評論
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So, a few weeks ago, my mom accidentally sold a house.
幾周前，我媽不小心賣掉一棟房子
We love it. We'd like to make an offer.
我們喜歡這房子，我們愿意出價
And it was like she'd finally found her calling in life.
她好像終于找到了生活的意義
I was born to do this!
我簡直就是為此而生的！
And she jumped right into it, full force.
她立刻投身于房屋中介業務，火力全開
Thank you so much. Goodbye.
太感謝你們啦，慢走啊
I-it's nice, but, uh, five bedrooms is a lot
房子不錯，但是5間睡房對買第一套房的人
for our first home.
有點兒多了吧？
No, it is not.
不，不會的
Listen, Manuel, Soleil... Those are not our names.
聽我說，曼紐爾，蘇蕾，這不是我們的名字
It doesn't matter.
這不重要
I sold a house on my very first day on the job.
我上班第一天就售出了一棟房子
Trust me... I am the best.
相信我...我是最棒的
There she is!
就是她！
Oh, she's the one who keeps swooping in on my listings!
哦，她就是那個一直偷我房源的人
Hey, Jessica. Oh, hi, George.
嘿，杰西卡，哦，嗨，喬治
Officer Bryson is a regular at my husband's restaurant.
布萊森警員是我丈夫飯店里的常客
We have a caricature of him on the wall.
我們墻上還有一副他的漫畫呢
I'm wearing an apron, standing next to a barbecue.
我穿著一條圍裙，就站在烤架旁邊
I love barbecue sauce, and... they ran with it.
我熱愛燒烤醬汁，而...他們家無限供應
Can we please?!
辦正事好么
She doesn't even have a realtor's license!
她甚至連房地產經紀人執照都沒有
Go ahead... ask to see her license.
繼續啊...問她要執照看看
She's come down to the station three times.
她來局子里得有3趟了
Do you mind? Not at all.
你介意么？完全不介意
Let me get it. It's just in my car.
我拿給你，就在我的車里
I hate caricatures.
我討厭漫畫
Is my nose a little big? Yes.
我的鼻子有點大嗎？是的
Could my husband use it as a ski jump? No.
我丈夫能拿它跳臺滑雪嗎？不能
She's getting away!
她要逃跑了！
Shoot out her tire!
開槍打爆她的輪胎！
W-which would be an easy shot
從，從這扇美麗的手工雕刻的
from this beautiful, hand-carved double-door entry.
雙開大門開一槍，真是輕而易舉
Okay.
簽好了
Thank you.
謝謝你
Ohhh.
哦，糟了
I forgot my wallet.
我沒帶錢包
You're at home.
您這是在家里呢
Boys, get over here!
兒子們，過來這邊！
What is it?
這是什么啊
Something I've wanted for a long time.
是我夢寐已久的東西
A giant box!
巨型箱子！
I'm so happy for you, dad. Congratulations.
我真為你高興啊，老爸，祝賀你夢想成真
When I grow up, I'm gonna get a box, too.
等我長大了，我也要一個箱子
My dear, my dear, my dear, you do not know me but I know you very well?
我的親，親，親，親，你未識我而我卻知你已深
Now let me tell you about the feelings I have for you?
我滿心的感觸，只愿與你傾訴
Ever since I first laid eyes on Nicole, I knew she was my girl.
自從我第一眼看到妮可，我就知道她是我的妞
Maybe she was out of my league,
也許我高攀不起
but look at Janet Jackson and Jermaine Dupri.
但是看看珍妮?杰克遜和杰曼?德巴奇
If that ashy li'l nugget could get it, so could I.
如果那個挫貨都能有美女相伴，那我也能
Dad...
老爸...
How do I get Nicole to like me?
我怎么才能讓妮可喜歡我呢
Well, you picked a tough one, buddy.
好吧，你啃的是塊硬骨頭啊，小家伙
I'm not gonna lie.
我就實話實說了吧
She's cute, and she's older.
她很可愛又比你年紀大
You're 11, and you sleep with a glo worm.
你只有11歲，而且你還跟螢火蟲睡一起
Yo, g-dubs sleeps with me.
呦！最好的才跟我睡
Look, getting girls is like opening a restaurant.
是這樣的，泡妞就像是開飯店
It's all about location.
選好地點就是一切
You just have to be conveniently located
你只要在她開車從機場回家
when she's driving home from the airport
焦急難耐的時候
and too desperate to look for other options.
出現在她唾手可得的地方就好了
W-what do you mean?
你什么意思啊？
Find out where she's gonna be
找出那個她常去的地方
and be there always.
然后就在那里守著
Like, uh, is she part of any clubs,
比如，嗯，她有參加社團嗎
or where does she go after school?
或者放學后她會去哪兒
That's your move, buddy. That's what you're gonna do.
那就是你的方向，小盆友，那就是你該做的
Huh.
額
Apparently, you need a license to sell houses!
顯而易見，你得有個執照才能賣房子
Did you know this?!
你知道這事嗎
I did know this.
我確實知道啊
I told you this, and you ignored me.
我告訴過你，你沒理會我
Ashley Alexander is trying to take me out
阿什莉?亞歷山大想把我踢出房仲業
because she knows I am the best.
因為她知道我是最好的
It is like Mike Tyson all over again.
這就好像邁克·泰森事件的重演
They bring in Miss Black Rhode Island...
他們誣陷他強奸羅德島黑人小姐...
Honey, you're gonna have to give up on that.
親愛的，你得放棄那個借口了
He was guilty. He went to jail.
他確實有罪，他還進了監獄
Fine!
好吧
I will ace their silly exam,
我會搞定那個傻逼考試
and then I will treat myself to a chipwich,
然后我會獎勵自己一個冰淇淋三明治
because... tell me why, Evan.
因為...告訴我為什么，埃文
Huh?
啥
Evan, always be listening to me.
埃文，你要一直聽著我講話
What did I ask you when you got a 99 on your spelling test?
當你拼寫測試得99分的時候我問了你什么
"Did anyone get a 100?"
“有沒有其他人得100分啊？”
And I said, "No," And you said, "Then you are the best."
然后我說，“沒有”然后你說，“那樣你才是最棒噠”
That's right. Because what do I say, Emery?
好了，因為我說什么，埃默里
Huh?
啥
Emery, always be listening to me.
埃默里，要一直注意聽我講話
"If you're going to do something, be the best."
“如果你要做什么事情，做最好的”
Guys, speaking of the best...
大家伙們，說到最好的
What is that?
那是什么鬼
It's a sit-down, salon-style hair dryer,
它是一個坐式沙龍干發機
and it's beautiful.
美不勝收
Now I can finally reach my maximum hair potential.
現在我終于能發揮我頭發的終極潛力了
I need more information.
我需要更多的信息
I ordered it from the outlet mall.
我從打折商場訂購的
See, you know how hand-held dryers blow your hair back,
看，你知道的，手持吹風機總是把你的頭發往后吹
when what you really want is for the hair to be blown down?
其實你真正想要的是把頭發往下吹
That's what the Philippe Monday 3000s provides...
而這正是菲力浦Monday3000所提供的...
a cone of premium, omnidirectional hot air
半球型頂級，全方位熱風處理
for that all-over dry.
讓你干個透爽
Thank you.
謝謝大家
Excuse me... can you move?
打擾一下...你能挪個位子
I want to sit close to the door. This won't take me long.
我要靠著門坐，這測試不會花我太長時間的
I have a chipwich waiting for me in the car.
我還有個冰淇淋在車里等著我去吃呢
This test is a waste of my time.
這個測試簡直是浪費我的時間
Ugh. I know what you mean.
額，我懂你意思
I always say "Time is money."
我一直說，“時間就是金錢”
Hello.
看這兒
It says "Get rich" In Chinese.
這是中文的“發財”
Oh, I love that.
哦，我喜歡
Kim from Sunshine Realty.
陽光房地產的金
Jessica. Hi.
你好，杰西卡
Are you already a realtor?
你已經是一個房產經紀人啦?
Yes, for 10 years now. I'm just renewing my license.
是啊，已經10年了，我就是來更新一下我的執照
What about you? How long have you been in the game?
你怎么樣啊？你入這行多長時間了？
Only a month, but I already sold a house... on my first try.
只有一個月，但是我第一次出手...就賣掉一所房子了
Congratulations. You will never forget your first time.
祝賀你，你永遠都不會忘記你的第一次
Mine was, what, 358 houses ago?
我第一次賣房，大概，358套房之前吧？
You jive.
你扯呢吧
I know. It's crazy, right?
聽起來有點小瘋狂，是吧
But I'm kind of a freak of nature.
但我本身就有點不同尋常
I've been voted top-selling realtor five years running
我已經連續五年被評為最佳房地產經紀人了
according to the Orlando sentinel.
奧蘭多前哨報選出來的
They... call you that?
他們...叫你這個
Yes. Kind of embarrassing.
嗯，有點小害羞呢
Here's the article.
文章就在這兒
You can keep that. I have copies.
你可以留下來慢慢看，我復印了不少
So, uh, why are you so late to the game?
話說，呃，你事業起步有點晚啊
Career change?
轉行啦
Well, I have three kids...
呃，我有三個孩子...
Ohhh. Okay. So you made that choice.
噢，好吧，所以你選擇了家庭
Hey.
嘿
I am also a stay-at-home mom starting my act 2 in life.
我也在家當全職媽媽，正開啟我生活的新篇章
You and me... we're the same.
你和我...是一樣的哦
No, we are not.
不，我們不是
I envy you two.
你倆真讓我嫉妒
We are not the same. Tell us all about it.
我們不一樣，說說看你嫉妒啥
We are not the... s-same.
我們不一...樣
You have two hours for part 1.
第一部分，限時兩小時
I forgot my pencil. Let me go get it.
我忘帶鉛筆了，馬上去拿
It's just in my car.
就在我車里
State got my letter, right?
你們收到我的申請信了，對吧
Marge Hickman... I'm allowed these?
瑪吉，希克曼...能放這個吧？
Jessica?
杰西卡
Hey!
嘿
What are you doing here?
你在這兒干嘛
Eating a chipwich.
吃我的冰淇淋三明治
I thought you were supposed to be taking your real-estate exam.
我以為這個點你應該在參加房仲業考試
Okay, Honey.
夠了，親
What did your dad mean, "Be conveniently located"
你爸說“當她從機場開車回家時”
when she's driving home from the airport"?
出現在她唾手可得的地方是啥意思
He was saying I should find out where she at after school.
他的意思是我得弄清她放學后去了哪兒
If I could spend time with my dad,
如果我有時間和我爸在一起
I wouldn't waste it talking about some skeeze.
我才不會浪費時間說泡妞的事
Okay, Dave.
行了，戴夫
Missy... Whoa!
小丫頭... 嗷
You are gonna spend the rest of your life in detention.
你是打算用學校留堂來度過余生了
At least I have a life.
至少我還有生活
What's this? What's this? Oh! It's my wedding ring!
這是啥？這是啥？哦！我的婚戒誒！
I have a life.
姐也有生活
That's how I'm gonna spend time with her.
我知道怎么跟她呆一塊兒了
I got to get thrown into detention.
我要被留堂查看
Oh, yeah? How are you gonna do that?
哦？你打算怎么做？
Yes, Eddie?
好的，埃迪
Oprah sucks.
歐普拉遜爆了
Hey, girl.
嘿，小妞
Looks like we're just two rebels, here.
看來兩個叛逆者湊一塊兒了
Yeah. Totally.
對，沒錯
Um, can you hold this for me?
嗯，你能幫我拿著這個嗎
I'll be right back.
我馬上就回來
Young man, is that a bag of ninja stars?
小伙子，你拿的是一袋忍者飛鏢嗎
What? No! Nicole just asked me to hold this for her.
什么？不！妮可讓我幫她拿著的
Did she leave?
她走了
She did it again.
又是這樣
I don't know where she gets off.
真不知道她又去哪快活了
You know I'm married, right?
你知道我結婚了，對吧
Congratulations!
祝賀你
What?
啥
You passed your test!
你通過了考試啊
I mean, we knew you would. It's just a formality.
我是說，你的能力不容置疑，不就去拿個證嘛
Like you said, got to weed out the dum-dums.
正如你所說，橫掃那些蠢材
Yep. I did it.
沒錯，考完了
No dum-dums here.
蠢材一掃光
The cake says "A-b-c"... "Always be celebrating."
蛋糕上寫著“A-b-c”...“永遠在慶祝”
I thought the "B" Should stand for "Best."
我覺得“B”應該代表“最棒的”
"Always best celebrating"?
“永遠最棒的慶祝”
That's what you wanted?
你想要那個
What'd you say, mommy?
媽咪，你說什么來著
I-I didn't say anything.
我我什么也沒說
Oh. Okay.
哦，好吧
I'm listening to you, though, just so you know.
我一直在認真聽你的話，你知道的
Careful.
小心
What's going on?
在干嘛呢
Oh. Excuse the 3000s.
哦，給3000型騰個地兒
She got a wider stance than I realized.
她比我想象的寬一點
I told the girls at school we got a new hair dryer,
我跟學校的女孩子們說我家買了個干發器
and they said, "Don't do anything different to your hair.
結果她們說“別動你的頭發，我們就喜歡
We love it.
它那個樣子
Who said that? Bianca? That sounds like Bianca.
誰說的？比安卡？一聽就是比安卡的語氣
Yep.
嗯
Jessica, don't you have to get up?
杰西卡，你不起床嗎
I thought you had a lot of houses to show today.
我以為有很多房子排著隊等你介紹呢
Oh, yes, a lot of showings today.
哦，對，是挺多的
Busy, busy.
忙，忙死了
Houses, mansions, condos, houseboats.
獨立屋啊，豪宅啊，公寓啊，船屋啊
How crazy are houseboats? You go home and you sail away.
這是有多瘋要住船屋啊？你回到家就揚帆起航了
What's your address? The ocean.
你住哪兒？大海
Don't like your neighbors?
不喜歡你鄰居嗎
Fish are your neighbors. You can eat your neighbors.
你鄰居是魚！你能吃你鄰居！
So, yeah... busy, busy.
所以，你看...忙，忙死了
Okay, have a great day. I'm going under.
好，祝您今天愉快，我要進罩了
Dad.
老爸
I went to where Nicole hangs out after school.
我去了妮可課后去的地方
She blew me off.
她無視我
Okay, well, now that you've got her location down,
好吧，既然你現在知道她的位置了
you got to find out what she likes so you can plan your menu.
你就可以去弄清楚她喜歡什么，然后設計個菜單
Can you not talk in restaurant?
除了餐廳你能說點別的嗎
Okay. Find some shared interests,
好吧，先找到共同愛好
something you both like, you know, to break the ice.
你倆都喜歡的，你知道的，打破僵局
Is that what you did with mom?
你就是這么搞定老媽的
Oh, not right away.
哦，也沒那么快
We developed our shared interest over about nine months...
我們花了大概九個月...才培養出共同愛好
you.
你
Nasty.
真下流
Unbelievable.
不可思議
I love it!
我愛這感覺
I didn't take the test.
我沒參加考試
I have nowhere to go,
沒地方去了
and I have to pretend to be at work all day.
我得裝出全天工作的樣子
No, he died last year.
不，他去年就過世了
It's very sad.
真是挺傷感的
Okay, you little turds.
好了，你們這幫小混蛋
No funny business today.
今天可別耍什么花樣
I'm at a really big point in Michael Crichton's "Congo,"
我正讀到邁克爾，克萊頓所著“剛果”的關鍵情節
and I'm gonna put my headphones on.
我會戴上耳機
Couldn't help but notice you framed me
總是想到你那天用
with a bag of ninja stars the other day.
一包忍者飛鏢陷害我的事
You into Asian warfare?
你喜歡亞洲之戰嗎
Brandon Lee was hot.
布蘭登，李挺性感的
R.I.P., B. Lee.
安息吧，李
You ever seen "The crow"? It's one of my favorite movies. -
你看過電影“烏鴉”嗎？我的最愛的電影之一
I don't need to see it. I've lived it.
我用不著看，那曾是我的生活
My pizza!
我的披薩
Get away, crows!
滾開，臭烏鴉
This place sucks.
這個地方糟透了
I don't even need to be here, anyway.
我甚至不需要來這兒
I'm going to beauty school.
我要去美容學校
Girl, let me stop you right there.
美妞，我們就此打住
You do not need a school to teach you how to be beautiful.
你根本不用上教你變漂亮的課
A beauty school, where you learn how to do hair and makeup?
美容學校,是教你怎么美發和化妝
Awesome! I love that stuff, too!
酷斃了！我也好這口
You should come over sometime after school.
你應該課后選個時間來
I... Yes.
我...沒問題
Jessica?
杰西卡
Hey!
嘿
What are you doing here?
你在這里做什么
Why aren't you showing houses?
你怎么不在展示房子
I didn't take the realtor test.
我沒有參加房地產經紀人考試
What?
什么
Why not?
為什么沒
Because I'm never gonna be as good as her.
因為我永遠也比不上她
Oh! Kim!
哦！金
Oh! She is great.
哦！她很棒
She sold us our house. Okay, Honey.
我們的房子就是通過她買的，好了，蜜兒
I'm sorry, Jessica.
杰西卡，真抱歉
Look, I know how hard it is living in someone else's shadow.
聽著，我知道活在別人的陰影下是多么苦逼的事
Marvin's first wife was 25 years older than me,
馬文的第一任妻子比我大25歲
25 pounds heavier, and is addicted to prescription meds.
重25磅，并且對藥物上癮
How are you living in her shadow?
怎么會是你活在她的陰影下
Oh. No. Sweetie, no.
哦，不，甜心，不
No, no. She's living in mine.
不是，是她活在我的陰影之下
But I really feel for her.
但我真的為她感到惋惜
Look, anyway, the point is,
聽著，不管怎樣，重點在于
there's always gonna be a shadow.
陰影總是揮之不去
So it's up to you to step out of it.
關鍵在你如何走出陰影
So... We're gonna stop eating the ice cream,
所以...我們不吃冰淇淋了
and you are gonna get your butt back down there
然后趕緊回去
and ace that test.
考個A回來
You're right.
你說的對
Thank you, Honey.
蜜兒，謝謝你
That's exactly what I am going to do.
我就是要這么做才對
Ma'am. Ma'am, you can't do those here.
女士，女士，你不能在這里做這些
You're gonna get scratcher dust in the ketchup.
刮下來的粉末會弄到番茄醬里的
Well, I can't go outside,
但是我不能出去
because my friend is a jogging maniac.
因為我朋友是太特么愛慢跑了
She's all over the city.
無論在哪兒她都能跑到你身邊
The only place I am safe is here, by your junk food.
在你的垃圾食品旁邊才是我的安全地帶
Let's see what you have in your pot,
讓我看看你盤里有什么
you cute, little leprechaun.
你真是可愛的小妖精
Nothing.
什么也沒中
There's flies making love in your hot-dog case!
有蒼蠅在你的熱狗爐里交配
Mission control, this is star fighter. Come in.
航天地面指揮中心，我是星球戰士，說吧
The shields are down! I repeat, the shields are down!
護盾不起作用了！我再重復一遍，護盾不起作用了！
We're coming in hot, and we're bringing company!
我們有棘手的問題，還有敵人尾隨在后!
Damn it, lieutenant! The shields are down!
該死的，中尉！護盾不起作用了
We're breaking up on re-entry! The g-force is too much!
我們與大氣的通訊斷開了!重力負重太大
Tell Bianca I loved her.
告訴比安卡我愛她
I will do no such thing...
我不會這么做的...
'cause you're gonna tell her yourself.
因為你會有機會親自對她說
You guys are good.
你們很棒
And this is my crimper with interchangeable plates.
然后這是我的多功能卷發器
It's the same one Melissa Joan Hart uses.
這可是和梅利莎·瓊·哈特一個款式的喲（美國90年代最受歡迎的青春玉女偶像之一）
That's so interesting.
真有趣
It wasn't interesting, but I didn't care.
其實不有趣，但我不在乎這個
I was in her crib!
醉翁之意不在酒啊！
You know, I'm glad you guys moved in next door.
知道嗎，我很高興你們搬到隔壁
You are?
真的嗎
Yeah. It was pretty boring around here.
是的，這周圍太無聊了
And your house was empty for so long because of the murders.
你的新家因為謀殺案閑置了很久
What?!
你說神馬
I'm kidding.
我開玩笑的
Yo, you got me, there.
喂，你嚇死人了
Hey, could I ask you a favor?
嘿，我能請你幫個忙嗎
I need someone to practice my beauty stuff on.
我需要有人當我的美容小白鼠
No problem, girl. Do your thing.
沒問題，妞兒，隨便來
Yeah? Cool. Thanks.
真的？太酷了，謝謝
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
等下等下等下
I thought you were just gonna style my hair or something.
我以為你只是幫我弄發型什么的
What I really need to learn is ear piercing.
我需要好好學學怎么穿耳洞
You know Brandon Lee had an earring, right?
你知道李國豪（李小龍之子）也有耳環的，對嗎
True dat.
那必須滴
Ooh, this was crazy.
哦，太瘋狂了
It was the closest I'd ever been to a girl
這是唯一與我有肢體接觸的女孩
who wasn't my mom, a dentist, a nurse...
除了我媽，牙醫，護士...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
啊啊啊啊啊啊啊
Quick... "Propensity."
快點...“Propensity”怎么拼
p-r-o-p...
P-r-o-p...
Ensity
Ensity.
Propensity.
Propensity就是這么拼
"Ensity"?
“Ensity”呢？
Wrong. Here's the word. Write it five times.
錯了，這個單詞寫5遍
How was your first day as a licensed realtor?
你第一天做有執照的房地產經紀人感覺怎么樣？
Ohm, you know, it... it was the same.
哦，你知道，這...老樣子
It didn't feel any different.
沒什么不同
But it had to feel a little different, right?
但應該有所不一樣，不是嗎
You're legit now.
你現在是合法經紀人了
Actually, I was thinking about it,
實際上，我正在考慮此事
and... I feel like I have conquered that world.
我感覺我征服了房產界
I'm ready to move on to something else.
我準備轉行
Don't be silly. You're great at this.
別傻了，你很在行的
Hey, can I see your license?
嘿，我可以看一下你的執照嗎
Uh...
額...
Oh, it's in the car.
哦，在車里
Don't worry. I know you photograph angry.
不要擔心，我知道你不上照
I don't care. I just want to see the license.
我不在乎，我只是想看一下那執照
Oh... Well, let me just get it.
哦...好吧，我去拿一下
In my purse.
在我皮夾里
Let me just get it.
讓我取出來哈
Oh.
哦
A little zip-zip...
拉開拉鏈...
Oh, no! Someone has stolen it!
哦，不！被人偷了
No one leaves until we find out who.
在我們找出是誰以前誰都不要離開
It's definitely grandma.
一定是奶奶
Jessica, I know you didn't take the test.
杰西卡，我知道你沒有去考試
What?! No! I... I ran into Honey.
什么？！不是！我... 我遇到蜜兒了
Hey! Jesus please...
嘿！我的親娘七舅老爺...
Whoa.
沒事兒吧
She told me everything.
她把一切都告訴我了
The only thing that woman runs more than her legs is her mouth.
那女人滿嘴跑火車比跑腿強
She's worried about you.
她很擔心你
Okay, it's true. I didn't take the test.
好吧，是真的，我沒去考試
Here's the thief, mommy.
媽媽，小偷在這里
See ya, girl.
美妞，再見
Dude, let's go!
哥們，我們走
Get your bike out!
快拿你的自行車出來
W-what's going on?
發生什么事了
Shaq's at the barbecue store at the mall!
大鯊魚在商場里的燒烤店呢
What?!
什么？
He's getting his propane tank fixed.
他正在修他的燃氣罐
Just before that, he was at Mrs. Fields,
在那之前，他在菲太太曲奇店
getting one of those giant cookies.
買了一個巨型餅干
But I bet to him, it's a regular cookie.
我敢說，那對他來說就是塊普通大小的餅干
Dude! Is that an earring?
哥們！那是個耳釘嗎？
Yeah. Nicole tagged me like her own personal wildcat.
是呀，妮可把我當成她的小野貓標記了（絕育公貓耳上打標）
You look like a fool!
你看起來像個白癡！
We're losing focus!
我們跑題了！
Eddie. Eddie, get on.
埃迪，埃迪，上車
Hey, Eddie! I just found my henna stencils.
嘿，埃迪，我剛找到指甲花染料模板
Can I practice decorating your hands?
我能拿你的手練習一下嗎？
Too long, Huang. We got to go.
考慮得太久了，黃，我們走了
Shaq! We're coming, Shaq!
奧尼爾!我們來了，奧尼爾
We forgive you for "Shaq Fu"!
我們原諒你的“功夫鯊魚”了
What's going on? Why didn't you take the test?
到底發生了什么？為什么你沒參加考試？
What's the point?
有什么意義呢？
No matter how many houses I sell, I'm never gonna catch up
無論我賣多少房子，我永遠都追不上
with people who've been doing it for 10 years.
那些已經做了10年的人了
It's too late in the game for me to be the best.
對我來說在這行成為最棒的為時已晚
Why do you always have to be the best?
為什么你總是一定要成為最好的？
Because I tell the boys they always have to be the best.
因為我告訴孩子們一定要成為最棒的人
So your answer is to just quit?
所以你就這么放棄嗎？
I'm not used to this!
我還沒適應這事呢！
Well, you're also not used to having a full-time job,
好吧，你也一直都不習慣找份全職工作
living in Orlando, having a husband with perfect hair.
住在奧蘭多，或是擁有一個留著完美發型的丈夫
A lot of things in life are new for you.
生活中有很多對你來說很新鮮的事情
All that matters is you do your best.
重要的是你盡了自己最大的努力
Isn't that a better example for the boys than quitting?
這跟放棄比起來，難道不是給孩子們的更好的榜樣嗎？
I like quitters even less than losers.
我寧可失敗也不愿做逃兵
Mm-hmm. It goes like this.
恩，我心中的排位是
It goes quitters, losers,
放棄的人，失敗的人
cats, kleenex, Martin Sheen,
貓，抽紙，馬丁·辛
redheads, croissants, buttons...
紅毛，牛角面包，紐扣...
Quick!
快
What are the zoning laws for a noncommercial establishment?
對非商用建筑來說，分區法是指什么？
I just opened the book.
我才剛剛打開書
Wrong!
錯！
Here's the answer. Write it five times.
這是答案，寫5遍
It's fun when mommy's bad.
媽媽犯錯真好玩
Hey, mommy won't be bad for long.
嘿，媽媽不會一直出錯的
I crunched the numbers,
我仔細研究那些數據
and if I sell 20 luxury homes a year, I can beat Kim.
如果我一年賣掉20個高檔住宅，我就能打敗金中介
Plus, she's gonna turn 40 soon, panic, and do I.V.F.
此外，她馬上就40了，開始恐慌想要孩子，做個試管嬰兒
That'll bench her for a few months.
就在那幾個月我就能扳倒她
But that's not what's important, right, Honey?
但是那并不是重點，是吧？親愛的
Right, right. No, right.
是，是，是，不是重點
Hey, mom. I'm home.
嘿，媽媽，我回來了
Just gonna get a jump on my homework! You love me?
馬上就去做功課！
What are you hiding?
你藏了什么？
Nothing.
沒什么
An earring?!
一個耳釘？
Eddie!
埃迪！
I take my eye off you for five minutes,
我才沒盯著你5分鐘
and you do this?
你就去做這個了？
And what are these? No...
這又是什么？不
Eddie!
埃迪！
I can't belie...
我不敢相信..
my goodness. Your hands are beautiful.
上帝，你的手真美
Is your ear pierced?
你扎耳眼了？
You are in so much trouble.
你有大麻煩了
I'm just doing what dad told me...
我只是做了爸爸教我的事
treating Nicole like a restaurant.
把妮可當做是一間餐廳
You told him this was okay? No. N...
是你告訴他他可以這么做？不
I told him to spend time with her and find shared interests.
我只是告訴他和她呆在一起然后發現一些共同的愛好
Which is what I did! She did all of this.
這就是我做的！這都是她做的
I-I can't even look at you with that thing.
你這樣真讓我無法直視
Here... put this back on.
來，把這個戴回去
You look like an Indian Elmer fudd.
你看起來像是兔八哥里的艾瑪
I said "Shared interests."
我說的是共同的愛好
What are you doing? You're not into this stuff.
你做的是什么？你沒明白這事
I know. And I missed seeing Shaq at the mall.
我明白，而且我還錯過去商場看奧尼爾的機會
He was power-browsing, and I wanted to go,
他正在閑逛，我本想去看他
but Nicole wanted to henna my hands.
但是妮可想給我美甲
What was Shaq browsing at the mall?
奧尼爾在商場里看什么呢？
Cookies and propane.
餅干和燃氣
Hm. That makes sense.
恩，有道理
You figure he can't buy clothes there.
你明白他在那買不到衣服
This is stupid!
看我干的蠢事啊
I'm just gonna give up.
我要放棄了
Eddie, no.
埃迪，不
I'm not quitting, and you are not, either.
我沒放棄，你也不能
Just be yourself.
做你自己
If that's not good enough, that's not the girl for you.
如果這事不是那么美好，那她就不是適合你的女孩
Hey, wait. Where's your earring?
嘿，等等，你的耳釘哪去了
I took it out.
我把它拿掉了
And the henna wouldn't come off,
指甲花手繪洗不掉
so you'll just have to imagine that's gone, too.
所以你就想象它們都沒有了吧
I thought it looked great.
我感覺還是挺漂亮的
Honestly, I'm not really into any of that beauty stuff.
說實話，我不是真的喜歡那些化妝的東西
But you should totally go for it. You're good at it.
但是你可以堅持做下去，你很擅長這事
And after I'm done being grounded,
當我的禁足結束以后
if you want to do something that's not lame,
如果你想做什么不那么遜的事
like watch basketball or whatever,
像是看籃球或是其他的
I'd be down.
我都陪你
By the way, I heard Shaq wasn't really at the mall yesterday.
順便說一句，我聽說昨天奧尼爾沒來商場
It was just some big black guy in a mustard-colored suit.
那只是個黑人男子穿著黃色的西裝
Oh, I know. Dave was crying at the bus stop this morning.
哦，我知道，大衛因為這事今早在車站哭了
I mean, where do you even get a suit that color?
我的意思是，哪里能買到那個顏色的西裝
And calling everybody "Cousin."
并且把每個人都叫做“表親”
That guy knew what he was doing.
那個家伙絕對是故意的
Bam!
棒
I did it. I passed the test.
我成功了，我通過考試了
Congratulations! I knew you could do it!
恭喜，我就知道你可以的
We still have some of your cake left.
我們還剩下一些你的蛋糕呢
be best celebrating
做最棒的慶祝
Who did that?
誰做的
Who on earth improved this cake?
究竟是誰把蛋糕升級了
You did.
你做的
Star fighter to mission control.
星空戰士呼叫任務控制
My radar's been shot out. I don't have eyes.
我的雷達被擊中，失去探測
My shields are up, but I don't know for how long.
戰艦防護盾啟動，但是我不知道能撐多久
There's someone here who wants to talk to you.
有人想跟你說話
Honey, it's me.
親，是我
You're the bravest star fighter ever.
你是最勇敢的星空戰士
Come back for me and the kids. I love you.
要為了我和孩子回來啊，我愛你
I love you, too, Maureen.
我也愛你，莫林
Who's Maureen?!
誰是，莫林
I knew you were listening.
我知道你在聽
Go to bed!
快睡覺
Star fighter out.
星空戰士離線
Oh no I pressed the wrong button.
哦不，我按錯按鈕了
