it to the church.
在遇到和她有過(guò)一段風(fēng)流韻事的高中女友后，她向蘇厄德坦白了過(guò)去對(duì)她的愛(ài)慕之情，蘇厄德向教會(huì)報(bào)告了這件事。
I was ordered to walk the halls of the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood asking random members to read and sign my confession.
我奉命在好萊塢山達(dá)基名人中心的大廳里來(lái)回走動(dòng)，隨機(jī)邀請(qǐng)成員閱讀我的供詞并簽名。
I needed twenty-five signatures to be allowed to rejoin the church.
我需要25個(gè)簽名才能重新加入教會(huì)。
I was so mortified that, after ten or fifteen requests, I ran to the bathroom and sobbed.
我非常羞愧，在十到十五次請(qǐng)求之后，我跑到洗手間哭泣。
Her career, meanwhile, was reaching ever-greater heights: She became a top manager and producer at another life-insurance firm and was soon making "more money than I could spend."
與此同時(shí)，她的事業(yè)也達(dá)到了前所未有的高度：她成為了另一家人壽保險(xiǎn)公司的高級(jí)經(jīng)理兼執(zhí)行人，很快就賺到了“我花不完的錢”。
She donated large sums to the church (she estimates a total of $5 million) and was asked to head the church's foundation promoting the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights.
她向教會(huì)捐了一大筆錢(她估計(jì)總共捐了500萬(wàn)美元)，并受邀請(qǐng)領(lǐng)導(dǎo)教會(huì)的基金會(huì)，推廣聯(lián)合國(guó)世界人權(quán)宣言。
The church finally agreed to let her divorce Seward, but only, she says, after she threatened to withhold donations.
教會(huì)最終同意讓她與蘇厄德離婚，但也是在她威脅撤資之后。
Yet she remained committed to Scientology—until she struck up a friendship with an L.A. music producer named Tena Clark ("Charley" in the book).
然而，她仍然忠于山達(dá)基——直到她和洛杉磯的一位名叫特納·克拉克(Tena Clark)的音樂(lè)制作人(書中的“查理”)成為朋友。
My friendship with her began to break down some of my beliefs.
我和她的友誼開(kāi)始打破我的一些信仰。
The idea that the church would deny me a friendship with such a sterling person simply because she wasn't heterosexual or a Scientologist seemed ludicrous to me.
當(dāng)時(shí)認(rèn)為教會(huì)會(huì)因?yàn)樗皇钱愋詰倩蛏竭_(dá)基教教徒，不允許我與這個(gè)優(yōu)秀的人建立友誼，那個(gè)想法在我看來(lái)很可笑。
Gradually, the friendship blossomed into something more. She and Charley exchanged their first kiss while sitting in LeClair's car one day.
漸漸地，友誼發(fā)展出了別樣的東西。一天，兩個(gè)人坐在勒克萊爾的車?yán)铮粨Q了她們的初吻。
It was the most passionate, loving kiss I had ever experienced. I reached up and touched my lips. It was as though they had been awakened.
這是我經(jīng)歷過(guò)的最熱烈、最深情的一吻。我伸手摸了摸嘴唇。它們好像被喚醒了。
I talked myself into believing that, because I was a top donor, my relationship with a woman would be tolerated, or at least ignored.
我說(shuō)服自己相信，因?yàn)槲沂亲畲蟮木栀?zèng)者，我和一個(gè)女人戀愛(ài)會(huì)受到原諒，或者至少被忽視。
I couldn't have been more mistaken. My Scientology mentor outed me to the church Ethics Department. She decided to leave the church.
我大錯(cuò)特錯(cuò)了。我的山達(dá)基教導(dǎo)師讓我去了教會(huì)道德系。她決定離開(kāi)教會(huì)。
