Most people know someone who seems to make every situation toxic and impossible. Pointing out that these people are difficult and demanding won't get you anywhere, though—odds are, they don't even see a problem. Many times impossible people cause endless conflicts and fights, which consume more time and energy than needed.
大多數人都認識這樣一種人，他/她似乎能使每一種情況都變得有害并令人難以忍受。不過，指出這些人難以相處并且過分挑剔并不能使你達到任何目的。很可能，他們甚至未曾意識到任何問題。很多時候，這些不可相處之人帶來了無盡的沖突和爭斗，所消耗的時間和精力遠超正常所需。
However, whether the conflict with such a person is caused by a personality disorder or some other underlying issue, you can learn how to navigate interactions with impossible people and preserve your own sanity.
然而，無論與此種人的沖突是由人格障礙還是由其它一些潛在問題所造成，你都可以學習如何在與此類人的互動中時找到方向，并保持你的理智。
First, try to figure out why a person is‘impossible' to you. If you can describe what it is about the impossible person's personality that clashes with yours, you may be able to pinpoint more specific ways to deal with him or her. It seems that there are four types of impossible people which are easily recognizable:
首先，試著弄清楚為何某個人對你來說是“難以相處的”。若你能描述出那個難以相處之人的個性怎樣與你的個性不合，也許就能夠找出更具體的方法來應對此人。（我們）似乎可以比較容易地辨識出四種難以相處之人：
Clinging types are insecure and can be desperate for affection and love because they feel weak and idolize stronger people.
執著型：缺乏安全感，因感到自身虛弱而不顧一切地索取關心和愛，崇拜強者。
Controlling types are often critical perfectionists who need to be right and often blame others for their behavior.
控制型：往往是挑剔的完美主義者，需要保持自己的一貫正確性，經常指責他人的行為。
Competitive types always want to win and often use any type of relationship, conversation or activity as a contest to prove they're better at something.
競爭型：總是想贏，經常把任何類型的關系、談話或活動作為一場比賽，來證明他們擅長于某事。
Passive-aggressive people express their hostilities indirectly by subtly pushing other people's buttons. An example is the line, "Don't worry about me, I'm fine," when you know that if you go on with whatever you were doing, there will be problems to deal with later.
消極攻擊型：通過間接巧妙的方式操控他人行為，傳達他們的敵意。舉個例子，（他們會說），“不要擔心我，我很好，”而這時候你就知道，不論你接下來做什么，后續都將要面對一大堆問題。
Second, how to deal with these types of impossible people when you land up in a conflict or disagreement with them? Although their personalities may differ, the tips we provide in this article appear to be pretty useful in dealing with conflicts with any of the four types we mentioned.
其次，當陷入與這種難以相處之人的沖突或分歧中時，你該如何應付呢？雖然他們的個性可能各有不同，我們在這篇文章中提供的建議似乎可以（幫你）很好地應對與上述四種類型的人的沖突。

1. Don't get defensive.
不要辯解。
Stay calm, and be aware that you will never win in an argument with an impossible person. He or she is referred to as "impossible" for a reason. In the impossible person's mind, you are the problem, and nothing you say can convince the person to see your side of the story.
保持冷靜，并意識到，你永遠不可能在與一個不可理喻之人的爭論中贏得勝利。他/她被稱為“不可相處”是有原因的。在這些人心中，你才是問題所在，無論你說什么都不能說服對方從你的角度看問題。
Think about what you are going to say before you say it and what your goal for the conversation is. Don't just react impulsively because the other person offended you. You don't have to defend yourself to this person. Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, don't say, "You are wrong." Try something like, "I feel like that statement may not be the whole truth."
在說話之前，想想你要說什么，思索一下你對話的目的是什么。不要因為對方冒犯了你而沖動行事。你不必為此人而進行自我辯解。使用“我”而不是“你”來進行陳述。例如，不要說“你錯了”，試試“我覺得這種說法可能不是全部的真相”。
2. Realize you probably can't have a reasonable conversation.
意識到你可能無法進行一場理智的對話。
Recall every time you tried in the past to have a civilized discussion with the person instead of a fight. You were probably blamed for everything instead. Therefore: Use silence or try to humor the person whenever you can. Know that you cannot "fix" impossible people. These people cannot and do not listen to reason. Don't deal with the person one-on-one. Always suggest that a third party be brought in. If the person refuses, demand it.
試著回想一下，在過去每次你想要與某位不可理喻之人進行文明的對話而非大打出手的場景。你可能因任何問題而被指責。因此：無論何時，只要情況允許，就對此人采取沉默或嘗試幽它一默。要知道你不能“修復”那些不可理喻之人，（因為）這些人不可能也聽不進任何道理。不要與他們處處針鋒相對。（我們）始終建議通過第三方解決問題。如果遭到拒絕，也要提出此要求。
3. Don't take the reactions of impossible people personally, and don't allow yourself to become emotionally charged in reaction to him or her.
不要把這些不可理喻之人的反應往心里去（看作是對你個人的不滿），不要允許自己對他/她做出情緒激動的反應。
Redirect the situation or conversation to something positive by focusing on something other than what the argument started about.
通過關注其它事情而不是爭吵起因，把情況或談話轉到一些積極的事情上。
Consider the fact that anything you do or say while angry can be used against you. Impossible people want you to say something to prove that you're the bad guy. Talk about the weather, fishing, the impossible person's family really anything that will distract from the argument and is not likely to cause further conflict.
記住這個事實，那就是你在生氣時做或說的任何事情都可以被用來對付你。不可理喻之人希望你說些什么來證明你就是那個壞人。談論談論天氣、釣魚、對方的家庭，任何會分散對方論點而又不大可能導致沖突加劇的話題。
4. Ask a thought-provoking question.
提出一個引人深思的問題。
Asking the impossible individual or the group you are dealing with a question regarding the issue, such as, "What is the problem?" or "Why do you feel this way?" can be helpful. It shows that you are engaged in the conversation and willing to find the source of the disagreement. Rephrasing the impossible person's position to illuminate irrationality can encourage an individual to come to a better conclusion.
對那個不可理喻的個人或群體提出一個你正在思考的與當前事件有關的問題，比如“難題是什么”或者“你為什么會有這樣的感覺？”，這可能會有所幫助。這表明你正參與在當前的對話之中，并且愿意找出分歧的根源。改述這種人的觀點以闡明（其中的）不合理之處，能夠鼓勵個人達成更好的結論。
5. Adjust your strategy.
調整你的戰略。
Sometimes you can't leave the situation, so treat it like a game. Impossible people aren't so impossible when you can predict what the person is going to say or do next. Learn the impossible person's strategy, and develop counter strategies ahead of time. Eventually you'll find what works and what doesn't, plus you'll probably feel better as you realize you're three steps ahead, outwitting him or her at every turn.
有時你無法從某個情形中脫身，所以（不妨）把它看做一場游戲。當你能夠預測對方接下來會說或做什么的時候，不可理喻之人就不再那么難以對付了。學習他們的策略，并提前制定應對之策。最終你會發現什么可行，什么不可行；再加上當你意識到（自己）前面還有三個妙招可取，讓你處處勝過他/她一籌，你會感覺更好。
Just remember your ultimate goal is to help free yourself mentally, not become the person's master. If the impossible person still finds a way to get to you, then don't feel bad. Just make a note of what happened and devise new strategies for next time.
只要記住，你的最終目標是幫助自己放松心態，而不是成為另一個人的主人。如果這位不可理喻之人仍然讓你痛苦不堪，不要感覺糟透了。記下已經發生過的事情并制定出新的策略。
6. Be confident.
要自信。
State your views with confidence and look the person in the eye when communicating with him or her. If you look at the ground or over his or her shoulder, this could be interpreted this as weak. You want to be regarded as reasonable but not timid. Hence, Check your body language.Become aware of your positioning, how you move and your facial expressions when around these people.
自信地陳述你的觀點，在與他/她交流時，看著對方的眼睛。如果你看向地面或看著他/她肩膀后方，會被認為是軟弱，而你想被認為是講道理而非膽小怕事的。所以，請檢查你的肢體語言。留意在這些人身旁時你的姿勢，你如何移動身體以及你的面部表情。
We reveal a lot of our emotions non-verbally. You don't want to reveal your own feelings unknowingly. Also, this will help you maintain your own sense of calm, and may have a calming effect on the impossible person in the process. So speak softly, and move as calmly as possible, avoid confrontational body language.
很多情感我們都是通過非口頭的方式表達的，而你并不想在不知不覺中暴露自己的感情。此外，這也將有助于你保持自身冷靜，并可能在此過程中對對方產生鎮定作用。所以，輕聲細語，動作盡量平和，避免對抗性的肢體語言（比如長時間的眼神接觸、攻擊性的姿勢、用手指著對方或正沖著對面的人站立。保持中性的面部表情，不要搖晃頭部，不要（離得太近而）跨入對方的私人空間。）
7. Ignore them and take a deep breath.
不理睬他們，并深呼吸。
Impossible people want attention, so once they realize you won't give them what they want, they will move onto someone else who will react to them. Impossible peoples' outbursts are like a child's tantrum. Pay them no mind unless the outburst becomes disruptive, dangerous or threatening. Do your best to avoid angering impossible people or giving them a reason to lose their temper. Especially if the person you're talking with is getting on your last nerve, then you need to step away from the situation. Walking away or handling another task so you two can calm down is a good idea.
這些人渴望被關注，所以一旦他們意識到你不會給他們想要的東西時，就會轉向其他人求取回應。他們爆發時就像小孩子發脾氣。不必理睬他們，除非這爆發是破壞性的、危險的或具有威脅性的。盡量避免激怒這些難搞的人們或給他們一個發脾氣的理由。尤其是，如果與你談話的人就差那么一點就要讓你發火，你需要做的就是離開當前的情境。走開或去處理另一項任務從而使你倆都冷靜下來會是一個好主意。