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One day she came home with a pamphlet about a course she wanted my stepfather Steve to take.
有一天，她帶著一本小冊子回家，她想讓我的繼父史蒂夫上一門課。
Steve looked over the booklet. "This is Scientology!" he said. "A cult! I'm not going there. Are you out of your mind?"
史蒂夫把小冊子看了一遍。“這是山達基!”“這是狂熱崇拜！我不去那里。你瘋了嗎？”
What was going on was that Sterling Management was run by Scientologists and was a top recruiter for the church.
其實，斯特林管理是由山達基教徒管理的，是教會的高級擴員機構(gòu)。
My mother said she finally had a purpose—she was joining the fight to save humanity! Steve walked out.
媽媽說她終于有了目標(biāo)——她加入了拯救人類的戰(zhàn)斗！史蒂夫出走了。
After that, Mom fell deeper and deeper into the church. LeClair was involved in her own life, acing school and getting accepted at the American University of Paris.
從那以后，媽媽在這個教會里越陷越深。勒克萊爾忙于自己的生活，在學(xué)校成績優(yōu)異，被巴黎美國大學(xué)錄取。
That summer she took a job her mom had found for her at Sterling, selling management-training manuals.
那年夏天，她在斯特林做了一份媽媽為她找的工作，銷售管理培訓(xùn)手冊。
Then she had a near-fatal car accident that shook her to the core, and Scientology's teachings suddenly piqued her interest.
然后，她發(fā)生了一場幾乎致命的車禍，把她嚇得魂飛魄散，山達基的教義突然激起了她的興趣。
I knew little about Scientology except what I'd gleaned from my mother—that practitioners gained self-knowledge and spiritual fulfillment through training fashioned after founder L. Ron Hubbard's Dianetics self-help book.
我對山達基知之甚少，只從母親那里知道了一些——教徒們模仿創(chuàng)始人L.羅恩·哈伯德(L. Ron Hubbard)的《智力學(xué)》自助書籍的內(nèi)容進行訓(xùn)練，借此獲得自我認(rèn)識和精神滿足。
We were immortal beings with emotional baggage from our past incarnations.
我們是不朽的存有，帶著我們前世化身的情感包袱。
Through courses and the counseling sessions of "auditing," we could address those issues and achieve a superior state of spiritual enlightenment.
通過“旁聽”課程和咨詢，我們可以解決這些問題，達到一種更高的精神啟蒙狀態(tài)。
Only Scientologists, as evolved, superior beings, could save the planet.
只有山達基教徒這種經(jīng)過進化的高級生物，才能拯救地球。
As I began taking "auditing" sessions I finally understood what my mother had meant when she talked about a "higher purpose."
當(dāng)我開始參加“審計”課程時，我終于明白了我母親所說的“更高的目標(biāo)”是什么意思。
It made sense to me. LeClair put her college plans on hold.
這對我來說很有意義。勒克萊爾擱置了她的大學(xué)計劃。
She soon came to believe that no part of her life would be off limits to Scientology.
她很快就相信她生命中的任何部分都不會對山達基教有所保留。
"I want you to read this," the auditor said one day. It regarded homosexuality. Swallowing hard, I began reading.
“我想讓你讀讀這個，”一天審計員說。那是關(guān)于同性戀的。我忍氣吞聲，開始看書。
L. Ron Hubbard considered homosexuals and other "perverts" as "evil, untrustworthy, a criminal." My hands trembled.
L.羅恩·哈伯德認(rèn)為同性戀和其他“變態(tài)”是“邪惡的，不可信賴的，罪犯”。我的手在顫抖。
"Have you ever had homosexual thoughts?" she asked.
“你有過同性戀的想法嗎?”她問。
I realized the auditor must have been referring to my brief encounter with a classmate, which I'd confessed to another auditor.
我意識到審計員一定是指我與一位同學(xué)的短暫接觸，我向另一位審計員承認(rèn)了這一點。
"Yes," I said. "I had thoughts about a high school friend." "Thank you. Did you ever act on it?" "No," I said, telling a white lie. "I did not."
“是的,”我說。“我對一個高中朋友有想法。”“謝謝。你曾經(jīng)做過嗎？”“沒有，”我說，撒了個善意的謊，“我沒有。”
I'd just assumed all girls experimented with each other. I had known enough not to broadcast it—not because I thought I was gay; it just wasn't something you talked about.
我只是認(rèn)為所有的女孩都試過。我非常明白，不會到處說——不是因為我認(rèn)為我是同性戀；只是你從來沒聊到過。
The subject of dating came up during my sessions. Each time, I responded honestly that I couldn't find anyone I wanted to be with. I was told I was being too picky.
他們跟我談到約會。每次，我都誠實地回答說，我找不到一個想與其共度一生的人。他們說我太挑剔了。
