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And we tend to fall in love with somebody
我們會傾向于
from the same socioeconomic background,
在同等的社會、經濟背景，
the same general level of intelligence,
同樣智力水平，
the same general level of good looks,
同等的相貌，
the same religious values.
以及相同的宗教信仰中找到自己的愛人。
Your childhood certainly plays a role, but nobody knows how.
而童年的經歷也會影響人們的愛情，但如何作用卻無人知曉。
And that's about it, that's all they know.
就是這些，心理學家知道的只有這些。
No, they've never found the way two personalities
而且，他們不知道在良好的關系中，
fit together to make a good relationship.
雙方的人格是如何配合的。
So, it began to occur to me
因此，我開始思考
that maybe your biology pulls you
為什么我們接近這一群人，而不是其他人，
towards some people rather than another.
這是不是有生物上的解釋。
And I have concocted a questionnaire to see to what degree
為此，我做了一份問卷調查，
you express dopamine, serotonin, estrogen and testosterone.
以探明人們如何顯現多巴胺、血清素、雌激素和睪丸激素的性狀。
I think we've evolved four very broad personality types
我相信這四種物質在大腦中的不同配比
associated with the ratios of these four chemicals in the brain.
讓人類演化出了四種非常普遍的人格類型。
And on this dating site that I have created,
所以我在Mating.com上創建了一個子站：Chemistry.com。
called Chemistry.com, I ask you first a series of questions
第一部分的問題
to see to what degree you express these chemicals,
用來確認上述四種物質在你的大腦中是如何顯現性狀的。
and I'm watching who chooses who to love.
最后網站記錄下是誰選擇了誰。
And 3.7 million people have taken the questionnaire in America.
總共有370萬美國人和
About 600,000 people have taken it in 33 other countries.
60萬來自其他33個國家的人做了這項測試。
I'm putting the data together now,
我正在對測試數據進行整理。
and at some point -- there will always be magic to love,
一定程度上，愛情總是神秘的，
but I think I will come closer to understanding
但我相信我會逐步接近問題的答案——
why it is you can walk into a room
當你走進一間房間時，
and everybody is from your background,
每一個人都是和你同樣的背景，
your same general level of intelligence,
你們處在同樣的智力水平上，
your same general level of good looks,
你們有同等的相貌，
and you don't feel pulled towards all of them.
但為什么你不會被所有這些人所吸引？
I think there's biology to that.
我認為這一定有生物學上的解釋。
I think we're going to end up, in the next few years,
我想幾年之內
to understand all kinds of brain mechanisms
我們就可以理解大腦
that pull us to one person rather than another.
是如何讓我們找到我們唯一愛的人。
So, I will close with this. These are my older people.
那樣，我就更接近答案了。這是我的父母。
Faulkner once said, "The past is not dead,
福克納曾說過：“過去未曾消逝，
it's not even the past."
它們還留在心中。”
Indeed, we carry a lot of luggage
確實是這樣，我們把從過去帶來的大量的行李
from our yesteryear in the human brain.
堆放在大腦中。
And so, there's one thing
我心里總存在一種力量，
that makes me pursue my understanding of human nature,
讓我想要理解人性，
and this reminds me of it.
而這也讓我想到了這幅照片。
These are two women.
這是兩個女人。
Women tend to get intimacy differently than men do.
女人們傾向于更親昵的言行而不像男人們那樣。
Women get intimacy from face-to-face talking.
女人們從面對面的交談中獲得了親切感，
We swivel towards each other,
我們轉向對方，
we do what we call the "anchoring gaze" and we talk.
并在交談中注視著對方。
This is intimacy to women.
這就是女性相互理解的方式。
I think it comes from millions of years
我想這是源于長久的進化歲月中，
of holding that baby in front of your face,
女人總是把嬰兒抱在面前，
cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.
哄他們、訓誡他們、教導他們。
Men tend to get intimacy from side-by-side doing.
而男人們總是在側坐的交談中找到親切感。
As soon as one guy looks up, the other guy will look away.
當一個人看著對方時，另一個人會望向別處。
I think it comes from millions of years
我想這源自遠古時期，
of standing behind that -- sitting behind the bush,
男人們藏在灌木叢中，
looking straight ahead,
看著前方，
trying to hit that buffalo on the head with a rock.
并想著用手中的石塊砸向野牛的頭。
I think, for millions of years, men faced their enemies,
在數萬年的人類歷史中，男人們和朋友坐在一起，
they sat side by side with friends.
一起面對共同敵人。
So my final statement is: love is in us.
所以我的主張是：愛就在我們心中。
It's deeply embedded in the brain.
它深深地扎根在大腦中。
Our challenge is to understand each other. Thank you.
理解對方是我們所追求的目標。謝謝大家！
