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And I was living in a basement apartment, I had no money, I had no heat, no air, I had a mattress on the floor and the apartment was infested with fleas. And I was soul-searching, I was like, why is she suddenly gone, and there are fleas here? I don't understand, there must be a purpose, and wouldn't it be so convenient if we could pick up the phone and call God, and ask these questions.
當時我住在地下室的公寓里，我沒有錢，沒有暖氣，沒有新鮮空氣，只是在地板上鋪一個墊子，房間里到處都是跳騷。我感到困惑不已，我在想，“為什么她突然走了？為什么我住在滿是跳騷的屋子里？”我無法理解，但一定有理由的，要是能直接拿起電話問上帝不是太好了嗎？
And I started writing and what poured out of me was an imaginary conversation with God, which was one-sided, and I finished writing it and I looked at it and I said to myself, and I hadn't even been doing stand-up, ever, there was no club in town. I said, "I'm gonna do this on the Tonight Show With Johnny Carson"—at the time he was the king—"and I'm gonna be the first woman in the history of the show to be called over to sit down." And several years later, I was the first woman in the history of the show, and only woman in the history of the show to sit down, because of that phone conversation with God that I wrote.
于是我開始些東西，腦海中涌現出一段與上帝的對話，那是只有我一個人的獨白。寫完之后，我看著我寫的東西，對自己講話。那時，我還沒有開始做單人脫口秀節目，因為當時紐奧良沒有俱樂部。我說，我將要在“今夜秀”上和約翰尼·卡森一起表演這一段。他當時是主持界大王，我將成為該節目史上第一個被他訪問的女性。數年之后，我成了該節目史上第一位，也是唯一一位和約翰尼一起坐下被訪問的女性，全是因為我寫的“與上帝打電話對話”的劇本。
And I started this path of stand-up and it was successful and it was great, but it was hard, because I was trying to please everybody and I had this secret that I was keeping, that I was gay. And I thought if people found out they wouldn't like me, they wouldn't laugh at me.
從此我開始做單人脫口秀節目，非常成功，非常棒，但也非常艱難，因為我想取悅每一個人，我守著自己是同志的秘密，我想每個人要是發現我是同性戀，就不會喜歡我了，還會嘲笑我。
Then my career turned into—I got my own sitcom, and that was very successful, another level of success. And I thought, what if they find out I'm gay, then they'll never watch, and this was a long time ago, this was when we just had white presidents—this was back, many years ago—and I finally decided that I was living with so much shame, and so much fear, that I just couldn't live that way anymore, and I decided to come out and make it creative.
接著，我有了自己的喜劇，也很成功，更進一步的成功。我又在想，要是人們發現我是同性戀了，該怎么辦？他們再也不會看我的節目了。這是很早以前事情，你們可能不知道，這是我們的總統還是白人的時候，那是多年前的事了。我最后決定，我一直都是帶著羞恥和恐懼而活，我不能再這么活著了。我最終決定將這個秘密公之于眾，要有創造性。
