評論
打印
Let's give it up a round of applause
讓我們用熱烈掌聲感謝那些
for those paying out-of-state tuition, shall we?
支付高額州外學費的同學 好嗎
Because without those people
因為 沒有這些人
tomorrow instead of wearing gowns and mortarboards
今后你們將不再是穿著長袍和方帽畢業
you'd be graduating in ponchos made of hefty bags
而是穿著大麻袋制成的斗篷
with used pizza boxes on your head
頭頂舊批薩盒畢業
But as has been stated before
不過就像我之前說的
the most impressive ranking of all
最令人印象深刻的排名是
has got to be Playboy once again naming you
花花公子雜志又一次將你們評為
the number one party school in America
美國排名第一的派對學校
Now to be clear, I only read Playboy for the rankings
申明一點 我看花花公子 都是只讀排名
but I'm not surprised by this honor
我對這個榮譽并不驚奇
because I have seen you in action
因為我親眼見過
When I used to visit back in the day
我原來還總是回到這里
I spent a fair amount of time at the Phi Kapp house
花不少時間到Phi Kapp屋
which at that time had no doors
它當時沒有門
because apparently they kept getting partied off hinges
門顯然是因為派對太瘋狂 而從鉸鏈上掉了下來
and I won't go into more about those days
過去那些往事我就不多講了
because I do not remember them
因為 我記不得了
and you know this is an impressive institution
你們知道 這是一所令人欽佩的大學
because it rejected my application
因為它拒絕了我的申請
Yes in the spring of 1984 I applied as a transfer student
對 1984年春 我作為轉校生提出申請
and at the time you could send your essay in after the rest of the application
而當時 你可以在申請過后再提交論文
Well apparently the admissions board
顯然 招生委員會
took issue with the content of my essay
對我論文的內容產生了異議
which was none because I never sent it
但是壓根就沒有 我根本就沒有提交
