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The other thing you need to know about shame is it's absolutely organized by gender.
關于羞恥還需要知道的另一件事，就是它是完全被性別所導向的。
If shame washes over me and washes over Chris, it's going to feel the same.
當羞恥感涌上我的心頭和克里斯的心頭，那感覺都是一樣的。
Everyone sitting in here knows the warm wash of shame.
這里每個人都知道那是一種什么滋味。
We're pretty sure that the only people who don't experience shame are people who have no capacity for connection or empathy.
我們可以很確定的說唯一不會感到羞恥的人，就是不能建立關系或者不能感同身受的人。
Which means, yes, I have a little shame; no, I'm a sociopath.
意思就是，是，我有一點羞恥；不，我只是不愛交際。
So I would opt for, yes, you have a little shame.
那么我就會認為，是，你有一點羞恥感。
Shame feels the same for men and women, but it's organized by gender.
羞恥的感受對于男人和女人都是一樣的，但卻根據性別有不同的處理方式。
For women, the best example I can give you is Enjoli, the commercial.
對于女人，我能想到的最好的例子就是恩喬麗（香水品牌）那個廣告。
"I can put the wash on the line, pack the lunches, hand out the kisses and be at work at five to nine.
我可以打著電話把衣服洗完，打包午餐，親吻孩子的臉，工作從5點到9點。
I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and never let you forget you're a man."
我可以帶回家培根，把它放到火上煎，永遠不讓你忘了做男人的尊嚴。
For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.
對女人，羞恥就是事無巨細，盡善盡美，而且從來不讓別人看到你流汗。
I don't know how much perfume that commercial sold, but I guarantee you, it moved a lot of antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds.
我不知道這廣告賣了多少香水，但我保證，它省了不少抗抑郁藥和抗焦慮藥。
