I have to trust the orchestra,and, even more crucially, I have to trust myself.
必須信任樂隊,更關鍵的我必須信任自己。
Think about it: when you're in a position of not trusting,what do you do?
試想一下:如果你處在沒有信任的狀況下,會怎么做?
You overcompensate.
你會過猶不及。
And in my game, that means you overgesticulate.
在我的游戲里就是太多地指手畫腳。
You end up like some kind of rabid windmill.
就像瘋狂轉動的風車一樣。
And the bigger your gesture gets,the more ill-defined, blurry and, frankly, useless it is to the orchestra.
你的動作越大,對樂隊來說反而越不明白越模糊簡單說就是毫無是處。
You become a figure of fun. There's no trust anymore, only ridicule.
你就是個搞笑的角色。沒有信任只有荒誕。
And I remember at the beginning of my career,again and again, on these dismal outings with orchestras,I would be going completely insane on the podium,trying to engender a small scale crescendo really,just a little upsurge in volume.
我記得事業初期,在一次又一次跟樂隊成員的出演中,我在指揮臺上幾欲抓狂,我只是想要一個小高潮,只是音量的稍稍提高。
Bugger me, they wouldn't give it to me.
他們就是不給面子。
I spent a lot of time in those early years weeping silently in dressing rooms.
那些年里我常常獨坐在更衣室里靜靜啜泣。
And how futile seemed the words of advice to me,from great British veteran conductor Sir Colin Davis who said, Conducting, Charles,is like holding a small bird in your hand.
英國大牌指揮家科林戴維斯爵士給我的建議,仿佛一點用都沒有,他說:查爾斯,指揮家,就像手握一只小鳥。
If you hold it too tightly, you crush it.
握太緊,會捏死它。
If you hold it too loosely, it flies away.
握太松,鳥就飛了。
I have to say, in those days, I couldn't really even find the bird.
不得不說那時候我還沒找到這只鳥。
Now a fundamental and really viscerally important experience for me, in terms of music,has been my adventures in South Africa,the most dizzyingly musical country on the planet in my view,but a country which, through its musical culture,has taught me one fundamental lesson:
對我來說一個至關重要觸及內心的音樂經歷,是在南非,在我看來南非是世界上在音樂上最驚人的國家,這個國家通過其音樂文化,給我上了重要一課。
that through music making can come deep levels of fundamental life-giving trust.
就是通過音樂創作可以觸及到能夠賦予生命的信任。
Back in 2000, I had the opportunity to go to South Africa to form a new opera company.
2000年我去南非創立一個歌劇公司。
So I went out there, and I auditioned,mainly in rural township locations, right around the country.
我去試鏡招人,在全國城鄉地區招募
I heard about 2,000 singers and pulled together a company of 40 of the most jaw-droppingly amazing young performers,the majority of whom were black,but there were a handful of white performers.
從2000個歌手里我挑選了最驚為天人的40個組成了公司,大部分人都是黑人,有一些白人。
Now it emerged early on in the first rehearsal period
從第一場彩排就出現了問題。
that one of those white performers had, in his previous incarnation,been a member of the South African police force.
一個白人曾經是南非一名警察。
And in the last years of the old regime,he would routinely be detailed to go into the township to aggress the community.
以前的時候,他常常去鎮上騷擾居民。
Now you can imagine what this knowledge did to the temperature in the room,the general atmosphere.
你可以想像這會讓屋子里,氣氛如何。
Let's be under no illusions.
讓我們實際一點。
In South Africa, the relationship most devoid of trust is that between a white policeman and the black community.
在南非,最缺乏信任的關系就是一個白人警察和黑人社區間的關系。
So how do we recover from that, ladies and gentlemen?
諸位,怎樣解決這個問題?
Simply through singing.
很簡單,歌唱。
We sang, we sang,we sang,and amazingly new trust grew,and indeed friendship blossomed.
我們唱啊唱一直唱信任開始建立起來友誼之花盛開。
And that showed me such a fundamental truth,that music making and other forms of creativity can so often go to places where mere words cannot.
這告訴我們一個重要事實,音樂創作還有其他形式的創作可以抵達語言力所不及的地方。
So we got some shows off the ground. We started touring them internationally.
我們開始展露頭角 去世界各地演出。
One of them was Carmen.
其中一個就是卡門。
We then thought we'd make a movie of Carmen,which we recorded and shot outside on location in the township outside Cape Town called Khayelitsha.
我們接著用卡門拍了一部電影,在開普敦城外一個叫卡雅利沙的鎮上我們錄制了這部電影。
The piece was sung entirely in Xhosa,which is a beautifully musical language, if you don't know it.
全部都是由科薩語演唱,如果你懂這個語言的話會明白這是個美麗的音樂語言。