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And so with our overhelp, our overprotection and overdirection and hand-holding,
隨著我們的過度幫助，過度保護(hù)，過度指導(dǎo)和過度關(guān)懷，
we deprive our kids of the chance to build self-efficacy, which is a really fundamental tenet of the human psyche,
我們剝奪了孩子建立自我能效的機(jī)會，自我能效是人類心智的重要準(zhǔn)則，
far more important than that self-esteem they get every time we applaud.
遠(yuǎn)比通過父母贊美建立起的自尊更重要。
Self-efficacy is built when one sees that one's own actions lead to outcomes, not -- There you go.
自我能效是當(dāng)一個人看到自己的行動能產(chǎn)生成果而建立起來的，而不是...你們先吧。
Not one's parents' actions on one's behalf, but when one's own actions lead to outcomes.
而不是父母代表他們做出的行動，是他們自己的行動能產(chǎn)生結(jié)果。
So simply put, if our children are to develop self-efficacy, and they must,
簡而言之，如果我們的孩子要建立，他們也必須建立自我能效，
then they have to do a whole lot more of the thinking,
就需要更多的為他們自己的人生做更多思考、
planning, deciding, doing, hoping, coping, trial and error, dreaming and experiencing of life for themselves.
規(guī)劃、決定、行動、期望、應(yīng)對、試驗、犯錯、夢想以及體驗。
Now, am I saying every kid is hard-working and motivated and doesn't need a parent's involvement or interest in their lives,
我現(xiàn)在是不是在說，每個孩子都很努力，都很積極，都不需要對他們的人生有干涉和關(guān)心，
and we should just back off and let go? Hell no.
我們應(yīng)該退后，任其發(fā)展呢？當(dāng)然不是。
That is not what I'm saying.
這不是我想說的。
What I'm saying is, when we treat grades and scores and accolades and awards as the purpose of childhood,
我想說的是，當(dāng)我們把成績、分?jǐn)?shù)、榮譽(yù)和獎勵看做他們童年的奮斗目標(biāo)，
all in furtherance of some hoped-for admission to a tiny number of colleges or entrance to a small number of careers,
當(dāng)我們代孩子去追求進(jìn)入理想中的大學(xué)，找到理想的工作，
that that's too narrow a definition of success for our kids.
這種對于成功的定義太過狹隘。
