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My Escape From Scientology
逃離山達基
She was wealthy and successful and gave millions to the church, but after she confessed to being gay and in love with a woman, she says, the controversial group waged a campaign to destroy her
她很有錢，也很成功，給教會捐了幾百萬，但是她承認自己是同性戀并愛上了一個女人之后，這個有爭議的組織發動了一場運動來摧毀她
Eight years ago Michelle LeClair, a mother of four living in los angeles, was earning millions of dollars a year as the founder of one of the nation's most successful woman-owned life-insurance firms—but her life was the opposite of picture-perfect.
八年前，身為四個孩子母親的米歇爾·勒克萊爾(Michelle LeClair)住在洛杉磯。她創辦了美國最成功的女性經營的人壽保險公司之一，每年能掙到數百萬美元。但是她的生活卻一點不完美。
The self-described "poster girl for Scientology" had fallen in love with a woman, and, she says, the controversial church did not approve.
這位自稱“山達基的海報女郎”的人愛上了一個女人，她說，這個有爭議的教會不贊成。
She claims that after she defected in 2010, the church waged a brutal campaign against her.
她表示在2010年脫離該組織后，教會對她進行了殘酷的打擊。
It's been a little more than a year since her nightmare ended, but she still pinches herself most mornings just to make sure.
從她的噩夢結束到現在已經一年多了，但她早上還是經常會掐自己的脖子，只是為了確認一下。
"When I open my eyes," she says, "I catch myself waiting for that heaviness to set in. Then I realize—nothing needs to set in. This is my reality now."
“每當我睜開眼睛，”她說，“我發現自己在等待那種沉重的感覺到來。然后我意識到——沒有什么需要到來。這就是現在的現實。”
In her new memoir Perfectly Clear, LeClair, 45, shares the story of her rise within Scientology, her dawning awareness (while married to a man) that she was a lesbian and the woman who helped her break free.
45歲的勒克萊爾在她的新回憶錄《非常清楚》中，講述了她在山達基教中的崛起，她(在嫁給一個男人時)開始意識到自己是女同性戀，以及幫助她掙脫束縛的女人。
"If I had not met Tena," she says of her partner, Tena Clark, "I'd still be in the church. She saved my life, my children's life. She woke me up."
“如果我沒有遇見特納，”她說到她的伴侶特納·克拉克，“我還會在教會里。她救了我的命，我孩子的命。她喚醒了我。”
Clark, 64, a successful music producer who knew nothing about Scientology before coming involved with LeClair in 2010, says she had her own awakening while watching LeClair lose everything.
現年64歲的克拉克是一位成功的音樂制作人，在2010年認識萊考爾之前，她對山達基一無所知。她說看著勒克萊爾失去一切，自己也在覺醒。
"I'd never heard of a religion like this that seemed so focused on hate and revenge," recalls Clark.
克拉克回憶道：“我從未聽說過這樣的宗教，如此專注于仇恨和復仇。”
"I stood beside her. It wasn't always easy, but that's what you do when you love someone."
“我支持她。這并不容易，但當你愛一個人的時候，你就會這么做。”
In 2015 the pair moved from Los Angeles to rural Georgia, where they now live with LeClair's children (Sage, 17, Savannah, 11, and twins Jadon and London, 9) from her first marriage.
2015年，兩人從洛杉磯搬到了喬治亞州的鄉村，現在還住在那里，和勒克萊爾第一次結婚時的孩子們(17歲的塞奇, 11歲的薩凡納，以及9歲的雙胞胎杰登和倫敦)住在一起。
Now that her years-long battle with Scientology is behind her, LeClair hopes it will prove to be about something bigger than herself.
現在，她與山達基教長達數年的斗爭已經過去，勒克萊爾希望這會是一件比她自己更重要的事情。
"If my story helps one person out there get out," she says, "then everything I endured was worth it."
“如果我的故事能幫助人走出困境，”她說，“那么我所忍受的一切都是值得的。”
In this exclusive excerpt from her memoir, she traces a journey that began when she was a teenager and her mother, Terri, found a new job.
這段引文摘錄自她的回憶錄，其中她回憶起，十幾歲時她的母親特里找到了一份新工作，從此開始一段旅程。
(The church disputes much of LeClair's account; its rebuttal also follows.)
(教會對勒克萊爾的說法提出了異議；其反駁在后文。)
Mom went to work as a consultant for a company called Sterling Management, where she sold management-training programs to health-care professionals.
母親在斯特林管理公司(Sterling Management)做顧問，向醫療專業人士推銷管理培訓項目。
She was also taking self-improvement courses. She adopted a strange unemotional way of speaking and began using expressions I didn't understand.
她也在學習自我提高的課程。她開始說話奇奇怪怪，不帶感情，開始使用我聽不懂的表達方式。
She was "hatting" (training) for a job. She wanted to improve her "beingness" (herself).
她正在為找工作進行“帽子訓練”。她想改善她的“存在”(自我)。
