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Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed Mommy and ran Grandma over with a reindeer.
因為在過去的十分鐘里 《圣誕老人進城了》《我看見媽媽親吻圣誕老人》然后《奶奶被馴鹿撞死了》。（皆為膾炙人口的圣誕歌曲）
I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.
我有個酒鬼叔叔也會做這三件事啊。怎么沒人唱歌歌頌他呢。
Maybe you'd like it more if you thought of Santa as a superhero and his power is bringing joy to children.
如果你把圣誕老人看做是超級英雄，有給孩子們帶來歡樂的超能力，你會喜歡點。
My uncle was accused of that, too. It turned out to be legal in Oklahoma.
我叔叔也這樣啊，結果被指控了。結果在俄州那是合法的。
Okay, new subject. Let's talk about presents. What did you get Amy?
好吧，換個話題。我們聊聊禮物吧。你要送艾米什么呀？
Oh, we're not exchanging gifts.
我們不會互送禮物。
Come on, Sheldon, you have to get her something.
拜托，謝爾頓，送禮物給女朋友是一定要的啊。
Why should I? She knows that I don't like Christmas, and yet, every year, she forces me to celebrate it.
憑什么？她明知道我不喜歡圣誕節，可是每一年都強迫我一起慶祝。
Not only am I going to this foolish dinner against my will. At the Christmas tree lot, there was mistletoe, and she kissed me under it in public.
不光是這次逼我參加白癡的圣誕晚餐。之前在圣誕樹賣場那有一株槲寄生，她居然當眾親了我。
Like we were the stars of a Tijuana sex show.
（圣誕習俗，兩人站在榭寄生下得親吻）我們就像墨西哥性愛秀的表演者。
She's just excited about the holidays.
她只是對節日感到興奮而已啦。
Yes, and she's not taking my feelings into account at all. Maybe it's time I teach her a lesson.
是啊，而她完全不顧及我的感受。或許是時候給她點教訓了。
How?
怎么做？
It'd have to be something heinous, something that makes her as miserable as she's making me. Oh, I've got it. This is good.
一定要給她來點狠招，極其邪惡的那種，就像她害我的那樣。我想到了。這主意太妙了。
What?
是什么？
I'm going to buy her a present.
我要送她一份禮物。
Yeah, you're gonna have to walk me through that.
好吧，你得好好給我講解一下。
With gift-giving, there's an implied social contract. If I show up tonight with a present, and she doesn't have one for me, she'll feel terrible.
禮品饋贈隱含了一種無形的社會契約。如果我今晚帶著禮物去她家，而她卻沒有為我準備禮物，那她就會內疚。
