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3. Don't fire back by criticizing your critic. Your comments will just sound defensive, and you'll escalate the exchange. This urge is very difficult to resist, because the impulse to justify and attack is strong when you feel criticized, but it just isn't helpful, and it certainly isn’t effective.
不要批評你的批評者來反擊。 你的話只會聽上去有防御心，而且你將會將“交火”升級。這樣的沖動很難抵制，因?yàn)橐碚摗⒐魧Ψ降臎_動在你感覺受到批評時是很強(qiáng)烈，但這并沒有幫助，也肯定是沒有效果的。
4. Delay your reaction. Count to ten, take a deep breath, sleep on it, wait until the next day to send that email…any kind of delay is good. A friend told me that she has a rule for herself: when she's upset about something that happened at her children's school, she won't let herself do anything about it for three days – and usually she decides that no action is better than action.
延遲你的反應(yīng)。 數(shù)到10、做深呼吸、隔一宿、等到第二天再發(fā)出那封電子郵件。任何類別的延遲都有幫助。一位朋友曾告訴我一條她自己的規(guī)定：當(dāng)她對某件發(fā)生在她的孩子學(xué)校力的事情感到生氣，她讓自己3天什么也不做--而且往往她認(rèn)為不采取行動比行動更好。
5. Explain honestly the reason for your actions. Sometimes it's tempting to re-characterize your actual feelings and motives. Usually, though, that just complicates things more. It becomes impossible to have an honest exchange.
誠實(shí)地解釋你的行為。有時候，改變你的實(shí)際的感受和意圖是很誘人的做法。但通常這只會讓事情更復(fù)雜化，讓誠實(shí)的交流沒有可能。
