評論
打印
Sometimes real fear was the problem. Dr Watsa was quite flummoxed by the number of missives he got about masturbation, which made up half his postbag. Would it drain your strength away, or make you lose your hair? Would it shorten the penis? (“You talk every day, has your tongue become smaller?”) Would it make you fail exams? What if you did it on a day that the astrologer didn’t recommend?
有時真正的恐懼才是問題所在。沃特薩醫生對收到的信件十分不解，因為咨詢關于自慰的來信占了一半。自慰會讓人精力枯竭？還是會讓認脫發？會導致陰莖萎縮嗎？(“人天天都說話，舌頭有變小嗎？”)自慰會讓你考試不及格嗎？如果占星家不讓自慰卻做了怎么辦？
With infinite patience, Dr Watsa explained that it was harmless, perfectly normal, and by the way, astrologers were frauds. (Like a giant sigh, “It’s Normal!” was the title of his collected columns.) In Britain Ms Whitehorn defused the ever-present social terrors, remembering her own cringe-making attempts to navigate smart London.
沃特薩醫生耐心地解釋說，自慰無害，完全正常的，順便說一句，占星家都是騙人的。(他的專欄集標題名為“這很正常“，就像一聲長長的嘆息)。在英國，懷特霍恩女士化解了一直存在的社會恐懼，她回憶了自己為駕馭時髦的倫敦而所做的努力。
What if you dropped a brick in a conversation—making some crass joke about money, say, when talking to a bankrupt? Don’t try to pick it up again, she wrote; keep your eyes steady, and pour your attention on the other person. What if your knickers fell down in a public place? Kick them off, scoop them into your pocket and walk on, as if nothing has happened.
如果在談話中不小心觸及雷區——比如在和一個破產的人聊天時談一些關于金錢的粗俗笑話？“別試圖圓過去了，”她寫道；保持目光平穩，并將注意力集中在對方身上。如果你的內褲在公共場合掉下來怎么辦？脫下就好，把內衣放進口袋里，然后繼續走，就像什么都沒發生過一樣。
Inadequacy could be almost as bad as fear. Nothing, Dr Watsa knew, could stop young men worrying about their penis size, but he tried. To one, who sent anxious measurements of his organ at rest and play, he wrote: “Stop sounding like a tailor. Your genitals will look after themselves.”
缺陷幾乎和恐懼一樣糟糕。沃特薩醫生深諳，沒有什么能阻止年輕男性擔心自己陰莖大小，但他依然努力緩解這種憂慮。有一個人焦急地把自己陰莖在疲軟和勃起時的數據寄給他，他寫道:“別像個裁縫似的。生殖器會照顧自己的。
Would it help, another asked, if he pulled his penis for 15 minutes a day while reciting a prayer? “If that was right, most men’s penises would be hitting their knees.”
還有人問道，如果他每天一邊背誦禱文一邊拉扯陰莖15分鐘，會有驚喜出現嗎？“如果這法子可行，大多數男人的陰莖都能打到膝蓋了。”
譯文由可可原創，僅供學習交流使用，未經許可請勿轉載。
