1. Mother says that when I start talking, I never know when to stop. But then, "Well, Mother," I say, "when people are like you and I, and married over fifty years, do you expect everything I say will be something you ain't heard me say before?” So she says: "You can bet they ain't, as nobody else can stand you that long." You can't get ahead of Mother.
孩他媽說我一開口說話就停不下來。但，我的回答是：“嗯，孩他媽，當兩個人像咱倆這樣，都已經結婚五十年了，你還會期待從我這聽到的每一句話都是新鮮的嗎？”于是，她回答說：“當然不會，因為沒有其他人能忍你這么久。”你不可能贏得了孩他媽。
2. It would be our Golden Honeymoon. We ended up in St. Petersburg, where we stayed at a cosy hotel. I asked Mother how she would like to travel around more after this trip and she said: "Fine, but not with an old rattle brain like you driving." You can't get ahead of Mother.
我們金婚蜜月之旅的最后一站來到了圣彼得堡，住進了一家舒適的酒店。我問孩他媽，這次旅行后她是否還想多走幾個地方。她回答說：“想啊，但是我可不想和你這樣愚蠢又多嘴的家伙一起開車去了。” 你不可能贏得了孩他媽。
3. On the third day it was Mother's birthday, so we ordered ourselves a real sirloin steak in the Peninsula Hotel restaurant, that was hardly big enough for one. I said to Mother: "Well, I guess it's a good thing every day ain't your birthday or we would be in the poorhouse." "No," says Mother, "because if every day was my birthday, I would be old enough by this time to of been in my grave long ago." You can't get ahead of Mother.
還有三天就是孩他媽的生日了，于是我們在半島酒店的餐廳訂了一份真正的沙朗牛排，這玩意幾乎都不夠我倆一個人吃的。我對孩他媽說：“嗯，我覺得你不是每天都過生日還挺好的，不然我們就得搬進救濟院了。” “確實，”孩他媽說，“如果每天都是我的生日，我早就老到入土了。” 你不可能贏得了孩他媽。
4. But I want to tell you about the Park. While I was playing checkers with a random passer-by who was also keen on a game of checkers or two, Mother sat down on a bench. The woman next to her started a conversation. She was a woman about Mother's own age, seventy or seventy-one, and finally she asked Mother's name. Mother told her her name and where she was from, and Mother asked her the same questions, and who do you think the woman was?
我還想給你們講一下關于公園的事情。當我跟一個同樣喜愛下棋的路人對弈時，孩他媽坐在了長凳上。她旁邊的女人開始跟她交談。這女人跟孩他媽的年齡相仿，70或71的樣子，最后她問了孩他媽的名字。孩他媽把自己的名字和以前住的地方告訴了她，孩他媽也問了她同樣的問題，你們覺得這個女人會是誰？
5. Well, sir, it was the wife of Frank M. Hartsell, the man who was engaged to Mother till I stepped in, fifty-two years ago! Yes, sir! You can imagine Mother's surprise! And Mrs. Hartsell was surprised, too, when Mother told her she had once been friends with her husband, though Mother didn't say how close friends they had been. Mother asked if Frank was still living and Mrs. Hartsell simply pointed over her shoulder.
好吧，告訴你們，她就是52年前那個在我介入之前與孩他媽訂過婚的那個家伙弗蘭克·M·哈特賽爾的妻子！沒錯，你可以想象孩他媽當時驚訝的樣子！而且，當孩他媽告訴她曾經與她丈夫是朋友時，哈特賽爾太太也感到很驚訝——雖然孩他媽并沒有說他們曾經是多么親密的朋友。孩他媽問弗蘭克是否還活著，哈特賽爾太太只是朝自己身后指了指。

6. There was old Frank! And he knew Mother as soon as he saw her, though it was over fifty years ago she left him. He said he saw it in her eyes. "Why, it's Lucy Frost!" he said. Him and I are the same age, but he seems to show it more. He is balder for one thing. And his beard is all white, where mine has still got a streak of brown in it.
老弗蘭克出現了！他一見到孩他媽就認出了她，盡管五十多年前孩他媽離開了他。他說他是從她的目光里認出了她。“哎呀，這不是露西·弗羅斯特嘛！”他說。他和我同歲，但他看上去比我老一些。首先，他頭發都掉光了。而且，他的胡子已經全白了，而我的胡須里還保留著些許褐色。
7. Well, I excused myself from the checker game and it was pretty close to noon, so we decided to all have lunch together. After, we invited them to our place. We began talking over old times and Mother said she was scared Mrs. Hartsell would find it tiresome listening to we three talk over old times, but as it turned out Mrs Hartsell talked more than anyone I ever met.
好吧，我找借口退出了棋局。此時已近正午，于是我們決定兩家人共進午餐。之后，我們邀請他們兩口子來到了我們的住處。我們開始敘舊，孩他媽說她很擔心哈特賽爾太太在聽我們三個講過去的事時會覺得無聊，但是事實證明，哈特賽爾太太比我見過的任何人都善談。
8. She bragged on and on about her son, and Mother made me shut up. Well, I thought they wouldn't never go home and I and Mother were in misery trying to keep awake, as the both of us always take a nap after lunch. Finally, they left after Mrs. Hartsell invited us to come to their place the next night and play cards. Now I don't mind playing cards, but how can a woman like Hartsell's wife play cards when they have got to stop every couple seconds and brag about their son? So Mother said: "You are getting too cranky. Maybe she does talk a little too much but she is good hearted. And Frank is always good company." So I said: "I suppose if he is such good company you wished you had of married him." Mother laughed and said I sounded like I was jealous.
她開始吹噓她兒子有多厲害，孩他媽讓我閉嘴。好吧，我以為他們永遠也不回家了，而且我和孩他媽都在苦苦掙扎著保持清醒，因為我們倆總是在午餐后小睡一會。最后，在哈特賽爾太太邀請我們第二天晚上到他們的住處去玩紙牌之后，他們終于離開了。我其實并不介意玩紙牌，但是像哈特賽爾的妻子這樣的女人，如何能在每隔幾秒鐘就要停下來吹噓一下她兒子的情況下玩紙牌呢？然后，孩他媽對我說：“你別胡思亂想了。或許她說話的確有些夸張，但她心地很好。弗蘭克一直是個好搭檔。”我于是接著話茬說：“我猜，如果他是個好搭檔，你肯定后悔了當時沒嫁給他。”孩他媽笑了，說我聽起來像是吃醋了。
9. Maybe I forgot myself, but anyway, when we were about done playing cards that following evening, Hartsell made the remark that he wouldn't ever lose a game of cards if he could always have Mother for a partner in his team of card players. So I said: "Well, you had a chance fifty years ago to always have her for a partner, but you weren’t a man enough to keep her." I was sorry the minute I had said it. Hartsell didn't know what to say and for once his wife couldn't say a word. Mother tried to smooth things over by making the remark that I must of had something stronger than tea or I wouldn't talk so silly. But Mrs. Hartsell had frozen like an iceberg and hardly said good night to us. I bet her and Frank put in a pleasant hour after we were gone.
也許我有點兒想多了，但不管怎樣，當我們第二天晚上就要就要打完牌時，哈特賽爾說，如果他總是可以有孩他媽這樣的好搭檔，他玩紙牌就永遠不會輸。于是，我說：“好吧，五十年前，你有機會讓她永遠成為你的搭檔，但你當時不夠格。”我剛把這話拋出去的那一刻就后悔了。哈特賽爾不知道該怎么接這話，而他的妻子也少見的一個字也沒說。孩他媽試圖轉移一下話題，說我肯定是喝了比茶更刺激的飲料，否則不會說這么傻的話。但哈特賽爾太太像被凍住了的冰山一樣，幾乎連聲晚安都沒說。我打賭她和弗蘭克在我們離開后會有一個小時的愉快時光。
10. I tried to keep quiet, but as soon as we were out of the house she started scolding me. Well, I wasn't in the mood to be scolded. So I said: "I guess he is such a wonderful card player that you wished you had married him." "Well," she said, "at least he ain't a baby." "Well," I said, "why didn't you marry him?" "Well," said Mother, "I almost wished I had!" "And I wished so, too!" I said. "I'll remember that!" said Mother, and that's the last word she said to me for two days. We saw the Hartsells the next day in the Park and I was willing to apologize, but they just nodded to us.
我試圖保持安靜，但我們一出門，她就開始責罵我。嗯，我現在可沒心情被罵。于是，我說：“我猜，他紙牌玩得那么好，你肯定后悔了當時沒嫁給他。” “好吧，”她說，“至少他不是個‘巨嬰’。” “嗯，”我說，“那你為什么沒嫁給他？”“好吧，”孩他媽說，“我有點兒希望當時嫁給的是他！”“我也希望如此！”我說。“我會記住你說的話的！”孩他媽說。這是兩天內她對我說的最后一句話。第二天我們在公園里看到了哈特賽爾夫婦，我想要為前一天的事情道歉，但他們只是向我們點了點頭。
11. Mother and I made it up setting on a bench. "Listen, Charley," she said. "This is our Golden Honeymoon and we don't want the whole thing spoilt with a silly old quarrel." "Well," I said, "did you mean that about wishing you had married Hartsell?" "Of course not," she said, "that is, if you didn't mean that you wished I had, too." So I said: "I was just tired and all wrought up. I thank God you chose me instead of him as there is no other woman in the world who I could have lived with for all these years." "How about Mrs. Hartsell?" says Mother. "Good gracious!" I said. "Imagine being married to a woman that plays cards like she does!” So I put my arm around her shoulder and she stroked my hand. The next day we took our train for home and arrived safe and sound, having been gone just one month and a day. Here comes Mother, so I guess I better shut up.
然后，孩他媽和我坐在長凳上把這件事聊透了。“聽著，查理，”她說，“這是我們的金婚蜜月，我們都不希望它被愚蠢的翻舊賬式的爭吵給毀了。” “好吧，”我說，“你的意思是后悔當時沒嫁給哈特賽爾嗎？”“當然不是，”她說，“我是說，如果你也并不是真的希望我那樣想的話。” 于是，我說：“我只是累了，哪哪都不對勁。我感謝上帝，你選擇了我而不是他，要不這些年來還有哪個女人愿意和我住在一起。” “哈特賽爾太太怎么樣？” 孩他媽說。“天吶！” 我說，“設想一下娶了一個像她那樣打牌的女人！”于是，我伸出手臂摟在她的肩膀上，她輕撫著我的手。第二天，我們乘火車回家，經過了一個月零一天的旅程，終于平安到家了。孩他媽向我走了過來，所以我最好先閉嘴。