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The Laws of Work
工作法則
After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
漲工資以后，到月底你兜里剩下的錢會比以前還少。
Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
不要讓自己成為不可或缺的人。因為如果那樣的話，你就不會得到提升了。
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
每天早上一上班就去拍馬屁，包你一整天過得順順當當。
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a fool about it.
如果一開始不能成功，再試一次，然后就放棄，沒必要一直為此犯傻。
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights.
如果不能在第一天把工作做好，就每晚加班吧。
It doesn't matter what you do; it only matters what you say you've done and what you're going to do.
你做什么并不重要，重要的是你說你做過什么以及要做什么。
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
你忍的越多就會有更多要忍的。
There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.
老板下班要搭你的車回家時，要保證你的車廂地板上有啤酒罐滾動。
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
老板們在談到提高生產效率時，總是不包括他們自己的。
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
當你表情肅穆而且手里拿著寫字夾板的時候，你就可以去想去的任何地方。
Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
幫你的老板躲開他的老板的監督。
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
所有東西都可以歸入“雜項”類。
Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a dinner hour.
會議的結束時間和雞尾酒會的開始時間都是不能延遲的。
To err is human; to forgive is not our policy.
犯錯人皆難免，寬恕不是我們的政策。
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.
每個人都能做一定量的工作，只要這工作不是他/她該做的那份。
Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.
沒有錯誤的重要信件在郵寄過程中會產生錯誤。
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
如果你的表現夠好，所有的工作都會指派給你；如果你夠精明，你就能逃避掉。
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
去參加會議的人往往都是不該去的人。
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.
不到最后一分鐘，什么事也做不好。
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
在工作中，一個人的權威性是和他拿的筆的數量成反比的。
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
你不知道該做什么時，就加快步伐并做出憂心忡忡的樣子好了。
Following the rules will not get the job done.
遵守規則并不能把工作做好。
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.
把工作做好不能成為不遵守規則的借口。
No matter how much you do, you never do enough.
不管做了多少，你做的總是不夠的。
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.
最后一個辭職或被解雇的人要為所有的錯誤負責。
The first 90% of a project takes 10% of the time, the last 10% takes the other 90% of the time.
一項工作的前90%用掉10%的工時，做后10%的工作則要花去剩下的90%的工時。
