評論
打印
Hey I'm learning a lot now. This is wonderful. This is fun.
我學到了很多 這真有意思
Because with one, it's"a fixed mindset", in Dweck's words.
因為 一個是“既定思維模式” 如徳韋克所說
it's the malleable, changing, ongoing, developing mindset.
是種可拓展的 時刻改變和發展的思維模式
One-there is fear of failure, cause I want to be smart.
一個是 畏懼失敗 因為我想聰明
It's fun being called smart and intelligent. I don't want to threaten the schema.
被人稱贊聰明很有意思 我不想威脅到這個基模
Versus working hard, focusing on the process, when the excellence schema becomes the dominant modus operandi.
相對的是努力的、重視過程的 當追求卓越的基模成為慣常做法
OK. So how do we overcome perfectionism? What do we do about it if we have it?
那么我們如何克服完美主義呢？如果我們確實有這個問題怎么辦？
And again, remember there's no perfect perfectionist. There is no perfect person committed to excellence.
要記住 根本就沒有完美的完美主義者 也沒有完美的追求卓越者
You need to choose in your life where you are happy, and where you think you can be happier.
你們必須選擇你能快樂的生活方式 選擇你認為能夠更加快樂的生活方式
This may not even speak to you. This for you may be just interesting academically, or it may be deeply personal.
不會有現成的答案擺在你面前 對你而言可能只是有趣的學術理論或者是非常個人化的原因
So how do we become more and more of the excellence schema?
那么我們該怎么更多地采用卓越的基模呢
First, it is about self-awareness. It's about understanding.
首先 是自我認知 在于自我了解
For me, a big breakthrough was understanding "hey I'm actually defensive and I don't want to be defensive."
對我來說 明白“我太過于有自衛性了我不想再這樣了”是一個大突破
Because I know that it hurts intimacy and relationships and that's when I started the real work on it.
因為我知道這會傷害親密的人際關系 并且從那時候我開始在這上面努力
And that has improved, and continues to improve my relationships.
并且有所進步 并且在將來仍將繼續提升我的人際關系
Or"look at my reaction to failure. Look how afraid I am of hearing a no.
或者 “看看我有多么畏懼失敗、我有多么害怕聽到個不字、
Look how afraid I am of being rejected. Look how afraid I am of coping and trying."
看看我有多么害怕被拒絕、看看我有多害怕應對與嘗試。”
So being aware of it. I mean, if you want to improve your forehand in tennis,
就應該意識到它 如果你想讓你的網球技術進步
you first need to be aware of what it is that you want to improve.
你必須首先明白你想要進步的是什么
So that's the first step. And that's easier said than done.
這就是第一步 說起來容易做起來難
