I was awkward in middle school: bony and athletic, with a high grade in science and a low one in self-esteem. Though I had friends, I didn't fit the mold of popularity. I was picked last in flag football and I sometimes ate lunch by myself.
中學時代的我很令人尷尬:擅長運動,卻骨瘦如柴;理科成績好,自尊心卻不強。雖然我有朋友,但我并不是人人都喜歡的那種類型。在奪旗橄欖球比賽中,我總是最后一個被選中上場的。有時候,我還會獨自一人吃午餐。
I remember the day Brittany came to our school. She was from the Bay Area, and told us stories of how she had snuck out at night to meet older boys and smoke in the park. Her teeth were crooked, and she was a little overweight. Not that mattered though, because she walked around like she was better than all of us put together. She was incredibly intimidating, outspoken, and aggressive—a person you didn't want to cross.
我仍記得布里塔尼來我們學校的那天。她從舊金山灣區轉學而來,當時還給我們講了她以前如何在夜里溜出去跟年長的男生會面并在公園里吸煙那些事。她的牙齒長得歪歪扭扭,人也有點胖。不過這些都沒關系,因為她走起路來趾高氣揚,好像我們所有人加在一起都不如她似的。她極有震懾力,說話直來直去,還總是一副咄咄逼人的樣子——她就是一個你不想去招惹的人。
Around Brittany, I tried my best to go unnoticed. Standing out or stealing her spotlight could only result in one thing: confrontation. I considered myself a chameleon, blending in with my surrounding and remaining the shy sixth-grader I had always been. I wore skorts and Tommy Hilfiger sneakers with red and blue laces, and my blond hair was frequently in a ponytail. Brittany and her friends wore shorts with words like "Hottie" on the seat. She dyed her brown hair black and got a perm like the other popular girls. All the boys were completely smitten with her.
只要在布里塔尼旁邊,我就盡量保持低調。太引人注目或搶她的風頭只會有一個下場,那就是與她發生沖突。我覺得自己就像一條變色龍,與周圍的環境融為一體,保持著自己作為一個六年級學生一貫的靦腆形象。我穿裙式短褲和鑲有紅藍相間的蕾絲花邊的湯米·希爾費格牌球鞋,一頭金發總是扎成馬尾。而布里塔尼和她的朋友們卻穿臀部印有諸如“辣妹”字樣的短褲。她還像其他很潮的女生一樣把一頭棕色的頭發染黑燙卷。所有男生都徹底被她迷倒了。
Although I could run for a touchdown, Brittany was always the first girl picked in flag football at recess and I was lucky if I was picked at all. I was thrown the ball while she stood with the quarterback, chatting about the last keg party she'd gone to. I didn't even know what came in a keg and had never contemplated drinking. She was flirtatious and mysterious while I was a declaration of what good parenting and strong Christian morals could produce. I had never been kissed, nor did I understand the tactics to get as far as she had gone with a boy.
雖然我可以持球觸地得分,然而在課間的奪旗橄欖球比賽中,布里塔尼卻總是第一個被挑中上場的球員,而我若能被選中,就算我的運氣。別人向我傳球的時候,她卻在跟四分衛大談自己最近參加的啤酒宴會。那時我還不知道啤酒宴會是什么樣子,也從沒想過要喝酒。她舉止輕佻,很是神秘,而我則是良好家教和嚴格的基督教道德準則所能培養出的典范。從沒有人吻過我,我也不懂那些伎倆,不知道如何像她一樣與男生交往。