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And here's what the checklisted childhood looks like.
清單式的生活就是：
We keep them safe and sound and fed and watered, and then we want to be sure they go to the right schools,
我們確保他們安全、健康、吃好、喝好，然后期望他們進入好學校，
that they're in the right classes at the right schools,
并且是好學校的好班級，
and that they get the right grades in the right classes in the right schools.
在好學校好班級中還要取得好成績。
But not just the grades, the scores, and not just the grades and scores,
并且不只是成績，還要拿高分，不只要好成績和高分，
but the accolades and the awards and the sports, the activities, the leadership.
還要獲得榮譽和獎項，要參加運動、活動、還要有領導力。
We tell our kids, don't just join a club, start a club, because colleges want to see that.
我們告訴孩子，不要只是參加社團，還要創建社團，因為大學喜歡這樣的學生。
And check the box for community service. I mean, show the colleges you care about others.
還要參加社區服務。我的意思是，要讓大學看到你會關心他人。
And all of this is done to some hoped-for degree of perfection.
這些都是期望中的完美。
We expect our kids to perform at a level of perfection we were never asked to perform at ourselves,
我們期望我們的孩子能做到完美，而我們自己卻從沒做到過，
and so because so much is required, we think, well then,
因為有這么多要求，我們就想，
of course we parents have to argue with every teacher and principal and coach and referee
我們做父母的得和每個老師溝通，和校長、教練、推薦人溝通，
and act like our kid's concierge and personal handler and secretary.
搞的像是孩子的管家，像私人管家，像秘書。
And then with our kids, our precious kids, we spend so much time nudging,
然后對孩子，我們寶貴的孩子，我們要花心思來督促、
cajoling, hinting, helping, haggling, nagging as the case may be, to be sure they're not screwing up,
哄騙、暗示、幫忙、嘮叨、甚至討價還價，確保他們不會在頂尖大學申請這件事上搞砸，
not closing doors, not ruining their future, some hoped-for admission to a tiny handful of colleges that deny almost every applicant.
或者故步自封，或者毀了自己的未來，即使那些大學在招生時幾乎是萬里挑一。
