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I have a very hard time being criticized, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for the Big Girl to say something like,"You forgot to remind me to bring my library book," to send me into a tirade. "What do you mean…it's not my responsibility…I didn’t know Wednesday was Library Day…" etc., etc.
對我哪怕是最微小的一個批評、糾正或指責，我都會很難接受——而且我會做出十分憤怒的反應。在職業中，我會將這種本能遏制住，但是在家里卻難以做到。只需要大女兒說類似：“你忘記提醒我要帶圖書館圖書”就能讓我言辭激烈。“你是什么意思..這不是我的事..我又不知道星期三是圖書館日...”諸如此類的話。
More and more, I see the connection between perfectionism, control, and anger. Zoikes, how I try to be more mild-mannered and easy-going! Here are some of the strategies that I try to use to accept criticism. If I manage to use them, they never fail me, but it can be hard to have the mindfulness needed to apply them.
我越來越發現完美主義、控制和憤怒之間的關系。啊，我是多么努力在要做到更溫文爾雅、更隨和！下面是我用來接受批評時的策略中的一些。如果我用上它們，就絕對不會讓我失望，但是要有一個清醒頭腦去用它們卻是一件困難的事情。
1. Listen to what a critic is saying. Really listen, try to understand that point of view, don’t just nod while you formulate your retorts.
聽一聽批評者在說什么。真正傾聽，試圖了解觀點，不要一邊點頭，一邊準備自己的反駁。
2. Don't be defensive. This is the toughest step for me. With my writing, for example, I always have to take a deep breath before reading an edit letter or meeting with an editor, to remind myself, "I welcome criticism. This person is helping me. I’m eager to hear how to improve my book/article/post." Act the way you want to feel! That's my Third Commandment. Along the same lines…
不要用防御心理。對我來說這是最難的一步。例如，在我寫作時，我總要在閱讀編輯的信或和編輯見面前深吸一口氣，來提醒自己：“我歡迎批評。這個人在幫助我。我渴望聽一聽如何改善我的書/文章/帖子的話”。 你希望獲得怎樣的感受就怎樣去做！這是我的第三條戒律。同理...
