評論
打印
You can’t say it, but you know it is true.
你們不會這么說，但你們知道這是真的。
Good evening everybody.
大家晚上好。
It is an honor to be here at my last, and perhaps the last White House correspondents’ dinner.
很高興來到我最后一次也可能是史上最后一次白宮記者晚宴。
You all look great. The end of the Republic has never looked better.
你們看起來都很漂亮，共和國的末日看起來從未如此美好過。
I do apologize. I know I was a little late tonight.
抱歉我今晚有些遲到。
I was running on CPT, which stands for jokes that white people should not make.
我是按照CPT時間來的，意思是白人不能講的笑話。
That’s a tip for you, Jeff.
給你的小貼士哦，Jeff（收到）。
Anyway, here we are, my eighth and final appearance at this unique event.
好了，這是我第八次也是最后一次參與這特別的活動。
And I am excited. If this material works well, I’m going to use it at Goldman Sachs next year.
我很興奮，如果我的段子很出彩，明年我留著到高盛再講一次。
Earn me some serious Tubmans.
賺點銀子。
That’s right. That’s right.
沒錯，沒錯。
My brilliant and beautiful wife Michelle is here tonight.
我聰慧美麗的妻子米歇爾今晚也來了。
She looks so happy to be here.
她看起來挺開心。
It’s called practice.
其實這叫熟能生巧。
It’s like learning to do three-minute planks.
跟練習三分鐘平板支撐差不多。
