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So if you are considering going into experimental physics, my door is always open.
如果你們對實驗物理有興趣，隨時歡迎。
Once again, I'm sorry that the demonstration didn't quite work out, but now we know what happens when you accidentally spill Peach Snapple into a helium neon laser.
再次的抱歉，演示不太成功，但至少我們知道了氦氖激光管里不小心灑了桃味飲料的后果。
Short answer is...don't.
明智的做法是...別那么做。
And now to tell you about the theoretical physics department is Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Dr. Cooper? Forget it.
接下來給你們講理論物理的是謝爾頓·庫泊博士。庫泊博士？我不來。
Excuse me. Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.
謝爾頓我們可商量好了的。
It's a waste of time. I might as well explain the laws of thermo dynamics to a bunch of labradoodles.
這是浪費時間。我還不如去給一群拉布拉多犬講解熱力學理論。
If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.
要是不配合不帶你去漫畫書店。
Hello. Nice work with the laser, by the way.
大家好。我說，激光實驗做的不錯嘛。
Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student.
看著你們這些年輕的新鮮面孔，不禁想起了當年還是小研究生時我決定步入學術道路的那一刻。
Of course, I was 14.
當然，那時我才14歲。
And I'd already achieved more than most of you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime.
那時即使我9點就得睡覺，也已小有成就，令在座大多數人至今望塵莫及。
Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics.
你們中或許有一兩位具備天賦，在理論物理上有所建樹，
Although, it's more likely that you'll spend your scientific careers teaching fifth graders how to make papier mache volcanoes with baking soda lava.
當然啦，各位的科學前程將更有可能教五年級學生怎樣用烘烤蘇打粉來糊個紙火山。
Oh, good God.
老天啊。
In short, any one who told you that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics, played a cruel trick on you, a cruel trick indeed.
總之，要是有人告訴你們有朝一日能對物理做出巨大貢獻，那完全是一個殘忍的笑話，太殘忍了。
Any questions? Of course not.
有問題嗎？自然沒有了。
I weep for the future of science. Now if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out.
真為科學的未來感到悲哀。恕我不奉陪，最新的蝙蝠俠發行了。
Come, Leonard. Laser demonstration is looking pretty good now, huh?
走吧蘭納德。現在看來，那個激光器實驗還不錯吧？
I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning, there's a bracing chill in the air.
每年的這個時節真叫我傾心，樹葉轉色，空中的寒意讓人神清氣爽。
Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable.
再加上新來的一群女研究生準備在冬天稍微長點膘，使她們顯得小鳥依人、楚楚可憐。
That's right, honey, have another calzone. Daddy can wait.
這就對了嘛寶貝，再吃塊餡餅。老子可以再忍忍。
Isn't there a university policy against dating graduate students?
不是有校規嘛？不能和研究生約會的。
No, if you can talk to them, you can ask them out.
不是，只要能跟她們搭上話，你可以隨便約。
Damn, there's always a catch.
該死，陷阱真是無處不在。
Hey, guys. Hey, Leslie. So, dumb ass, I heard you made a grad student throw up last night.
好呀小伙子們。好萊斯莉。大傻冒，聽說昨晚你把一個研究生惡心吐了。
The truth can indeed be a finger down the throat of those unprepared to hear it.
其實是沒準備好講的人自己用手指摳吐的。
But why should I cater to secondrate minds?
我干嗎要去給那些二流智商的人講課？
Because firstrate minds call you dumb ass.
因為智商一流的人總喊你傻冒兒。
Oh, yeah? Well...you're a mean person.
切，是嗎？嗯...你這個毒舌婦。
Excuse me, Dr. Cooper, I'm Ramona Nowitzki. I was at your talk last night. I think you're just brilliant.
打擾下庫泊博士，我是拉蒙娜·諾維茨基，昨晚我聽了你的講課，我覺得你真是天才。
That is the prevailing opinion.
絕大多數人都這么認為。
Oh, now I'm gonna throw up.
這下我要去吐了。
Howard Wolowitz, department of engineering, codesigner of the International Space Station's Liquid Waste Disposal System.
霍華德·沃勒維茨，工程系的，參與設計了國際空間站液體廢物處理系統。
Ew. Dr. Cooper, I've read everything you've published.
嗯。庫泊博士，我拜讀了你發表的全部文章，
I especially liked your paper on grand unification using stringnetwork condensates
我特別鐘意那篇從弦網濃縮角度闡述大統一理論，
and was wondering how you determined that threedimensional stringnets provided a unified picture of fermions and gauge bosons?
我很好奇你是怎么確定3D弦網提供了費密子和規范玻色子的統一描述？
Amazing, an intelligent labradoodle.
奇跡啊！這只拉布拉多真聰明！
The fact is I'm quite close to a breakthrough in showing how neutrinos emerge from a stringnet condensate.
其實呢我離研究突破就差一點點，就快搞清楚微中子如何在弦網冷凝物中脫出了。
Oh, my God, that would change the way we view the entire physical universe. It's what I do.
天啦，那會顛覆全球對整個物理界的認識。我就是干這個的
You know, the PishkinWolowitz Liquid Waste Disposal System is turning a few heads as well. Again, ew.
你知道，帕什金沃勒維茨(兩名設計者)廢液處理系統也震動了一些人。又來了，惡心。
You know, I'd love to hear more about how you intend to add neutrinos. Could we get a cup of coffee sometime?
我很想聽你講講怎樣加入微中子，啥時候去喝杯咖啡吧？
I don't drink coffee. I do. I love me a cup of Joe.
我從不喝咖啡。我喝，我最愛喝咖啡了。
Well, it doesn't have to be coffee. How about dinner? I do eat dinner.
不一定非要喝咖啡，一起晚餐如何？晚飯我還是要吃的。
Great. I know a terrific little Italian place.
那就好，我知道有家意大利餐廳超棒。
I never eat in strange restaurants. One runs the risk of nonstandard cutlery.
我從不去陌生的餐廳吃飯，不合格的餐具危害生命。
Excuse me? Sheldon lives in fear of the threetined fork.
啊，什么？謝爾頓對三個分叉的叉子有恐懼心理。
Three tines is not a fork. Three tines is a trident. Forks are for eating, tridents are for ruling the seven seas.
三個分叉的根本不能叫叉子，那叫三叉戟。叉是用來吃東西的，而三叉戟是用來統治七海的。
What if I brought food to your place?
要不我把吃的帶去你那兒？
That would be acceptable. On Mondays, I eat Thai food. Mee krob and chicken statay with extra peanut sauce from Siam Palace.
這倒行。周一我吃泰國餐，脆炸米粉和沙爹雞肉串加上暹羅宮的花生醬。
You got it. I already have your address. What a nice girl.
沒問題。我有你家的地址。多好的姑娘啊。
Sheldon, do you have any idea what just happened?
謝爾頓你到底有沒有搞懂剛才怎么回事？
Yes. Apparently I'm getting a free dinner.
當然，顯然我可以吃頓免費晚餐。
Oh, yeah, no, this thing's majorly out of order. See? Sorry. That's okay. Guess I'm taking the stairs.
不好意思，這東西基本上不能用啦。看吧，真不好意思。沒關系，那我走樓梯。
Where you going? 4A.Oh, are you here to see Leonard? No, Dr. Cooper. Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
你去哪家呢？4A。是來找蘭納德的吧？不是，我找庫泊博士。你說的是謝爾頓·庫泊博士？
We're having dinner. Sheldon Cooper? Tall, thin, looks a little like a giant praying mantis?
我們要共進晚餐。你確信是謝爾頓·庫泊？那個瘦瘦高高長得像巨人版螳螂煞星的？
He is cute, isn't he? Sheldon Cooper?
他好帥的是吧？真的是謝爾頓·庫泊？
Hi, Leonard. Hey, Ramona. Come on in. Thanks. Where should I put this?
你好蘭納德。你好拉蒙娜，快進來。謝謝，這些東西放哪兒呢？
Uh, the kitchen is fine. Hey, what are you doing?
放廚房就好了。你來有事嗎？
I need to see this. The viewing area is right over there.
這好戲我不能錯過呀。觀眾席在那邊。
Sheldon, your girl...date...person...Ramona is here.
謝爾頓你女朋...約會對...拉蒙娜來了。
Oh, hello. Oh, sorry I'm late. I just got so caught up reading the draft of your latest paper.
你好啊。不好意思我遲到了，我看到你剛發表的論文草本看得太入迷了。
Did you enjoy the humorous footnote where I illustrate mirror symmetry by likening it to the Flash playing tennis with himself? So funny.
我對鏡象對稱性作了一個腳注說明，把它比喻成閃電和自己打網球，你體會到其中的幽默了嗎？太好笑了。
But the idea that you might be able to incorporate gravity, I have to tell you, I found it physically exhilarating.
不得不提的是你關于重力組合可能性的猜想真的是讓我非常興奮。
My hypotheses tend to have that effect.
我的假設通常都有這種效果。
I'm sorry I didn't bring enough for your friends. I assumed we were going to be alone.
不好意思，我沒給你朋友帶吃的。我以為就我們兩人。
Oh, yeah. No, we were just going. To watch, right?
喔沒錯，我們正要...準備看戲，不是嗎？
No, come on, now, we're going out. Oh, come on, we'll be quiet.
不，我們馬上就出門了。別這樣嘛，我們不說話成嗎？
Let's go, let's go. Okay, you two. Have a nice...whatever this is.
我們還是走吧，走吧。好了，祝你們倆的...過個好...不管什么吧。
Okay, you guys, look, I know this is none of my business, but I just...I have to ask what's Sheldon's deal?
你們聽好，我清楚這事壓根跟我沒關系，但是我還是要忍不住想問謝爾頓的取向到底是啥？
What do you mean "deal"? You know, like what's his deal? Is it girls...? Guys...? Sock puppets...?
什么取向啊？就是說，他喜歡哪種類型的？女人，男人，充氣娃娃？
Honestly, we've been operating under the assumption that he has no deal.
說實話，在我們的邏輯中他根本沒有取向。
Come on, everybody has a deal.
別這樣說，每個人都有喜歡的取向啊。
Not Sheldon. Over the years, we've formulated many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
除了謝爾頓。多年來我們通過各種理論試圖探究他將如何繁衍后代。我主張的是有絲分裂。
I'm sorry? I believe one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and split into two Sheldons.
什么？我相信總有一天當謝爾頓吃到一定量的泰國菜，他就會分裂成兩個謝爾頓。
On the other hand, I think Sheldon might be the larval form of his species, and someday he'll spin a cocoon and emerge two months later with moth wings and an exoskeleton.
另一方面，我在想謝爾頓可能是他這個物種的幼蟲狀態，有一天他會做繭，不出倆月就破繭成蝶。
Okay, well, thanks for the nightmares.
謝謝你倆給我講恐怖故事。
Hey, do you want to hang out with us?
要不我們一起出去逛逛。
What are you guys gonna do?
你們有什么節目？
My mom is making a brisket tonight.
我媽媽今晚作了胸肉。
The one with the little onions?
那種放了小洋蔥的？
Yeah, I'm busy, so...Good night. Her loss. Let's go.
不好意思我很忙，晚安吧。不去是她的損失，我們走吧。
Brisket party! B to the R to the ISK...To the E to the T...Ooh... Don't.
胸肉聚會耶，胸是胸肉的胸，肉是胸肉的肉，哦也。得了吧。
Hey, aren't you having breakfast? Yes.
你不吃早餐嗎？我吃的。
Are you experimenting with nutritional suppositories again? Not in these pants.
你又在搗鼓那些營養栓劑啊？穿這條褲子，不干那活兒。
So...how'd it go with Ramona last night? Oh, great. She's smart, insightful and she has a very unique way of, you know, revering me.
話說你昨天和拉蒙娜玩的咋樣？爽歪了，她好聰明，好有見解，而且用一種十分獨特的方式崇拜我。
Here's your spinach mushroom omelet. Thank you. Did anyone touch it?
這是你的菠菜蘑菇煎蛋卷。謝謝。有誰碰過這個嗎？
Gloves were worn by everyone involved. I was vigilant.
每個人手上都帶上了手套。我一直很小心。
Ramona pointed out that I've been wasting 20 minutes a day standing on cafeteria lines.
拉蒙娜跟我說，我每次浪費20分鐘在食堂排隊，
Time which would be better spent tackling the great physics problems of our day.
這些時間用來攻克世界級的物理課題會更好。
You don't tackle the big issues, Ramona. You fence with them. En garde. Riposte. Touche.
哎，我們不是攻克難題拉蒙娜，是要和它們周旋。準備好，殺個回馬槍。說的好。
Morning. Hi, Leslie. So, Sheldon, I see you're organizing your papers for the Smithsonian Museum of Dumbassery.
早上好。你好 Leslie。謝爾頓，我看到你在為Smithsonian的那個傻冒兒博物館趕論文呢。
There won't be any room until they get rid of the permanent Leslie Winkle exhibit. Oh, good one.
在撤下萊斯莉·溫可的永久展覽前，那里沒有多余的展廳。喔，正點。
I see you got a grad student to fight your battles for you. I'll let you keep your lunch money today.
你居然找了一個研究生替你出頭。今天就饒你一馬，不收你的午餐費了。
Okay, Dr. Cooper is on the verge of a breakthrough. If you're going to stay, you'll have to be respectful and quiet.
庫泊博士馬上要取得突破性的進展，如果你想待在這里，你就得乖乖的聽他的。
Wait for me. So have you worked out the neutrino issue?
等我一下。微中子問題解決了嗎？
Well, to paraphrase Mozart, all the subatomic particles are there. I just have to put them in the right order.
為了詮釋莫扎特，所有的次原子微粒都齊備了。我只需要把他們按順序排列一下。
You're so witty. Aren't I?
你可真機敏呀。誰說不是呢。
