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Previously on The Big Bang Theory.
《生活大爆炸》前情提要。
We were worried about you.
我們擔心你。
Don't be melodramatic.
別這么夸張。
I'm just getting on a train and leaving forever.
我只是準備登上火車永遠離開。
Well, so a few things don't go your way and your best decision is to ride the rails like a hobo?
生活中有幾件事不如你意，你就決定像個流浪漢般坐火車遠走高飛嗎？
Leonard, I am overwhelmed.
萊納德，我不知所措。
Everything is changing, and it's simply too much.
一切都在改變，多到讓人無法接受。
I need to get away and think.
我需要離開，好好想想。
Sheldon...Yes?
謝爾頓...什么事？
I'm gonna miss you.
我會想你的。
Of course you are.
這不廢話嗎。
You just made that easier.
慢走不送。
Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?
打擾一下。有沒有可能你現在打的是毛線褲呢？
Oh, well, no, you're understandably terrified. But, you know, allow me to explain.
別走，你感到害怕是可以理解的。但請給我個機會解釋。
45 days ago, um, I embarked on a railroad journey of healing because my university was making me do string theory,
45天前，我開啟了一段心靈療傷鐵路之旅，因為當時我的大學逼我研究弦理論，
and my favorite comic book store burned down, and when my roommate got engaged,
而我最喜愛的漫畫店發生了火災，我的室友還訂婚了，
my girlfriend wanted to move in with me, which was no doubt a ploy just to see my - well, excuse my language, but my bathing suit parts.
而我女朋友想搬進來跟我同居，而那明顯是幌子，她的目的...抱歉失禮了，是染指我小褲褲里的東西。
Uh, sir, may I use your phone?
先生，能借用一下電話嗎？
I don't think so.
恐怕不能。
Yeah, well, I understand that I'm half naked, but there is a reasonable explanation.
好吧，我知道我現在是半裸的，但是我有個合理的解釋。
While I slept in my sleeper car, all my possessions were stolen.
我在火車臥鋪上睡覺時東西全被偷走了。
Now, typically, I wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle and pajamas are the sleep-pants of the Man.
通常來說，我都會穿睡褲，但最近我習慣了流浪漢的生活方式，而睡褲是普通人穿來睡覺的。
I'll have you know, Mahatma Gandhi wore no pants and a nation rallied behind him!
我告訴你，圣雄甘地也沒穿褲子，全印度還不是團結起來支持他！
My good man...Now, before you walk away...I know that I may appear deranged, but I am, in fact, a world-renowned physicist.
老兄在你走之前我想說我可能看起來像瘋子，但其實我是一個世界聞名的物理學家。
Ask me the difference between a boson and a fermion.
不信你問我玻色子跟費米子的差異。
You go ahead, ask! Bosons have integer spin, fermions have half-integer spin!
來啊，你問吧！玻色子自旋為整數，費米子自旋為半整數！
My legs are getting cold! Why won't anybody help me?
我的腿好冷！為什么沒人幫幫我呢？
Morning. Hi. Want to do yoga with me?
早安。想跟我一起做瑜伽嗎？
Um, let me just have some coffee first, and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.
讓我先喝杯咖啡，我才有力氣告訴你我超級不想做瑜伽。
Hello? Hello, Leonard. Hey, buddy. Good to hear your voice.
你好？萊納德，是我。兄弟，很高興又聽到你的聲音。
Uh, I'm in Kingman, Arizona, and, uh, I need you to come pick me up.
我在亞利桑那州的金曼我要你來接我一趟。
I'd love to. I'm just about to do yoga with Penny.
我很樂意。可是我得跟佩妮一起做瑜伽。
Leonard, I'm at the police station.
萊納德，我在警局里。
I was robbed. Th They took my phone, my wallet, my iPad, everything.
我被人洗劫一空。他們拿走了我手機我的皮包、我的iPad，全被偷了。
Oh, my God, are you okay? No, I'm not okay.
天啊，你沒事吧？當然有事。
I I'm wearing borrowed pants, I I don't have I.D. , and one of the officers here won't stop calling me Chicken Legs.
我穿著借來的褲子身上，也沒證件，而這里其中一個警察一直叫我小雞腳。
Okay. Uh, I'll I'll come get you. What's the address? Hey, what's going on?
好吧。我來接你。地址呢？怎么了？
He got all of his stuff stolen. Okay...Hurry.
他的東西全被偷了。好的...快來。
Sheldon, hang tight. Hey, do you want me to bring anything?
謝爾頓，撐住。你還需要我帶什么東西給你嗎？
Oh, yes, please. A pair of pants. And my toothbrush. Yeah, and my mail.
拜托你了。帶條褲子。我的牙刷。我的信。
And a really good comeback for chicken legs, because "I know you are, but what am I?" was met with stony silence.
還有幫我想怎么回敬人家笑我小雞腳，因為我回他"你才是小雞腿，你們全家都是小雞腿"他只無語的藐視我。
I'll be there as soon as I can.
我會盡快過來。
Is he okay? Yeah, he's fine, he's just a little rattled.
他沒事吧？人是沒事，就是有點嚇著了吧。
Oh...Feel like driving to Arizona with me?
哦...有興趣陪我一起開車去亞利桑那嗎？
I can't, I have that job interview. Oh, right.
不行，我得去面試呢。對哦。
Besides, I don't need six hours of "Your hair is different.Why did you change your hair?
而且我也不想聽六個小時的"你的發型變了。你為什么換發型了？
I'm holding my breath until your hair grows back.
我要憋住呼吸到你頭發長出來為止。
All right, fine.
好吧，行。
Hey, can you think of a reason I shouldn't invite Amy to come with me? Nope.
你能想到我不應該邀請艾米跟我一起來的理由嗎？沒有。
Come on, you didn't even try.
靠，你想都沒幫忙想。
Thanks for the lift.
謝謝你來接我。
What's wrong with your car?
你的車怎么了？
I'm having my windows untinted.
我把車送去弄掉防曬膜了。
Why? Got a hot girlfriend now. I want the haters to know.
為什么？現在有個辣妹女友。得秀給嫉妒的屌絲們看看啊。
What are you talking about? No one's paying attention to you.
你在瞎說什么啊？才沒人會鳥你咧。
How's that Hater-ade taste, bro? Hey, this isn't the way to work.
嫉妒水的滋味可好，兄弟？這不是上班的路啊。
I just want to pop in and make sure Ma's okay.
我想經過我媽家，看看她好不好。
I thought Stuart was looking after her.
斯圖爾特不是在照顧她嗎。
He was, but now that her cast is off, he moved out.
本來是，我媽石膏拆了后，他就搬了。
And honestly, I'm kind of glad. It was getting a little weird.
老實說，我挺高興的。他們倆后來有點怪怪的。
How so? I don't know, they're...chummy.
怎么怪？我不會說，他們...很親密。
Like us? No, not like us.
像我們這樣嗎？不，跟我們不一樣。
Creepy chummy, like you and your dog.
是惡心的那種親密，就像你和你的狗。
She feeds him out of her own mouth?
你媽媽親自用嘴給他喂食嗎？
I mean, he calls her Debbie, she calls him Stewie and they're all giggly around each other.
我是說，他叫我媽黛比，我媽叫他圖仔，他們整天兩個人黏一起傻笑。
And believe me, when food goes in that mouth, it does not come out.
相信我，任何食物只要一到我媽嘴里就只進不出了。
So are you worried because he's replacing you as a son or are you worried because he's becoming her lover?
所以你是擔心他要取代你兒子的位置，還是擔心他會成為你媽媽的情人？
First of all, no one can replace me as a son. I'm her little matzo ball.
首先，沒人能取代我兒子的位置。我是我媽的寶貝小湯丸。
And secondly, my mother is well past having any kind of sex life.
其次，我媽這么大年紀早就跟性生活無緣了。
Okay, okay. Although many older women lead vibrant, active...I said well past it!
好吧。其實有很多老年女性仍過著活力四射的...我說無緣就是無緣！
Excuse me, Officer Hernandez? Any leads on the person who stole my belongings?
請問一下，赫爾南德斯警官？有任何偷我東西的賊的線索了嗎？
Not yet. Well, perhaps I can help.
還沒。或許我可以幫忙。
Sherlock Holmes always says when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.
神探福爾摩斯曾說過排除所有不可能因素，剩下的即使再不合理必然是事實的真相。
Now, have-have you tried doing that? Nope.
你試過這么做嗎？沒有。
Well, maybe you should.
或許你該試試。
Th Th There's lots of books called "Sherlock Holmes" and there's no books called "Officer Hernandez."
世上有很多叫《神探福爾摩斯》的書，而卻沒有一本叫《神警赫爾南德斯》。
Thanks again for coming. Six hours was gonna be a long drive by myself.
謝謝你來陪我。我一個人開六個小時的車實在太漫長了。
My pleasure.
我的榮幸。
And I'm not angry at all that my boyfriend was in trouble and called you instead of me. I love that!
而且我一點也不氣我男朋友落難時，居然打給你而不是我。真是太好了！
Yeah, time's gonna fly by.
好吧，這六小時一定過得"飛快"。
I haven't been on a job interview in years. I'm really nervous.
我好幾年沒去面試了。我真的好緊張。
Don't be. You are built for pharmaceutical sales.
別緊張。你天生就是干醫藥銷售這行的。
You're cute, you're flirty and...Started that like there were gonna be three things.
你可愛、輕浮而且...本來以為會有三個優點說呢...
I don't have any experience in sales.
我沒有任何銷售經驗。
Unless you count the bikini car wash I did in high school. But you already made me take that off my resume?
除非我在高中時穿著比基尼洗車也算。但你叫我把這段從我簡歷上刪掉了？
This job is a lot like being a waitress, except instead of pushing the fish tacos 'cause they're about to go bad,
這份工作其實跟服務生很像，只不過你不是給客人推銷快變質的魚肉玉米卷，
you're just pushing our antidepressants before the FDA finds out they may cause rectal bleeding.
你是推銷我們的抗抑郁藥，在FDA發現這藥能引起直腸出血之前趕緊賣掉。
They do?
是真的嗎？
Maybe. But like our lawyers say, the world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed.
或許吧。但就像我們律師說的，這世界上有很多東西能導致直腸出血。
Anyway, I talked you up to Dan.
我在丹面前幫你說了不少好話。
He's the guy who'll be interviewing you.
他就是面試你的那個人。
Oh, I really appreciate this. I just hope I'm not in over my head.
真是太謝謝你了。我只希望我到時不會手足無措。
You'll be fine. Just be yourself. I wish I felt more confident.
沒事的。就跟平時一樣表現自己。我真希望我能多點自信。
Penny, I wouldn't have put you up for this job if I didn't think you could handle it.
佩妮如果我覺得你不能勝任這份工作，我就不會推薦你。
Oh, thank you, but maybe I should cancel.
謝謝，但或許我該取消面試。
It's too late to cancel. You're going. But I don't know anything about pharmaceuticals.
現在取消太晚了。你一定要去。但我對醫藥沒有任何了解。
Oh, I understand. You want to do something you're already good at.
我明白了。你想從事你擅長的工作。
I know. Why don't I get you a job at the Sitting Around All Day Wearing Yoga Pants Factory?
我懂。那我何不幫你在"穿著瑜伽褲宅在家工廠"找一份工作呢？
They're comfortable.
那褲子真的很舒服嘛。
Ma, I hope you're decent. Raj is here!
媽，把衣服穿好。拉杰也在哦！
You just started seeing naked women again, and I don't want you to be confused about where the boobs should be.
你最近才開始重新看見女人裸體，我不想讓你對咪咪到底該垂到哪兒感到困惑。
Oh, hey, guys. What are you doing here?
你們好啊。你們怎么會來這里？
Uh...w-what are you doing here? I thought you moved out.
那你又怎么在這里？我以為你搬出去了。
Oh, yeah, I was going to, and then Debbie and I got to talking over dinner the other night.
我本來打算搬的，但某天晚上，我和黛比在吃飯時聊到這事。
I didn't have anyplace to go, she likes having me around, so we both said, "Why leave?" at the same time.
我沒有住的地方，她也喜歡我待在這里，所以我倆異口同聲說"那為什么還要搬？"
It was precious. It's not that precious.
無比珍貴的一段回憶啊。也沒那么珍貴吧。
I'd like to back you up, but it sounds like it was pretty precious.
我本來想支持你的但聽得起來的確彌足珍貴。
Stewie, I can't find my glasses! Be right there, Deb Deb!
圖仔，我找不到眼鏡了！馬上來，小黛黛！
They're probably on her head. Or in her neck.
眼鏡可能就在她頭上。或者在她脖子的肉里。
Listen. You staying here seems like something she would've talked to me about.
聽著。你留在這里住這件事她應該會跟我說一聲啊。
Well, maybe if you called your mother more often, you'd know.
如果你經常給你母親打電話，你早知道了。
It wouldn't kill you to pick up the phone.
打電話回家又不會少塊肉。
Any word on my stolen items? We're doing everything we can.
我被偷的物品有消息了嗎？我們在盡一切努力幫你找。
You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus.
神探福爾摩斯喜歡用可卡因來讓自己集中注意力。
But I'm sure those Cool Ranch Doritos are doing the trick.
但我確定膨化垃圾食品對你也有同樣功效。
Sheldon. Leonard! Oh, I'm so happy to see you.
謝爾頓。萊納德！見到你我太高興了。
Are you okay? Oh, I'm fine. Why did you come?
你沒事吧？沒事。你怎么來了？
What do you mean, why did I come?
你這話什么意思？
You're my boyfriend. I haven't seen you in over a month.
你是我的男朋友。我們超過一個月沒有見面了。
I just drove six hours to help you out.
我開了六個小時的車過來接你。
Don't you have anything to say besides, "Why did you come?"
你除了說"你怎么來了"就沒別的話跟我說了嗎？
I do, but...I feel uncomfortable saying it out loud in front of these police officers.
有，是有，但...在這么多警察叔叔面前大聲說出來我覺得不太妥。
Fine. Whisper it. Shotgun.
好。悄悄告訴我。我要坐前排。
