On the last night, I gave a big reading at the National Poetry Club.
在最后一天晚上,我在全國詩歌俱樂部做了一場讀書會。
And at the end of the reading,
在讀書會結束的時候,
Katharine Kidde of Kidde, Hoyt And Picard Literary Agency,
凱德公司的凱瑟琳·凱德和霍伊特與皮卡德文學社的人
walked straight up to me and shook my hand and offered me representation, like, on the spot.
徑直走向我與我握手,當場讓我做他們的代表
I stood there and I kind of went deaf.
我像失聰了一樣站在那里。
Has this ever happened to you?
這種事發生在各位身上過么?
And I almost started crying
我幾乎要哭了出來
because all the people in the room were dressed so beautifully,
因為所有屋子里的人都如此華麗
and all that came out of my mouth was:
然而我卻只能說
"I don't know. I have to think about it."
“我不知道,我要再想想”那樣的話。
And she said, "OK, then," and walked away.
她說:“當然。”然后離開了。
All those open hands out to me, that small, sad stone in my throat
盡管很多人伸來了橄欖枝,我仍然如鯁在喉
You see, I'm trying to tell you something about people like me.
各位,我盡量告訴大家像我這樣的人的感受。
Misfit people -- we don't always know how to hope or say yes or choose the big thing,
不適者經常不知道怎樣期待和回答,也不知道在大事面前如何選擇。
even when it's right in front of us.
哪怕它們就在我們面前。
It's a shame we carry.
這是我們身上的恥辱。
It's the shame of wanting something good.
這是想接受美好時,就會有的恥辱。
It's the shame of feeling something good.
這是想感受美好時,就會有的恥辱。
It's the shame of not really believing we deserve to be in the room with the people we admire.
這種恥辱讓我們不敢相信,我們應該和那些我們敬仰的人站在同一個屋檐下。
If I could, I'd go back and I'd coach myself.
如果可以回到過去,我要像那些
I'd be exactly like those over-50-year-old women who helped me.
50多歲的女人告訴我的那樣告誡自己。
I'd teach myself how to want things, how to stand up, how to ask for them.
我要教自己去訴說我的需求,站起來,要回屬于我的東西。
I'd say, "You! Yeah, you! You belong in the room, too."
我會跟我自己說:“你!就是你!你應該在這個屋子里。”