Life is not fair; get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 8.6 times a day. You got it from your parents, who said it so often you decided they must be the most idealistic generation ever. When they started hearing it from their own kids, they realized Rule No. 1.
第一條：生活本不公平；要學會適應。普通青少年每天使用“這不公平”句子8.6次。你是從你的父母那里學來的，他們經常這樣說以至于你認為他們一定是最理想化的一代人。當他們開始從自己的孩子那里聽到這些的時候，他們會要意識到這第一條規則。(因為你管不了它)
The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
This may come as a shock. Usually, when inflated self-esteem meets reality, kids complain that it's not fair. (See Rule No. 1)
第二條：世人不會在乎你的自尊。沒有成就之前，別指望得到別人的尊重。這也許讓你感到震驚。通常，當過強的自尊心遇到現實的時候，孩子們就會抱怨說這不公平。（參見第一條規則）(因為你越強調自尊，越對你不利)
You will NOT make 60 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice president or have a car phone, either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a Gap label.
第三條：剛中學畢業就別指望年薪能拿6萬美元；也別指能望這時就能當上公司的副總，或者有車載電話。甚至，你或許不得不穿著普通的工作服。
If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure, so he tends to be a bit edgier. When you screw up, he's not going to ask you how you feel about it.
第四條：如果你認為自己的老師過于嚴厲，等你有了老板再這樣說。老板沒有任職期限，所以他才顯得急躁而挑剔。如果你把事情搞砸了，他可不會在乎你的感受。(你要悄悄地振作起來，重新奮起)
Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
They weren't embarrassed making minimum wage either. They would have been embarrassed to sit around talking about Kurt Cobain all weekend.
第五條：烙漢堡牛肉餅不會有損你的尊嚴。你的祖父母們對此有一個另外的說法，他們稱之為機遇。他們不會為掙到的工資太少而感到抬不起頭。讓他們感到尷尬的是整個周末坐著大談柯特·科本。
It's not your parents' fault. If you screw up, you are responsible. This is the flip side of "It's my life," and "You're not the boss of me," and other eloquent proclamations of your generation. When you turn 18, it's on your dime. Don't whine about it, or you'll sound like a baby boomer.
第六條：你的父母們并沒有錯。如果你做錯了，你就應當自己承擔責任。與此相反的說法有“我的生活就是這樣”，“你又不是我的老板”，以及你們這一代人油嘴滑舌的其它說法。一到18歲，你就得自己買單了。不要抱怨，不然你就會像個嬰兒潮時代出生的人一樣，只會怨天尤人。
Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.
第七條：你出生之前，你的父母并非像現在這樣乏味。他們之所以變成這個樣子是因為他們一直在為你買單，給你洗衣服，聽你自吹自擂。所以，如果你想通過消滅你父母那一輩的寄生蟲來拯救熱帶雨林的話，先去整理自己房間里的衣柜吧。

Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. Failing grades have been abolished and class valedictorians scrapped, lest anyone's feelings be hurt. Effort is as important as results. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. (See Rule No. 1, Rule No. 2 and Rule No. 4.)
第八條：你的學校或許已經不再區分好學生和壞學生，但生活并非如此。有些學校已經沒有了所謂不及格這件事。只要你想要正確答案，他們無數次的告訴你。沒有不及格，沒有優秀畢業生，就是怕傷害有些人的感受。當然，這與現實生活沒有絲毫相似之處。（參見第一條、第二條和第四條）。
Life is not divided into semesters, and you don't get summer off. Not even Easter break. They expect you to show up every day. For eight hours. And you don't get a new life every 10 weeks. It just goes on and on. While we're at it, very few employers are interested in fostering your self-expression or helping you find yourself. Fewer still lead to self-realization. (See Rule No. 1 and Rule No. 2.)
第九條：生活是沒有學期之分，不會有暑假。甚至復活節假日也沒有。他們期望你每天上班，每天八小時。你別指望每隔10個星期就能徹底休息一次。工作就是這樣日復一日。工作時，老板很少對培養你的自我表達能力或幫助你發現自我感興趣。幾乎沒有老板會相信自我實現這類屁話。（參見第一條和第二條）
Television is NOT real life. Your life is not a sitcom. Your problems will not all be solved in 30 minutes, minus time for commercials. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop to go to jobs. Your friends will not be as perky or pliable as Jennifer Aniston.
第十條：電視里不是真實生活，你的生活也不是情景劇。你的問題并非都能在30分鐘內解決（還要減去廣告時間）。現實生活中，人們不得不離開咖啡館，趕快要上班。你的朋友不會像詹妮弗·安妮斯頓那樣生性活潑、通情達理。
Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one. We all could.
第十一條：善待書呆子，很可能將來老板就是這么樣的人。我們都有這種可能。
Smoking does not make you look cool. It makes you look moronic. Next time you're out cruising, watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20. Ditto for "expressing yourself" with purple hair and/or pierced body parts.
第十二條：抽煙不會使你看起來很酷，它只會讓你看起來像笨蛋。下次去閑逛時，觀察一下一個11歲的孩子嘴里叼著煙屁的樣子，那就是你在任何20歲以上的人眼里的形象。同樣如此的是那些把頭發染成紫色或身上帶著丁零當啷飾物以“彰顯自己個性”的那些人。
You are not immortal. (See Rule No. 12.) If you are under the impression that living fast, dying young and leaving a beautiful corpse is romantic, you obviously haven't seen one of your peers at room temperature lately.
第十三條：你不會長生不老。（參見第十二條）如果放蕩生活、早死夭折而剩下個美艷的尸首給你留下浪漫的印象，那你明顯近來沒有在正常室溫的條件下見到過任何一個你的同齡人。
Enjoy this while you can. Sure parents are a pain, school's a bother, and life is depressing. But someday you'll realize how wonderful it was to be a kid. Maybe you should start now. You're welcome.
第十四條：還是盡情享受現在的一切吧。固然父母讓你頭疼，學校讓你不爽，生活總是不給力。但總有一天你會認識到當一個孩子是多么快樂美好的事。也許你應該從現在就開始。不謝！