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殘忍而美麗的情誼:The Kite Runner 追風箏的人(94)

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“Anyway, I came home and--” She was crying. “Excuse me.” I heard her put the phone down. Blow her nose. “Sorry,” she came back on, sounding hoarse. “When I came home, I saw my mother had had a stroke, the right side of her face was paralyzed and... I felt so guilty. She didn’t deserve that.“不管怎樣,我回家了,并且……”她在哭,“對不起。”我聽見她放低話筒,擦著鼻子。“對不起,”她又開始了,聲音有點嘶啞,“我回到家里,發現媽媽中風了,她右半邊臉麻痹……我覺得很內疚。她本來不會這樣的。”
“Padar moved us to California shortly after.” A silence followed.“過后不久,爸爸就舉家搬到加利福尼亞來了。”跟著一陣沉默。
“How are you and your father now?” I said.“你和你爸爸現在怎么樣?”我說。
“We’ve always had our differences, we still do, but I’m grateful he came for me that day. I really believe he saved me.” She paused. “So, does what I told you bother you?”“我們一直有分歧,現在還有,但我很感激他那天去找我。我真的相信他救了我。”她停頓,“那么,我所說的讓你為難嗎?”
“A little,” I said. I owed her the truth on this one. I couldn’t lie to her and say that my pride, my iftikhar, wasn’t stung at all that she had been with a man, whereas I had never taken a woman to bed. It did bother me a bit, but I had pondered this quite a lot in the weeks before I asked Baba to go khastegari. And in the end the question that always came back to me was this: How could I, of all people, chastise someone for their past?“有一點。”我說。這次我對她說了真話。我不能欺騙她,在聽到她跟男人上床之后,說我的尊嚴毫發無傷是假的,畢竟我從來沒把女人帶上床。這讓我非常為難,但在讓爸爸替我求婚之前,我已經想了好幾個星期。而每次到最后,總是回到同一個問題:我憑什么去指責別人的過去?
“Does it bother you enough to change your mind?”“你很為難,要改變主意嗎?”
“No, Soraya. Not even close,” I said. “Nothing you said changes anything. I want us to marry.”“不,索拉雅。沒那么嚴重。”我說,“你無論說什么,都不會改變任何事情。我想娶你。”
She broke into fresh tears.她又哭起來。
I envied her. Her secret was out. Spoken. Dealt with. I opened my mouth and almost told her how I’d betrayed Hassan, lied, driven him out, and destroyed a forty-year relationship between Baba and Ali. But I didn’t. I suspected there were many ways in which Soraya Taheri was a better person than me. Courage was just one of them.我妒忌她。她的秘密公開了,說出來了,得到解決了。我張開嘴巴,差點告訴她,我如何背叛了哈桑,對他說謊,把他趕出家門,還毀壞了爸爸和阿里四十年的情誼。但我沒有。我懷疑,在很多方面,索拉雅?塔赫里都比我好得多。勇氣只是其中之一。

“Anyway, I came home and--” She was crying. “Excuse me.” I heard her put the phone down. Blow her nose. “Sorry,” she came back on, sounding hoarse. “When I came home, I saw my mother had had a stroke, the right side of her face was paralyzed and... I felt so guilty. She didn’t deserve that.
“Padar moved us to California shortly after.” A silence followed.
“How are you and your father now?” I said.
“We’ve always had our differences, we still do, but I’m grateful he came for me that day. I really believe he saved me.” She paused. “So, does what I told you bother you?”
“A little,” I said. I owed her the truth on this one. I couldn’t lie to her and say that my pride, my iftikhar, wasn’t stung at all that she had been with a man, whereas I had never taken a woman to bed. It did bother me a bit, but I had pondered this quite a lot in the weeks before I asked Baba to go khastegari. And in the end the question that always came back to me was this: How could I, of all people, chastise someone for their past?
“Does it bother you enough to change your mind?”
“No, Soraya. Not even close,” I said. “Nothing you said changes anything. I want us to marry.”
She broke into fresh tears.
I envied her. Her secret was out. Spoken. Dealt with. I opened my mouth and almost told her how I’d betrayed Hassan, lied, driven him out, and destroyed a forty-year relationship between Baba and Ali. But I didn’t. I suspected there were many ways in which Soraya Taheri was a better person than me. Courage was just one of them.


“不管怎樣,我回家了,并且……”她在哭,“對不起。”我聽見她放低話筒,擦著鼻子。“對不起,”她又開始了,聲音有點嘶啞,“我回到家里,發現媽媽中風了,她右半邊臉麻痹……我覺得很內疚。她本來不會這樣的。”
“過后不久,爸爸就舉家搬到加利福尼亞來了。”跟著一陣沉默。
“你和你爸爸現在怎么樣?”我說。
“我們一直有分歧,現在還有,但我很感激他那天去找我。我真的相信他救了我。”她停頓,“那么,我所說的讓你為難嗎?”
“有一點。”我說。這次我對她說了真話。我不能欺騙她,在聽到她跟男人上床之后,說我的尊嚴毫發無傷是假的,畢竟我從來沒把女人帶上床。這讓我非常為難,但在讓爸爸替我求婚之前,我已經想了好幾個星期。而每次到最后,總是回到同一個問題:我憑什么去指責別人的過去?
“你很為難,要改變主意嗎?”
“不,索拉雅。沒那么嚴重。”我說,“你無論說什么,都不會改變任何事情。我想娶你。”
她又哭起來。
我妒忌她。她的秘密公開了,說出來了,得到解決了。我張開嘴巴,差點告訴她,我如何背叛了哈桑,對他說謊,把他趕出家門,還毀壞了爸爸和阿里四十年的情誼。但我沒有。我懷疑,在很多方面,索拉雅?塔赫里都比我好得多。勇氣只是其中之一。
重點單詞   查看全部解釋    
guilty ['gilti]

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adj. 有罪的,內疚的

 
pride [praid]

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n. 自豪,驕傲,引以自豪的東西,自尊心
vt

 
silence ['sailəns]

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n. 沉默,寂靜
vt. 使安靜,使沉默

 
chastise [tʃæs'taiz]

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vt. 笞責,懲罰

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stroke [strəuk]

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n. 筆畫,擊打,一筆(畫)連續的動作,中風,

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deserve [di'zə:v]

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vi. 應該得到
vt. 應受,值得

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bother ['bɔðə]

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v. 使惱怒,使不安,煩擾,費心
n. 煩擾,

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runner ['rʌnə]

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n. 賽跑的人,跑步者

 
grateful ['greitfəl]

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adj. 感激的,感謝的

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