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Chapter 7 Don't Leave Before You Leave
第7章 不要“身還在，心已遠”
A few years ago, a young woman at Facebook came to my desk and asked if she could speak to me privately.
幾年前，臉譜網的一位年輕女員工走到我桌前，問我是否能私下和她談談。
We headed into a conference room, where she began firing off questions about how I balance work and family.
于是我們去了會議室，然后她一口氣兒問了我很多如何平衡工作和家庭的問題。
As the questions came faster and faster, I started to wonder about her urgency.
問題一個接一個，我開始對她的這種急切感到好奇。
I interrupted to ask if she had a child.
我打斷了她，詢問她是否有孩子。
She said no, but she liked to plan ahead.
她說沒有，但希望提前做好計劃。
I inquired if she and her partner were considering having a child.
我又問她和她的丈夫是否都在考慮要孩子的問題。
She replied that she did not have a husband, then added with a little laugh, "Actually, I don't even have a boyfriend."
她的回答是她還沒有丈夫，隨后又笑著說：“其實，我連男朋友都沒有。”
It seemed to me that she was jumping the gun—big time—but I understood why.
在我看來，她實在是操之過急了，但我理解其中的原因。
From an early age, girls get the message that they will have to choose between succeeding at work and being a good mother.
在女孩年紀還小時，她們就已經明白未來必須在事業成功和做個好母親之間做出選擇。
By the time they are in college, women are already thinking about the trade-offs they will make between professional and personal goals.
等到上大學時，女生就開始考慮以后要怎樣權衡職業目標和個人目標之間的關系。
When asked to choose between marriage and career, female college students are twice as likely to choose marriage as their male classmates.
當被問及該怎樣選擇時，女大學生跟男生相比，選擇婚姻的可能性要高出一倍。
And this concern can start even younger.
這種擔心很可能在她們更小的時候就出現了。
Peggy Orenstein, the author of Cinderella Ate My Daughter, related the story of a five-year-old girl who came home distraught from her after-school program
《灰姑娘吃了我女兒》一書的作者佩姬·奧倫斯坦講述了這樣的故事：一個5歲的小女孩參加完課外活動后，悶悶不樂地回到家，
and told her mother that both she and the boy she had a crush on wanted to be astronauts.
告訴母親她和自己喜歡的男孩都想當宇航員。
When her mother asked why that was a problem, the little girl replied, "When we go into space together, who will watch our kids?"
她母親問她為什么不高興，小女孩回答說：“如果我們一起上太空了，誰來照看我們的孩子呢？”
At five, she thought the most challenging aspect of space travel would be dependable child care.
她才5歲，就認為飛上太空面臨的最大挑戰就是怎么能讓孩子得到妥帖的照看。
