評論
打印
Between Men and Women
男女之間
Men's Declaration
男人的宣言
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes—enough.
大多數男人有三雙鞋——足夠了。
2. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
有困難時，除非你們需要人幫忙解決，否則別找我們。我們幫你解決問題。如果為了博取同情，請去找你們的女性朋友。
3. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!
如果你覺得你很胖，你很可能是真的胖。別來問我們。我們都上過當。
4. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know how to do it, just do it yourself.
你們要么請我們做事，要么告訴我們你們想要我們怎么做。不要同時要求。如果你們已經知道怎么做，那自己做好了。
5. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
哥倫布不需要別人給他指點航行方向，我們也不需要。
6. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
如果那里出現問題，我們會對癥下藥解決問題。
7. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the trouble.
如果我們問你們怎么了，而你們說“沒事”，那我們只能裝作沒事一樣。我們不是不知道你們在說謊，只是覺得不值得為此小題大做而已。
8. Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
啤酒之于我們就像手提包之于你們，會令人興奮異常。
9. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
女人，學會使用馬桶。如果坐便器抬起了，把它放下。我們需要抬起，你們需要放下。你們無視我們的抱怨，不把它抬起就離開了廁所。
10. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know? It's fun like camping.
謝謝看完上述條目。是的，我們知道今晚我們得睡沙發，但是你們知道么，睡沙發猶如露營，我們一點不在乎。
Differences
差異
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
男人愿意付2美元買價值1美元但是他需要的東西。
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.
女人愿意花1元錢買價值2元但是她不想要的東西。
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
女人找了老公之前都在擔憂未來。
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
男人娶了老婆之前從來不為未來擔憂。
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
要想與一個男人開心相處，你必須更多地體諒他，盡量不糾纏他。
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot but not try to understand her at all.
要想與一個女人開心相處，你必須更多地愛她，但不用完全理解她。
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
女人希望他嫁的男人會改變，可是他不會改變。
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
男人希望女人在婚后不要改變，但她卻變了。
A man falls in love with his eyes.
一個男人會因為視覺愉悅愛上對方。
A woman falls in love with her ears.
一個女人會因聽覺愉悅愛上對方。
