評論
打印
Nine years after the Christmas dance, I was 25 years old, and headed straight for a nervous breakdown.
圣誕舞會過去9年后，我25歲，并且將要經歷一場精神崩潰。
My self-worth was buried under a soul-crushing load of silence that isolated me from everyone that I cared about,
我的自我價值，被埋葬在讓靈魂不堪重負的寂靜之中，它把我和我關心的人們隔離開，
and I was consumed with misplaced hatred and anger that I took out on myself.
我錯誤地對自己發泄的怨恨和憤怒，將我消耗殆盡。
One day, I stormed out of the door in tears after a fight with a loved one,
一天，和一位我愛的人發生爭執之后，我哭著沖出門去，
and I wandered into a café, where I asked the waitress for a pen.
我走進一家咖啡店，找女服務生要了一支筆。
I always had a notebook with me, claiming that it was to jot down ideas in moments of inspiration,
我總是帶著一個筆記本電腦，聲稱是為了捕捉一些靈感的瞬間，
but the truth was that I needed to be constantly fidgeting,
但事實上，是因為我需要隨著都做點什么，
because in moments of stillness, I found myself counting seconds again.
因為在安靜下來的時候，我發現我又會開始數秒數。
But that day, I watched in wonder as the words streamed out of my pen, forming the most pivotal letter I've ever written, addressed to Tom.
但那天，我驚訝地發現，我寫下了給Tom的信中最關鍵的一封。
Along with an account of the violence that he subjected me to, the words,
在信中，除了描述他曾讓我遭受的暴力，我還寫下，
"I want to find forgiveness" stared back at me, surprising nobody more than myself.
“我希望能夠寬恕”，這句話像是盯著我，我比任何人都感到驚訝。
But deep down I realized that this was my way out of my suffering,
但內心深處，我意識到這能夠讓我從痛苦中解脫，
because regardless of whether or not he deserved my forgiveness, I deserved peace. My era of shame was over.
因為無論他是否值得得到我的寬恕，我值得獲得平靜。我這個充滿羞恥的時期已經過去。
