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22 Killing with Kindness
以柔克剛
Sometimes, it's difficult t behave like a gentleman.
有時，表現的像個紳士并不容易，
It's especially hard when the person talking to you is belligerent and trying to belittle you in front of others.
當你面對一個好斗而又極力在眾人前貶低你的人時尤為如此。
You might feel like beating him and burying him as deep as bedrock, but don't.
你也許很想揍他一頓，然后把他埋得深如一塊基石，但還是別那樣。
Remember, violence begets more violence.
記住，暴力只會招致更多的暴力。
Of course, it's easier said than done.
當然，這話說起來容易做起來難。
My cousin Tom comes drunk to our family reunions every year and always manages to insult my family members.
每年我的表兄湯姆都會醉醺醺地前來參加家庭聚會，而且總是設法將我的家人羞辱一番。
“Your nose is looking more and more like the beak of a bird,” he would tell my daughter.
“你的鼻子越來越像鳥嘴了。”他對我的女兒如是說。
“Those red beads don't look becoming on you,” he would say to my wife.
“那些紅珠子帶在你身上不好看。”他對我的妻子這般說。
“Is that your beard or a bird's nest,” he would ask me.
“你那是胡子還是鳥窩？”他會這樣問我。
I think, deep in his heart, Tom has always begrudged me.
我想在湯姆的內心深處，他一貫是嫉妒我的。
His occasional smile belies his true feelings of envy.
他臉上偶爾出現的微笑掩蓋了他的嫉妒心。
I wish that someone would shine a beam of light in his eyes and ask him why he feels this way.
我真希望有人能讓他的眼前亮一束光，問問他為什么要嫉妒。
In any event, because I must act as the host of the reunion on behalf of my parents, I have to be on my best behavior.
無論如何，我得代表父母主持家庭聚會，因此我必須舉止得體，令人無可挑剔。
As my mother keeps reminding me, I must bear the responsibility of keeping things friendly.
正如母親時常提醒我的，我必須負責營造一種和睦相處的家庭氣氛。
To tell you the truth, I wouldn't have agreed to be the host if I had known it was going to be like this beforehand.
說實話，要是事先知道做主人會是這樣，我就不會答應這差事了。
Well, this year, I decided to change my strategy with Tom.
不過今年，我覺得改變對湯姆的戰略。
Instead of reacting to his insults with anger, I tried to befuddle him with kind words.
對他的羞辱，我非但不會火冒三丈，還會用甜言蜜語來迷惑他。
Strangely enough, when he becomes befuddled, he can't speak and he just walks away.
奇怪的是，他被我弄得困惑不解時，竟一聲不吭的走開了。
The kindness just kills him. It's truly a sight to behold.
那番甜言蜜語反倒把他給鎮住了。真是值得一看的洋相啊！
