評論
打印
So we've created what I call this thing of "stable ambiguity."
這種現象我稱為“穩定的模棱兩可”。
Stable ambiguity is when you are too afraid to be alone but also not really willing to engage in intimacy-building.
它指的是你害怕被剩下來，孤獨終老，但又不愿打開心扉，與人建立親密關系。
It's a set of tactics that kind of prolong the uncertainty of a relationship but also the uncertainty of the breakup.
這是一種策略，不僅會使這段關系的不確定性期延長，還能拖延分手的不確定性。
So, here on the internet you have three major ones. One is icing and simmering,
網絡上將其分為三個階段。一是冰凍期和溫吞水，
which are great stalling tactics that offer a kind of holding pattern that emphasizes the undefined nature of a relationship
這是很好的拖延戰術，它使人們處于某種停滯狀態，在這種狀態下，強調情感關系中的不界定屬性，
but at the same time gives you enough of a comforting consistency and enough freedom of the undefined boundaries.
但同時能讓你維持這段關系以及自由做出選擇的空間。
Yeah? And then comes ghosting. And ghosting is, basically, you disappear from this massa of texts on the spot,
說的對嗎？接下來就到了“幽靈階段”。“幽靈階段”基本上是指，你突然不再做出選擇，
and you don't have to deal with the pain that you inflict on another, because you're making it invisible even to yourself.
不再應對你給對方帶來的痛苦，因為你自己都掩耳盜鈴。
Yeah? So I was thinking -- these words came up for me as I was listening to you,
對嗎？當我在聽你演講的時候，我想到了這些，
like how a vocabulary also creates a reality, and at the same time, that's my question to you:
正如語言重現現實一樣，與此同時，我也有個問題要問你：
Do you think when the context changes, it still means that the nature of love remains the same?
當環境發生變化時，你認為愛的本質還是一樣的嗎？
You study the brain and I study people's relationships and stories, so I think it's everything you say, plus.
你研究大腦，而我研究情侶關系，我認可你的觀點。
But I don't always know the degree to which a changing context... Does it at some point begin to change...
但我不明白的是環境改變的程度-- 它是從某一點開始改變的呢？
If the meaning changes, does it change the need, or is the need clear of the entire context?
如果意義變了，需求是否也會改變呢？或需求本身不受整個大環境影響？
