評論
打印
Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood
可預(yù)測的成年危機(jī)
Gail Sheehy
蓋爾·希伊
Although I have indicated the ages when Americans are likely to go through each stage and the differences between men and women where they are striking, do not take the ages too seriously. The stages are the thing, and most particularly the sequence. Here is the briefest outline of the developmental ladder.
雖然我曾指出過美國人經(jīng)歷每個(gè)人生階段時(shí)的大概年齡，以及男人與女人在哪些年齡段差異性較為明顯，但是請不要過分在意這些年齡。人生各個(gè)階段才是真正重要的，尤其是它們的次序。下面是對人生發(fā)展階段的最為簡潔的勾勒：
Pulling up roots
離家
Before 18, the motto is loud and clear: "I have to get away from my parents." But the words are seldom connected to action. Generally still safely part of our families, even if away at school, we feel our autonomy to be subject to erosion from moment to moment.
18歲以前，年輕人的口號很響亮也很明確：“我必須離開父母。”但是這些□號很少被付諸行動(dòng)。一般說來，實(shí)際上我們還是家庭的一部分，即使離家待在學(xué)校，我們也會(huì)時(shí)不時(shí)地感到我們的獨(dú)立自主性正被削弱。
After 18, we begin Pulling Up Roots in earnest. College, military service, and short-term travels are all customary vehicles our society provides for the first round trips between family and a base of one's own. In the attempt to separate our view of the world from our family's view, despite vigorous protestations to the contrary—"I know exactly what I want!"一we cast about for any beliefs we can call our own. And in the process of testing those beliefs we are often drawn to fads, preferably those most mysterious and inaccessible to our parents.
18歲以后，我們開始真正地脫離家庭。大學(xué)、兵役、短期旅行都是社會(huì)為我們提供的常見的“交通工具”，供我們第一次在家庭和自己的“基地”之間往返旅行。在試圖將自己的世界觀與家庭的世界觀區(qū)分開來的過程中，盡管我們擺出一副雄心勃勃的樣子聲明——“我知道自己想要什么”，實(shí)際上我們常常為尋求所謂的自己的信念而絞盡腦汁。而在檢驗(yàn)?zāi)切┬?念的過程中，我們又常常會(huì)被一時(shí)的風(fēng)尚吸引，尤其是那些極其神秘的、我們的父輩難以理解的事物。
Whatever tentative memberships we try out in the world, the fear haunts us that we are really kids who cannot take care of ourselves. We cover that fear with acts of defiance and mimicked confidence. For allies to replace our parents, we turn to our contemporaries. They become conspirators.
無論我們試圖在外充當(dāng)什么角色，我們始終擺脫不了一種恐懼，那就是：我們實(shí)際上還是一群沒有能力照顧自己的孩子。于是我們用叛逆的行為和裝出的自信來掩蓋內(nèi)心的恐懼。為了尋找能夠替代父母的支持者，我們轉(zhuǎn)向了同齡人。他們于是成了志同道合的人。
