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As a student of adversity,
我從逆境中學習：
I've been struck over the years
這些年來，我一次又一次
by how some people
被人們如何
with major challenges
從極大的挑戰中
seem to draw strength from them,
得到力量而震撼，
and I've heard the popular wisdom
人們說，
that that has to do with finding meaning.
這和找尋生命的意義有關。
And for a long time,
很長一段時間，
I thought the meaning was out there,
我以為生命的意義在某一處
some great truth waiting to be found.
它是等待被發掘的真理。
But over time, I've come to feel
但隨著時間的遷移，我漸漸感到
that the truth is irrelevant.
真理無關緊要
We call it finding meaning,
我們稱它為找尋意義，
but we might better call it forging meaning.
但或許我們該更準確地稱它鑄造意義。
My last book was about how families
我上一本書講的是家庭
manage to deal with various kinds of challenging
如何應對各種讓人傷腦筋的，
or unusual offspring,
或不尋常的兒女們，
and one of the mothers I interviewed,
我訪問了一位有兩名
who had two children with multiple severe disabilities,
患有多重殘疾的孩童的母親，
said to me, "People always give us
她對我說：“人們總是給予我們
these little sayings like,
一些所謂的名言，例如
'God doesn't give you any more than you can handle,'
‘上帝不會給你多過你能承載的’
but children like ours
但是像我家這樣的孩子
are not preordained as a gift.
并不是天生就注定是份禮物。
They're a gift because that's what we have chosen."
他們是一份禮物，是因為我們選擇如此。”
We make those choices all our lives.
我們一生中有很多這樣的選擇。
When I was in second grade,
我小學二年級的時候，
Bobby Finkel had a birthday party
鮑比開了個生日派對
and invited everyone in our class but me.
他邀請了班上的所有人，除了我 。
My mother assumed there had been some sort of error,
我媽媽認為一定是出了什么差錯，
and she called Mrs. Finkel,
所以給鮑比的母親打了電話，
who said that Bobby didn't like me
鮑比的母親說，鮑比不喜歡我，
and didn't want me at his party.
不想讓我參加他的派對。
And that day, my mom took me to the zoo
那天，我媽媽帶我去了動物園
and out for a hot fudge sundae.
并去吃了焦糖冰激凌。
When I was in seventh grade,
我在7年級（初中一年級）時，
one of the kids on my school bus
我乘坐的校車上有個孩子
nicknamed me "Percy"
叫我：‘波西’ （發音似女式手提包）
as a shorthand for my demeanor,
取笑我的言行舉止，
and sometimes, he and his cohort
有時，他和他的伙伴
would chant that provocation
會在整個校車的路途上
the entire school bus ride,
不停的吆喝著這個挑釁，
45 minutes up, 45 minutes back,
去學校的45分鐘，回家的45分鐘，
"Percy! Percy! Percy! Percy!"
‘波西！波西！波西！波西！’
When I was in eighth grade,
當我8年級（初中二年級）的時候，
our science teacher told us
我們的科學老師告訴我們，
that all male homosexuals
所有的男性同性戀者
develop fecal incontinence
都會大便失禁
because of the trauma to their anal sphincter.
因為他們的肛門肌肉受到創傷。
And I graduated high school
我直到高中畢業，
without ever going to the cafeteria,
我都從沒去過學校的食堂，
where I would have sat with the girls
在那兒我如果和女生坐在一起，
and been laughed at for doing so,
那么我會被笑話，
or sat with the boys
或者如果我和男生坐在一起
and been laughed at for being a boy
那么我會被笑話為一個
who should be sitting with the girls.
本應該跟女生坐在一起的男生。
I survived that childhood through a mix
我用了忍耐加上逃避，
of avoidance and endurance.
才熬過了我的童年。
What I didn't know then,
我當時不知道，
and do know now,
但我現在明白了：
is that avoidance and endurance
逃避和忍耐
can be the entryway to forging meaning.
是鑄造意義的入口通道。
After you've forged meaning,
鑄造了意義以后，
you need to incorporate that meaning
你必須把這個意義融入
into a new identity.
一個新的身份。
You need to take the traumas and make them part
你需要把創傷變成
of who you've come to be,
你自身的一部分，
